My 9 yr old son and a friend were playing around after school. The friend challenged my son "bet you can't pants me & ran off". He caught his friend, tugged a few inches down (much less than the kids that sag). His friend laughed, and that was it. The friend's father was informed and said that they were OK, it was just a kid thing. The school now wants to expell my son because they said he has committed sexual harassment. There is no district policy that says that pantsing must always be considered sexual haressment. The other boy's parents have written a letter to the principal stating that they are against this. We just had our parent-teacher conference and there are no complaints with his classroom or recess behavior. He is getting all B+ & As. Their only complaint was that he has missed a few homework assignments and is not doing any extra credit. Isn't this taking things too far? I
i would say yes especially since the other child and family are not offended. i would definately talk to the boys and their parents that maybe this kind of game should be left at home.
If this is the first "offense" I think it is extreme. If he continues to do it then there are more issues. At 9 I don't think kids really full understand those types of actions. I could be wrong. If he was corrected and this is an isolated incident of teasing then it should be let go especially since the friend instigated the whole thing.
No, it's considered "horse play". I know someone that got accused of sexual harassment at work, and the lawyer reduced it to horseplay. So, go that route. Good luck.
OMG-Total BS!! Your school is going WAY over the top here. Do not stand for it. Get experts involved if you need to. You may have to call a lawyer. UGh....HATE the world we live in.
Yes, too far! My husband pants my sons sometimes but I can see how it would be unacceptable in school. The kids should get off with a warning and the principle needs to make it clear to the student body that there is a no tolerance policy to pantsing or any other attempt to remove clothing from another child. If it happens after the rule is established than it is a different story.
I think the school is taking this too far! I could some other type of punishment but to expell him for this? I would contact the school board and challenge this. Sounds like the other parents will back you up. Good luck!
This is why our 'system' is so messed up. March in and demand a meeting at the administration building immediately. This is crazy and needs the brakes put on it immediately. It reminds me of the time a little girl got expelled because her mom packed a plastic knife in her lunch kit to slice whatever she brought. I think she was a second grader. Hello school officials! Common sense is appreciated sometimes!
nonsense.
anything can be sexual harassment, but context MUST be provided and it's just ridiculous to say that there was anything sexual going on here.
nuts nuts nuts.
boy, this makes me mad. in general i sympathize with schools, who have a gazillion issues to deal with daily with all those kids and all those parents who all feel they deserve to be more equal than everyone else. but then they pull stupid crap like this and wonder why they have too many tangential issues to deal with to actually get to their REAL job of teaching kids.
this is indeed taking things way too far.
:P
khairete
suz
well- the friend INVITED it! he did say "bet you cant pants me". it is tricky grounds because it was done on school property. i suppose they're trying to make an example out of it, just incase another child tries to do it in an unwelcomed manner to another student. i wouldnt say it was appropriate, but it was assault either. i'm kind of on the fence here, you could say. i think it was in harmless fun, but i dont think expelling your son is an appropriate punishment. i am just concerned that other children could turn it into a fashion trend. imagine if a boy does the same to a little girl, because he seen you son do it to his friend... i just think it's a tough yet touchy subject... hopefully, all involved can come to an agreement. GOOD LUCK!!!!
It is so frustrating when things like this happen. Where both boys involved, and both parents involved are not concerned...but the school is stepping in on something that was just a prank (and IMO just normal kid behavior). I mean, its not like your son pulled down this kids pants and underwear and exposed him!
On the flip side we have kids being bullied every single day, and parents are calling the school for action...and that is not dealt with.
To answer your question, YES the school is taking things too far. RIDICULOUS! I would be up in the school office in a nano second, and if they don't do anything about it my next stop would be the superintendent office.
The school may deem this sexual harassment.....but it was all part of a game & now the boys know better. I also think it was bullying.....which is unacceptable.....& IS grounds for expulsion. I think you all are splitting hairs/working the semantics on this event.
As a parent, I feel strongly that "pantsing" is NOT acceptable whether at home or at school. & as a parent, I definitely do not want to hear about it happening in any social venue.
Personally, I'd like to know where they learned how to "pants" each other. Time for some thoughts on what they're learning at home! Peace!
Good grief, stand up for your son, take it as far as you need to. This is ridiculous, if schools focused their time and energy where it was needed, crazy things like this wouldn't be a huge issue. Schools really need to look at the context of things, the boys were having fun and both sets of parents are okay with. No way would I stand up for my child being expelled for this.
Good Grief, is a wedgy sexual harrassment? I'm pretty sure it falls into the same category as pantsing.... if anything it is horsing around like Grandma T said or nowadays would be considered "bullying".
So much for the Land of the Free.... we arent allowed to do anything anymore without getting in trouble, lectured, sued or labled.
It's so ridiculous.
Unfortunately, for every case like yours that is obviously rediculous, there is a case like my daughters that was totally ignored. I hope you win an appeal, but speak to your son about not doing these things again, because if the shoe were on the other foot, and your child were the victim of a real incident, and no body did anything, you would be even more outraged. Your district is actually on the right track. I just wish there were more places that applied reasonable policies that allow for harmless mistakes while they catch bad actors in the sieve.
Martha
IMO this is just another example of an overly litigious country. Puh-leez.
It is ridiculous! Heck kids were pantsed all the time when I was in middle school -- yes, that was like 18 years ago :( so what. I am glad that the other parents wrote a letter-- I just wish that would hold some weight. Honestly, a person is sexually harassed not by the type of behavior but by how it is perceived (did the other boy FEEL HARASSED?) That should be the question that is asked -- think about it this way at work: you might have a joking fun relationship with gentlemen at work and what they might say to you as a joke would be AOK with you as a woman but another woman who hears it, if directed at her, might view it as improper and sexually harassing. I think it should be more about what the intent was here than the behavior. IMHO. In these days of bullying and kid suicides, schools are just trying to cover their butts! Good luck!
While I applaud them for their standards, I feel 9 YO's are still innocent and need to be taught. Does the school offer a sexual harassment video/segment, much like an employer would? I found the sexual harassment segment of our new hire meeting quite interesting, so I learned something. I think "sexual harassment" is a bit harsh, yet as well, think keeping your hands to your self is a good policy.
I suggest you take it to the district and if nothing else, you may teach them that they need to educate their pupils much like they probably did their teachers and staff. Set the standard! They may not listen to you, but if you make some noise, trust me, they will hear you!
Not sexual harassment, but Bullying yes.
If it was a boy on girl or girl on boy pantrsing, yes, sexual harassment.
Zero tolerance is there for a reason..
NO fighting ever.
NO Bullying ever.
We must continue to teach our children this. Self control is part of it.
If what your son is true. I would hope the boy that dared your son would step up and say he also participated so they could both be dealt with. This type of behavior should not be taking place on school property or school at any time.. If you think this is not a big deal let them play like this at your home.
I do not my want my daughter to be witness to this behavior.
Oh my! This is very scary! Boys just are not alowed to be boys these days! The one boy even asked for it to be done!!! The school is going way to far with this!!! Good luck and keep fighting!!!
Updated
Oh my! This is very scary! Boys just are not alowed to be boys these days! The one boy even asked for it to be done!!! The school is going way to far with this!!! Good luck and keep fighting!!!