Tell him how you feel. He won't know, if you don't explain your feelings to him.
Does your husband know that you care about this? If he doesn't he may not be able to guess. He may believe - as all the commercial and TV movies make us believe- that you dream of diamonds or luxury cruises and doesn't make any gift because he cannot get to this level.
You may have nothing for this time around, but you could wait for Father's Day and have him a nice card and have your son make one and then, when he reads the card (or later in the day), tell him how you enjoy these cards and would love to receive one from your loved ones (i.e. him and your son) now and then.
My husband usually forgets these special days (anniversary, birthdays, mother's day, Valentine...) but would send me cards. bring me flowers... randomly, which is even sweeter when I receive them. Once, it was a jewel box that he saved from trash and within a simple paper: "Coupon valid for 1000 kisses". But, each time my husband makes some ting like that, I show him LOTS of appreciation and how much I liked it and how thankful I am... so he knows I'm so happy he has a gesture towards me and I don't need any expensive present.
Have you read the five languages of love? You and your husband probably have different love languages. Read it and see if you can get him to read it or summarize it for him. Men are mostly clueless. Most need some guidance. Help him out and help yourself out too :)
When my son was younger this drove me nuts. And I'd say to my hubs couldn't you get our son to make a card? Husband "never thought of it". So when a birthday comes or holiday I tell him, I expect a homemade card make it happen. And it does. Tell him or he won't do it. And to answer your question, no it's not too much to ask!
You are going to need to tell your husband that these things are important to you and what you expect out of the holiday's. You will need to tell this to him more than once, and then you will need to remind him of it when the holiday comes close.
To us this feels like nagging and that it shouldn't have to happen this way, and eventually it won't, but things will not change unless you start to make them change.
I've been married to my wonderful husband for 7 years. He was much like your husband, but this year for my birthday he got me scented candles, a new bottle of perfume (never done before) and two homemade cards... It will get better!
No, you are not asking too much! My mom said that my dad was the same way when they were first married and they had two small boys. She had to sit him down and explain to him that it is his job to teach his children to respect and apprecitate their mother, which unfortunately, I think you will have to do if you want the situation to improve. Start out by saying how much you appreciate and admire him for working so hard so you can stay home with your son & how much you enjoy it. That being said, you don't feel appreciated for you role as mother and caregiver of the family. Explain that it is his job to teach their son to show you respect and apprecitation. Until he is old enough to shop himself, your husband needs to do so on his behalf for your birthday, Mother's Day and any other holiday that is important to your family. I wouldn't even address the fact that he doesn't get you gifts from him, personally, at this point. He'll come around. Good luck!
You definitely need to tell your husband that this is important to you. Tell him what you expect for holidays because believe me men are NOT mind readers. My first Mother's Day, my husband didn't have a card for me or one from our 6 week old daughter. He thinks the day is to honor his mother without any regard to the fact I'm the mother to his children. This year for the first time in our 4 year married history, he is going to take his mom out to breakfast today and I'll do the same with my mother. Usually we just get together with his mother and his siblings and their kids. Since my mom was in Florida, the celebration was always for his side. Thankfully my mom recently moved back to MN from Florida so I can see her on Mother's Day. Tomorrow just my husband and our daughters are going out to celebrate Mother's Day for me. Believe me I've had to have these conversations with him on what I want for our anniversary, my birthday, etc. Bottom line he doesn't really care about his birthday or how it is acknowledged, but my birthday matters to me. I also make sure we acknowlege and celebrate how he wants to celebrate Father's Day. Acknowlege how much you appreciate how hard he works, but he needs to know how hurtful this is to you and what you need.
Does he secretly resent the fact that you stay home? He may be providing for you monitarily but not emotionally. Does he give gifts to his mother or sisters? This is a good clue to his personality. A lot of men never learn to be nuturing and understand that they need to bring flowers and cards and actually go to a store and buy birthday and Christmas gifts etc. He may feel he is taking care of you and coming home every night and not out with "the boys" is enough to show you he loves you. You need to sit him down and explain your emotional needs to him. The book "The Five Languages of Love" is excellent.
If he is giving gifts to his Mom and sisters and not to you he is showing in a passive - aggresive way that you are not that important to him. And that is a sign of emotional abuse.
My husband is somewhat like this too. He won't get gifts for his mom or sister, though either. Usually, I just tell him that my birthday is coming up or whatever and tell him what I want. I then get it for myself. I even bought my own cake this year how pathetic is that!? Anyway... my son is only 21 months old so he is still too young to make me a card or whatever, but I do plan on talking to my husband about having my son do that when he is older because I don't want my son to grow up like my husband and not be appreciative of his wife/sister etc. I hope this helps and I'm sorry your husband treats you like this. You deserve so much more!
I would say his mom wasn't like that. . .
We would present my mother with homemade stuff and she'd look at us like we had three heads. She just didn't care about the homemade stuff she wanted jewelry. Just who she is. I don't fault her for it. Not everyone is partial to the arts and craft movement so to speak.
So maybe he just doesn't think of things like that because he wasn't accustom to doing it for his mother. You could mention it... that is really what I'd suggest. But at 2 your child can't do much besides scriple on a piece of paper or color a coloring book picture. So maybe he thinks it's a wash till the child can actually do something more.
Have your husband read what you just wrote.
You need to tell him that this is important to you and then provide him with the tools to make it happen. Contruction paper, crayons, markers, and as your child gets older, scizzors, glitter, glue, paint etc. Get a small tub, put craft supplies in it and then leave it out from him to use when an event is near. Do the same for him as well so that he sees the value. It's not asking too much you just have to help him make it happen.
I'm sorry you were disappointed. Happy Mom's Day!! From personal experience, I can tell you I think that some men are just not wired that way. I had my guy trained fairly well (we've been together 7 yrs & I have 2 kids from my prev. marriage) -- then this past year (my b-day is January, valentines and now mom's day) was awful! I got my own b-day cake and planned out a family valentines day (and had to wait until mid day when he was done shopping to exchange gifts & take the kids skating)...mom's day he had money issues (not a big deal or so I thought)...my kids (12 & 9) took the initiative to plan and make me breakfast and made cards and crafts -- but they were bummed they didn't get to shop for me. I waited till bedtime and said I was ready to stop celebrating holidays since he used to make a big deal something must've changed because he wouldn't even help the kids put candles on a cake i bought for myself! He was crushed, the kids were pouting, but then again so was I and this is holiday #3.
I'm sure this isn't too helpful to you, but I thought you should know that some guys just don't get it...even if you tell them what you want and when the date is (I did both!!)
Best of luck!!