I have been fighting an uphill battle with my son since he was 18 months and hes almost 3 now to get him to eat healthy foods, and unfortunately I am looseing.
Currently he eats regularly - Peanut butter and baby food sandwiches on wheat, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, French Fries, Kix, Trail mix granola bars (with dried fruit), Breakfast bars, Sun Chips and Fruit snacks. With Milk, Fruit smoothies (I just blend fruit up with milk) and V8 fruit juice (1/2 water 1/2 juice) as his drinks.
Occasionally I can get him to eat 3 cheese mac and cheese (but Im haveing a hard time finding it anymore, we think its been discontinued), chicken fingers and blue berry yogart.
I have tried everything I can think of to get my son to eat better. My Doc reccomended the "starvation" technique she said to offer him only fruit/veggies/cheese and if he didnt eat it dont give him any thing else and to only let him have water to drink... she said he wouldnt starve hisself and would eat when he got hungry enough... she was wrong! He went almost a week with out eating anything and he got so lethargic that I gave in (she said to go a week and a half so maybe I should have just kept going but it was breaking my heart and driving me insane). I've tried the reward system.. he eats a bite of X and give him a cookie... he wont do it. I was told to force him to eat it.. I tried he just kept spitting it back out. To make matters worse, after the doc.'s technique he thrashes around and screams like your cutting his foot off if you put anything new food wise near him.. hes even doing it with some of the food he ate before.
He seems to have an adversion to anything slimey or remotely slimey, he doesnt use utencils he has tried but cant seem to master it so he gives up.
Hes a happy well behaved child when it comes to everything BUT food, I just dont understand it. Any advice would be welcomed, even just reassureing me my doc isnt a crack pot and to give her advice another go.
Thanks!
Starr -
Well, I'm not a doctor, but I don't agree with your doc. I think toddlerhood is a very stubborn "control" phase, and it sounds to me like you are in a control battle with your son that is centered around food. My son is in his 2's, and food is a big issue, but my doc told me to make it a NON-issue and be very laid back about it, so my son begins to understand that there are no control issues associated with eating. This has worked amazingly well. My doc was also very clear that kids will get what they need, even if you are positive they aren't getting enough, etc. To be on the safe side, I started giving my son vitamins and he LOVES them - they are a special treat he begs for.
I do limit bad snack foods - like he doesn't ever have access to potato chips, and I usually don't order french fries. But when we have meals, I put a little bit of everything we're eating on the plate, and I make sure he has something he'll eat, hot dog, whatever, and some days he's tries everything there is, some days, only the hot dog, some days nothing. He tells me when he's done, I let him get up from the table immediately. If for whatever reason I really want him to eat a bit more, I offer him my fork (the salad size). He likes to use my "big boy" fork to spear his food, and will usually take a few more bites this way.
One other trick I know is to try eating with another family that has children just slightly older. My toddler loves his older nephews and imitates them - inlcuding eating what they eat.
In any case, once my doc told me to let go of the controlling aspect of it, I've had much more success in introducing new foods. It is "no big deal" if he tries it, or doesn't. This is the time period when toddlers really want to be in control, so maybe your issue isn't about food at all. Something to think about...but I personally don't agree with witholding food - I think that starts the cycle of food obsession that could be problematic on down the road.
Good luck!
Shannon
Hi, there - first of all, I think it's strange advice from a pediatrician to "starve" your child regardless of the technique. He probably has food issues because you may be making such a big deal of it. It sounds like he's thriving on what he is eating so take it easy and stop making mealtime a battle. Keep his food simple and low on the flavor, kids like pasta with no sauce or mild-flavored sauces. We had to make mealtime fun by calling green beans grasshopper legs or grass. We also introduced Ensure to help our son get more protein if he was in a phase where he wasn't eating much meat. I'm sure other mom's have much more advice, too!
u need to check out the Love and Logic book by Dr., Charles Fay - what they recommend is giving toddlers choices - would u like this or that - and gradually work him into healthy foods maybe - it is a great book recommended by pediatrician -
I do not agree with your Dr. I have a 3 year old who is exactly the same!! His Dr. is very laid back, he has 5 young children himself, and he recomended that I just let him eat what he will eat and he will eventually come around. To be honest when I read your list of things your son will eat I was inpressed. There are some great things on there. Hang in there, I know it will get better.
Wow...he eats better than I do! I went through that for a short time with my second daughter and my pediatrician just told me to give her a multi-vitamin. She would only eat mac and cheese for about six months. I didn't fight it at all and after that she started eating. I found out that if I didn't make it a battle...neither would she. I would never starve them and I would change pediatricians ASAP if mine told me to do that. She's now 9 and very athletic and my best eater! She even likes spinach. Something I hate and refuse to cook!
They will grow out of all their food hangups I promise. Just give 'em a flintstones and relax...you deserve it!
Hi-
Baylor Our Children's House has a location in Irving. Among other things, they work with kids who have eating issues. My daughter goes to the location in Grapevine, and we have had pretty good success. Good luck!
I also have challenges with food with my 20 month old so I thought I would respond to your email as I feel your pain. I must say though, from what you've said in your email, in my opinion he's eating a decent variety of food that is giving him what he needs (protein, fruits, grains, etc...).
My doctor also told me that if he didn't eat what I had prepared get him down and don't give him anything but I do not and would not go a whole week with that. I think that's extreme and if that's what your doctor told you I personally think its wrong and you should get a second opinion if you feel you need one. It's hard on your child and hard on you I'm sure. I get my son down from the table if he doesn't eat and if he acts hungry I'll put the same plate/food back in front of him. If he still doesn't eat it he goes to bed without dinner. But the next day is a new day and I don't necessarily give him the exact same thing again.
I don't have the answer, but I would tell you not to make every meal time and unpleasant experience for the child-then he may really start to develop food issues.
My son eats pizza, grilled cheese and cereals (oatmeal, cream of wheat, etc...) as well as all kinds of snack stuff. What I do is attempt to get the nutrition in him through other things. I buy V8 fusion as his juice as it gives him a serving of veggies (or so it says). I buy the milk with the extra protein, etc...I'm sure you get the point.
I don't think the "variety" is as important as making sure they are getting the nutrients they need.
Good luck.
Kathy
Hi Starr!
STOP! STOP STOP!!!! OK, now go to www.aap.org and buy their book on nutrition and kids.... it is awesome! It is the American Acadamy of pediatrics, they discuss serving portions, food battles etc.... The book covers newborn to teen.
I am a Pedi RN and I have 4 kids, ages 9.5years-22mos. Your son is obviously smart.... and food is a battle he can win! He knows it. He gets lots of attention from mom!
My bests advice basically follows your pedi- Make breakfsat. It can be something he likes or doesn't or a combo. Let's say pancakes, fresh fruit and OJ. Give it to him, set the timer for 20 minutes or whatever and then clear the plate. Sanck time- a small snack- grapes? Carrots w/ ranch? Apple and peanur butter? Goldfish.... again, timed. Then Lunch, same again. Get the idea? It doesn't always have to be foods he dislikes, it always has to be your choice. THe more you beg and plead, the more he will resist. Se YOUR boundries and that is the end of the discussion :-)
As a matter of refrence- my 9 y/o did not eat dinner 90% of the time from the time he was 18 months to the time he was 5 ish. The only 2 rules we have at meal time is that we all eat together- if someone doesn't like dinner they still sit at the table w/ us, and no saying "Yuck" or anything of the sort. That earns automatic bed. Dessert is an occassional treat. No one knows when dessert night is, but you have to have eaten your dinner to get it... except for b-day parties etc....
PLease feel free to e-mail me with any further questions!!
Hang in there girl!
My advice - smile, relax and keep being the wonderful mom that you obviously are. He'll eat enough and his diet isn't horrible. My daughter has major texture adversion. She is a smooth textured gal. She's growing, she's a perfect weight, and she eats how, when, and mostly what she wants. I don't limit her food and I offer anything and everything. But I don't make it a power struggle because if kids have control over anything in their lives it is what goes in their mouths. Sorry for rambling. Hope it all goes better. He sounds like a very exceptional little boy.
The best book I've read is Child of Mine - the author's basic premise is that when it comes to meals, the adult is responsible for providing a balanced meal/snack at regular intervals, and that the child's job is to eat however much of the food that is offered that they want. And that can mean they choose to have only 2 bites, or no bites, or only the hot dog, etc. And that's all there is to it - here's the food, and the rest is up to the child. I'm not even sure why your ped thinks offering cheese, fruit and veggies only is a balanced meal. That sounds crazy to me. Imagine if you were offered the same food for a week - you'd probably be sick of it, too, especially if you didn't like it to begin with. So I'd suggest that you just relax and take a breather on the whole eating thing. It sounds like he's eating a vareity of foods. Continue to offer them and to offer new foods with them. My son sometimes doesn't like when I put something new on his plate or something he doesn't like. I respond "that's okay, i'm just offering it to you. you don't have to eat." Sometimes he takes it off his plate completely, sometimes he just leaves it there, sometimes he tries it. But there's not struggle over trying to get him to eat. And at 29 months he only weighs 23 pounds so it is a constant reminder to myself that I can't force him to eat because I know that I could get caught up in wanting him to eat more because he's so thin.
Anyway, good luck to you guys!
personally, I would just back off. toddlers eat really poorly sometimes. I'm surprised that he went a week without really eating. maybe if you ignored it, didn't make a big deal, eventually it would become less of a power struggle. I'm not educated in this matter, so this is definitely NOT a professional opinion. I'm just another mom.
it sounds to me like what he's eating isn't all that bad. I give my son a multi-vitamin. if you're really worried about his fruit and vegetable intake, you could check into the kid's gummies at Juice Plus. my husband takes the adult version. the kid's gummies are just that, gummies. they come red (fruit) and green (veggie). I think you could find someone online, or I have a friend I could connect you with to order some if you'd like.
I was a picky eater as a child. I used to sneak spoonfuls of brown sugar as a preteen! the worst was beef. I still don't like the taste of beef by itself, I like it heavily seasoned. I remember sitting at the table and chewing and chewing and eventually spitting it out in the toilet. sometimes my mom just came up with these awful sounding combinations (peaches with biscuits, pear halves with mayo dolloped in the middle and grated cheese on top...yuck!). I never wanted to eat it. I would eat these combinations individually, but not together.
I'm not suggesting you start being a short-order cook (I'm not!), or letting him eat happy meals all the time. it sounds like his diet isn't awful. I have a 32 month old. he gets a plate of what we're having for dinner. within reason, if he just HATES what we're having I'll make him something simple, but I don't make him his own separate meal.
I'm sorry you're having such struggles! I'm sure eventually it will get better. maybe he'll branch out as a teen or adult. I have a friend who doesn't eat anything white (ranch, mayo, cream cheese, yogurt, sour cream) and eats his salad with no dressing. it's quirky, but it makes for interesting conversation!
Hi Starr,
I bet you will get many varied responses to this age old battle...
I am a mom of 4 and it makes me laugh because I remember when I was a new mom and my first born was very picky... don't worry, lead by example and as long as he is not just eating cookies/donuts/fruit snacks only... you and he will be fine! I can't believe your docs. advice though... does he or she even have kids? All my kids are different in their early likes and dislikes ( my oldest is 17yrs. and youngest 6 mos.) Any way when the kiddos are involved, sometimes they will try new foods, or if they are in fun shapes... but I am sure you have heard that before... No worries you are doing great! There is always supplements/pediasure drink, too.
Have fun it goes by fast!
My doctor told me they would eat what they need; give them a vitamin and don't stress over it. Will he eat off your plate? For many years, my children did not have plates of their own, and they would help me eat all my food and make a "happy plate". I saw the three cheese mac and cheese at Wal-Mart and Dollar Tree.
I've had a similar problem with my 7 year old, but my 3 year old loves lots of different fruits and vegetables. It's amazing how different kids are even though you raise them the same way. I'd like to know who your pediatrician is so I don't go there. I think the starvation method is borderline cruelty (not necessarily neglect because you are offering him food. My daughter likes french fries so I tried deep frying veggies in a tempura batter and she loves it. You can do this with broccoli, carrots, zuchini, etc. Something else to try is getting him involved in the food preparation. Ask him to help you plan a menu, take him shopping letting him help fill the basket with these fruits and veggies, etc. Then, get him to help you prepare the meal (making sure to offer at least one of his favorite things so he'll feel secure). Let him dress up a vegetable dish by sprinkling a little cheese on top or chopped nuts. Don't force him to eat anything, but serve dinner family-style passing each dish around once. Announce to everyone at the table that he (enter name) helped make the spinach dish or the broccoli dish and how yummy it is.
I have always been told to keep offering things that have been turned down before and eventually, they'll try it. Our tastes change as we mature, that's obvious. If this fails don't be discouraged. Just give him a multi-vitamin and keep trying!
I have had plenty of experience with picky eaters from my own children and I have to agree with your doctor... kids won't starve themselves and will eventually eat something... I recommend making food available every two to three hours and offer small portions... even if it's peanut butter on wheat crackers, it still has some nutrition... the rule in our house (and in my in home daycare) is that I cook one meal for everyone and if you don't want to eat, don't BUT that's all there is until the next snack/meal time... food is the only thing your child can control at this stage of their life and you don't want to turn it into a battle ground... this is truly more of a control issue than a food issue... I know it's hard but remember that you're the Mommy and it will get better! I hope it helps! :)
It seems to me like you are doing great with his diet. He is getting nutrition from the little smoothies, ect. My advice to to stop making it an issue and just feed him what you want him to eat. Make sure that there are SOME things on there that he likes to eat (I would do small portions of the tasty stuff so he does not fill up only on what he like to eat.) It seems as though this has become his way to show his independance and will. Don't even let it phase you. Remain upbeat and do not mention a thing about his eating while at the dinner table. This will show him that you are out of the game and that you will remain calm no matter what he eats or doesn't eat.
Hope this helps! I have been there twice! It gets better!
My son had the same problem. Would not eat anything "wet", would retch when he saw anything new and 'yucky'. He has just turned 5 now and while he is not perfect, he is better. So, I think a lot of it is just the age. Our doctor told us that he may just have really sensitive taste buds, but as long as he has a few good quality foods he'll eat, he's okay. Also, if he'll drink milk, try putting Carnation instant breakfast in it once a day - good vitamin source. I've found that the less emphasis we put on 'what' he eats, the better he will eat - with mine it seems to be a bit of a control thing too.
Keep putting what you want him to eat on his plate - don't make any big deal of it. Just tell him that he doesn't have to eat it, he just has to leave it there. He will eventually get used to it and try it, but it will take a while.
Hang in there - I know it's frustrating but it does get better!
ok i think your doc is somewhat right there has been research that has shown children who are given many healthy choices fruit veggies meats healthy crackers(organic earths best crackers shaped as elmo and big bird are my daughters favs!) will eat only what they need and when they were tested blood stool ect. they got all the nutrition they needed over a period of that week! personally i would not offer anything fried,breaded or processed. only offer thing similar to what he likes like cheese sandwiches,the yogurt is wonderful and try to mix fresh fruit in the yogurt, and offer baked chicken he will get hungry enough but i would still give him milk i would never not offer my child milk maybe just give him the food first with water then after he eats a little offer milk.it will take a while to change his tastes but it will happen he will eat what he's given you just have to stay strong i know you can do it. my niece was given tv dinners mac and cheese(unhealthy!) chicken nugget,fingers and she is now nine years old with high cholesterol and obese. this couldv'e been prevented with a healthy diet right from the start i know you can do it and obviously you want your child to be healthy! also look for books that talk about the nutrional values in food and have great recipes for kids meals. i hope this helps you! oh and thats great he drinks smoothies maybe you could put a vitamin powder in it too so he'll have more nutrition. good luck and God bless!!!!