I understand that people are busy but a close friend forgot my birthday. She's kind of flighty and used to remember but this is the second year in a row. Last year I got a text the next day.
So after a light-hearted discussion about why she and her DH dislike Valentine's Day, I casually mentioned that I was going out more for my birthday, which falls the day after V-Day.
I got no reply so I'm not going to push further.
Again, I understand people are busy but I'm still kind of upset. Believe me, I don't expect much. I've downgraded my expectations to a simple text will do.
I send cards but that's just me.
So how have you handled a similar situation with forgotten milestones.
It is not that big of a deal to me. A birthday is another day to me and I do not expect waves of Happy Birthday's via text, facebook, cards, etc. I enjoy sending out Birthday wishes, I just don't necessarily enjoy getting them, nor do I expect it.
I realize some people celebrate all month, some all week but it means more to me to spend time with friends and family during the year, making memories and not all on a day where they feel obligated to be wishing me happiness all day.
I am sorry you are hurt. Happy Belated birthday to you.
I think it hurts when someone you are close to forgets a birthday or special milestone. After all, it is the day that you entered this earth! I am the same way, have always sent cards, more recently texts, and to those I am close with, phone calls as well. I like to tell the people that are special in my life that they are special to me and I am glad they are a part of my life. But more aften than not, it has become a one way street.
I'm sorry you are upset, but if she's really a friend, I would let it go. My best friends and I are notorious for forgetting each others' birthdays and sending presents late. Heck, I still haven't sent their Christmas presents! We've accepted that we're busy, forgetful and preoccupied sometimes and just don't sweat it if a birthday or holiday goes by without comment.
Your birthday is the day after Valentines Day. That makes it easier for some people to remember but harder for others because their minds are already full of everything they have to do for the holiday. I used to remember so many peoples' birthdays and make the effort to call, send a card, or email. Now that I'm older my social group is much larger. I have a hard time keeping track of even my family's milestones. We all get forgetful.
I love to celebrate other's special days but when it comes to me, I really don't care. I don't expect marching bands, flowers, expensive dinners or such things.
I live a pretty great life and enjoy special times with my daughter and her dad's side of the family as well as our friends.
The last big birthday was 16 (I was getting my drivers license), 18 was OK because I was going to Hawaii and the drinking age was 18 back in 1984.
I hope you had a nice birthday dinner with your husband!!
I am always the one that remembers all of the birthdays anniversaries ect... But not so much in the last 5 years. I have become so busy with so many other things, I am not as non top of that stuff anymore.
I now just tell people to please remind me when important dates are coming up, and they asked me to do the same! I think as some of us age, this is part of it.
It does not mean I love these people any less, I am just a bit overwhelmed with lots more responsibilities as I have become older.
If it were me, and it has been before, I would never be mad or want to shame anyone for forgetting my birthday.
Sorry she forgot. I bet she still loves you though.
BTW, thank goodness for facebook and their birthday reminders!
Here's a quote that I believe in: "There comes an age when we shouldn't expect that our birthday is important to anyone but outselves. That age is about 11." Unknown author.
My guess is that your friend is like me and a lot of us. We don't want any acknowledgments of our birthdays from friends because we know we won't be able to return the favor. Its all we can do to keep up our own families birthdays. But if it is important to you, you better just come out and tell her. Because I know for me, once you start your own family, you choose not to have the pressure of remembering non family birthdays and you want the same in return.
You might say I have low expectations! I love cards (not to mention gifts!), but I don't really expect anything from anyone - even my grown children. Nobody's obligated to think of me. Folks have busy lives, and I'm not in the center of any of it. I'm not going to let anybody's forgetfulness or busy-ness keep me from having a great birthday!
Of course, when I am remembered (by present, card, e-mail, or FB post), I'm thankful, but I'm not keeping score.
I send cards, too - whether I get any back or not. And that reminds me of something else. I've known a couple of people who have decided that cards don't fit in their budgets any more and have chosen to stop sending them. But then they don't quite know how to explain their decision - so they end up saying nothing at all. Maybe this is the case with your friend.
I saw my friend on my birthday. She didn't even speak to me, I was in the back of the gym and didn't go in the store to visit but she could have come out and said happy birthday so I know she forgot too.
I am pretty well done with this particular friendship, it has grown to just an acquaintance now and I just had to let it go.
I got over 200 messages from my friends on FB so the day didn't suck as bad as I thought it might.
only family members actually send me cards.. my fiances birthday is the day after mine so all the stuff from his family and most of mine is like a joint happy birthday card lol.. but honestly as far as my friends go if not for facebook i wouldnt hear a happy birthday from anyone maybe jusst one or 2 people so dont feel bad
Well, I know a LOT of people. If I set myself up for disappointment over the ones that didn't make a fuss for me, I'd be sad, for sure, all year long.
However, I celebrate my day with the people I love, I get cards and greetings from those who remember and I don't worry too much about those who forgot.
I have forgotten important birthdays. Not really "forgot", but days fly by and I'll be like, oh crap!
I do my best to stay on top of things, but I'm not as good about it as I wish I was. It doesn't mean I love people any less.
Keeping up with my own very large and extended family is a chore and if I forget a friend here and there, all I can do is apologize. I'd hate to think they were truly hurt when that was never my intention.
I watched a movie the other night and it made me think about how difficult communication was 100 years ago. No cell phones. No computers, e-mail, facebook, the postal service was nowhere near as reliable as it is today. Letters were few and far between.
One couldn't assume that no mail or phone call meant they weren't loved.
I wouldn't dwell on this. I wouldn't. I know it hurt your feelings, but really, it's not the end of the world.
I have friends that I've known for 30 years and we don't get hurt if we forget something along the way. We are there when it's important like births of new babies or the loss of a family member.
The birthday thing? Not so much. We don't need to remind each other how old we're getting.
I hope you had a great birthday. I wouldn't worry about it beyond that.
Some people are not as into sending cards as others. If you enjoy it, continue to do so. Or not.
Yeah....I know what you mean. I can say that most of my immediate family got their card/gift late for their birthday last year. I've resolved to do better this year. So far--so good, but it's only February! :)
I'm 48 and my BFF & I have been friends since I was 6 mos old and she was born. There are years her card has come late, and I have mailed her card late on occasion as well.
In fact, her Christmas gifts are still here at my house! LOL
Generally, I chalk it up to "the mind is willing and the flesh is weak" and try not to dwell. Happens to the best of us!
I just totally forgot my bff's bday last week. I'm usually soooo good with that type of stuff but with age and all, I'm starting to not be so on top of things. I used to not really be able to understand how people missed stuff by now I do. Dont be hurt. It doesn't mean anything.
My Birthday is December 24th --yep Christmas Eve. My kids try to come over that day but don't always make it. They do send face book wishes or call. A few friends send a HB wish on facebook but I am sooooo used to people forgeting my BDay. It hurts but there isn't anything I can do about it.
If you want her to remember your birthday call her a week before and ask if she wants to do a girls night out to celebrate your bday.