Hello everyone! I have a 19-month-old daughter and just had another beautiful baby girl 2 weeks ago. So far my husband and I have been able to balance the needs of both girls well, but he will be going back to work later this week and I am very nervous to be alone with two little ones! My main concern is how to keep my older daughter entertained and out of trouble while I nurse the baby. The doctor said I need to nurse her every two hours because she wasn't gaining enough weight and that only leaves one to one and a half hours between feedings. It feels like spend the whole day nursing and I am worried my older daughter will be upset about this once daddy is no longer here to entertain her. I am not a big fan of TV and would prefer to find something else. I appreciate all advice!
My son was fine playing on his own after I got him started on something. I suggest when it gets close to nursing time, start to play with a toy and then walk away. Its possible it will keep her occupied for a little while on her own. This is a good idea to start before your husband goes back to work, and its good for you and your daughter that she learn to play independently.
My kids are 21 months apart, my daughter will play on her own now (the baby is 3 months old) but had issues at the beginning. I had good luck feeding the baby on the couch with a stack of books nearby - that way the older child could look through the book and we could talk about the pictures/read the book while the baby nursed. The 1st month was pretty hard for me balancing baby and toddler, but it's almost always great now, so hang in there and things will get better!
Hi Rebecca,
My kids are 17 months apart. We had a special 'nursing basket', filled with books, small toys, and stickers, etc. It only came out a nursing time, fit on the sofa next to me, and my older son could ask me to read to him or play with a small toy (or cover me in stickers!). We turned nursing time into quality quiet-snuggle time.
I also kept a partitioned plate in the 'fridge filled with snacks like cheese cubes, carrots, cucumber sticks, Veggie Bootie, crackers. This also only came out at nursing time, and my toddler turned into quite the healthy grazer.
One more tip: with the second, I was a more expert nurser, and learned (at about a month) how to nurse in a sling. This freed up my hands and I could be mobile. I took my older son for walks, played puzzles at the table, let him help me mix bread or pizza dough, all while discreetly nursing....all kinds of doors opened up once I baby and I learned the sling trick!
Hope this helps. Congrats!
I found this website - www.kellymom.com
If you go under Life with Baby section (or something like that) there is a subsection called tips for juggling a toddler and infant. Maybe that can help.
I read to my boys while I was nursing the youngest son. They would each get to pick out a book that was their favorite and they got to turn the pages while I was nursing and reading. So that kept them happy while we were nursing.
One thing I did was to keep a basket of 'special toys' next to the glider rocker and my older son was only allowed to play with them while I was nursing his brother. I had my younger son in the summer so I happened to be barefoot while I was nursing and my son randomly came up and named my big toes. I gave them each different 'voices' and had him 'talk' with my toes. He loved it. Your daughter may come up with stuff like this on her own. A friend of mine gave her daughter a doll and baby bottle and her daughter 'nursed' the doll while my friend nursed the real baby.
Also, I'm not a doctor, but you might want to look into nursing so frequently to make sure your baby is getting hindmilk (the breastmilk with the most calories). Often when you nurse so often, your body doesn't have time to produce the hindmilk and therefore your baby might not gain as much weight. Again, I'm not trying to tell you what to do but you might want to talk about this with your pediatrician.
You and your daughters will find your own rhythm that works for you even if you have a couple of rocky days. Hang in there, you're doing great.
I used to read to my son while I nursed his brother. I'd sit in a big chair with both of them. Also, I have one room in my house closed off with gates that has their toys in it. It made a big playpen and was a safe place for him to play while I sat in there and nursed. Don't worry. It all ends up working out.
I keep a basket of books next to the couch and I would read my son stories and sing songs while I nursed his baby sister...
We are trying to stay away from the tv now, but I bought him a Wiggles DVD that he LOVED and he would watch that or Big Comfy Couch with me for one or two feedings a day...
I also have a few special toys that only come out when I'm nursing...
Also, having a sling helepd me out so much... I could walk around the house and get things done, and she would be nursing, snug inside her sling!!!!
When my second was born I was having a hard time with my oldest using the time for mischief. My aunt suggested keeping a few of his favorite books with in arms reach of where I nursed regularly, or because he was two ask him to pick out a book. While it didn't always work it did help keep him within eye line the whole time, and there was a lot less mischief happening because he felt included.
Hope it helps.
When I had my second, I made sure to nurse him on the couch with space on both sides of me. Then my other son (then 12 months old) could climb up with books or toys on my "free" side where I wasn't holding a baby and we could read or interact. It usually worked really well.
Hi Rebecca -
Someone gave me advice on this for entertaining my three year old as I nursed twins (sure takes a lot of time!) - create a special basket (or baskets) of books and toys that you only take out when you are nursing. It makes the toddler feel special during this time when your attention is occupied with nursing the baby - and by putting it away when you're finished nursing and only taking it out the next session, it keeps it special.
Good luck!
My daughter was 27 months old when her brother was born and she generally nursed her baby beside me or I read her books while I nursed. She'd even lay down on my lap and fall asleep sometimes while I nursed in the afternoon.
I'd consider stashing a number of toys where you nurse so that your older child will play there by/with you.
Hope this helps!
Hi,
My oldest child was 23 months when her brother was born. The new baby had to stay in the hospital for a month. When he came home it was a big adjustment for everyone. I was unable to nurse him due to medical issues but was able to pump. I had to pump milk for him and than haved to feed him the pumped milk from a bottle. This meant feedings were twice as long. We survied this and baby's nap time by making a "Big Girl Box" for my daughter. The box was filled with special toys and books that could only be used when the baby was eating or sleeping. After that it went in a closet until needed again. This box was filled with books, dolls, play-dough and special toys. She loved it. If she played quietly while I took care of the baby we than played with something (just the two of us) when I was done witht he baby.
This box was such a great hit that I know make one for my friends kids when they have another child. I use a rubermaid style see through box with a cover and handle. It snaps shut and is very portable. The contents can be changed depending on the age and sex of the baby. We used Quiet type stuff.
Hope this idea helps!
Andrea
HI Rebecca, I am the mother of a five-year old boy and a 2-year old girl. I had a similiar issue when I was nursing my daughter. I made a basket of favorite books/toys that I took out during the times I needed to nurse. We called it the "feeding basket" It worked well. I also used a CD player with books on CD. Good luck.
I have a 2-year-old and a 4-month old, and when my toddler gets upset that I'm sitting down and nursing his brother, I suggest that he climb up in the chair with me and read a story. Or if I'm sitting on the couch, he can take a puzzle up there.
I can see your dilemma! I would definitely stay away from the TV. Once you introduce that into your children's lives as a way to pacify them, you (and they) will be stuck with it for the duration and it is nearly impossible to "wean" kids off of it.
Instead, I would get some age-appropriate story-tapes/CDs out of the library and put those on during some nursings. Children love being read to, and this is a good hands-free option. There are some wonderful books-on-tape for kids available. For a change of pace, you could also try putting on some good fun music (like early Beatles) and encourage your daughter to dance for you and her baby sister. She's right at the age where music and dancing can become a lot of fun. Some good children's CDs that encourage sing-alongs would be ideal, and she would probably love it. That way she could "help" you by singing to you and baby while baby nurses. It's also a great way to introduce her to movement and help her get out restless energy on days when you are house-bound.
Another possibility, though more challenging for you, is that you could try reading to her from a large sturdy board book while you nurse. This is trickier, but if you are comfortably set up on a couch, it could work. That way you could have read and cuddle time with your older daughter while nursing your baby. This could help to alleviate natural feelings of jealousy in your older daughter, too. The great thing about board books - besides the fact that they are great for reading to little kids and babies who sometimes grab or chew - is that when your children begin reading at 4 -5 -6, they will go back to the board books, since they are often great early reading books.
Good luck!
Rebecca,
What about turning nursing time into family reading a book time? You can curl up with both girls, get the little one latched on and read to the older one. Good Luck!
My first two were 15 mos appart and I found that if I sat on the floor while I nursed my daughter I could play with my son at the same time. Also, I found it helps to put a gate up in which ever room you are in so that they can not escape and get into trouble while you are tied up.
I would actually try to space out the feedings more because babies burn a lot of calories eating/nursing. My friend is a nurse and they have the newborn babies on a three hoour feeding schedule. My daughter was teeny and wasn't gaining weight because I let her nurse whneever she wanted thinking that I was helping her gain weight.
Also to help her along I pumped breast milk and added a little formula just to boost her calorie intake. I added the formula for about two weeks until she got a little bigger. Do to some other issues I pumped for about 7 weeks until she gained a good amount weight and now she's breast feeding and has chubby legs and arms and a big round belly. I let her nurse a little bit evey day so she would still be used to the breast. Some people will say don't give a bottle but if it helps your baby gain weight go for it and a little formula isn't going to hurt.
As far as entertaining your other child try to have their needs meet before you start to nurse and try to have a small toy or book you can read while you nurse. My son is three and he's really good about entertaining himself but sometimes I have him get a book and we look at that together while I nurse. I also have him snuggle up with me while I nurse.
I know it's a challenge to do both but you'll find your own routine and become a pro of taking care of both kids while your husband is at work.