Several members of both my husbands family & my family used to have keys to our front door. Before we had kids we traveled a lot and often asked family to babysit our dogs, they didnt do well at kennels. Never really bothered me that several people who did not live in our home had keys. Once our twins were born i noticed that some family members started using their key in lieu of knocking/or ringing the doorbell. On more than one occasion i was embrassed when someone walked in while i was topless breastfeeding. Call me silly but it made me uncomfortable to share my breasts with my parents-in-law. There were several conversations with the offenders about knocking and waiting to be let in, but it fell on deaf ears. They started knocking as they were letting themselves in. We needed to buy a security door and when we purchased the lock for that decided to change all the door locks. We decided that the likely hood of us going any where anytime soon is none so we did not make any extra keys for anyone. Some family members havent even noticed the locks are differant. Others are upset that they dont have a key. I dont want to give them one until im sure they can respect us enough to knock and wait to be asked in. So long story short... do you have family that has a key to use for your home? If so do they use it everytime they come over? Or do they knock first? I know some people prefer family to just walk in, but i do not. Thanks i appericate whatever it is you have to say!
Yes, my brother does. and i never expect him to knock.
.
No.
Why should they?
Its our home.
And if your relatives come over and let themselves in, that is RUDE!
I would be, pissed.
We have ONE "extra" key that is given to someone on an AS NEEDED basis and then returned as soon as it is no longer needed. I hate not feeling secure in my own home even if it is only family who may have keys. Some of our family members know our garage code but I can still lock the door coming in from the garage if needed....and I do.
Yes members of my family have keys to our house. Actually it has a keypad that can get you in and they have their own alarm codes. No one, I mean no one, in my family, including my grown children would consider using that access to enter the home without knocking first.
I have no idea what your family was thinking.
My parents do, but it's for OUR benefit, not theirs! My parents would never walk in unannounced! Your situation horrifies me! Your family members don't deserve keys!
I have always had a key to my grandma's house and garage. I also have a key to my Dad's place. At my grandma's house, I always ring the doorbell, wait a second or two then knock as I open the door. Of course, she gets annoyed if she has to come answer the door for family! Hee hee hee. At my dad's I knock and wait for him to let me in. If he doesn't and I need something from the house I will let myself in and announce myself.
My dad and grandma also had keys to my place... but that was only in case I got locked out. lol.
They shouldn't be upset at all. That's a strange response. Why don't you just give people a key when necessary, such as when they are housesitting, and then ask for it back.
Family members don't need to have a permanent key to your home. And yes, they should knock.
There is No Freaking Way I would give my family members the keys to my castle. Only one couple has the key: our dear friends who watch our cat from time to time and are the emergency contact for our security alarm. They have VERY good boundaries, too! Would never even dream of 'dropping by'.
That is craziness! My Mom has a key to our house, I gave it to her when I was pregnant and my husband was away, so if I needed her she could come right in. She still has it but she never uses it. When she comes over to visit she always knocks. I think she even forgot that she has a key! Lol.
But I wouldnt give your family members their keys back. It isnt their house to be using often. If you feel they should need one to YOUR house, then you can give them one. But in the meantime, I would just tell them they have no reason or need to just walk into your home.
My parents have a key to our house and my brothers house. They come over to take care of all our pets when we are out of town. Sometimes I will just tell my mom to let her self in when she is coming over. They would never just come in with out being told they could. I also have a key to their house as I go over there before mom gets home from work sometimes.
Givien your families history of abusing the privilage of having a key I would not give one out unless you are leaving town and then I would get it back.
My mom has a key - in my old house she's always tell me she was coming over so I expected it. Usually too I would have the door unlocked for her. If she ever came by when I was at work, she would still tell me before she did. In our new building though, she's terrified of letting herself in since it's a secure building and kind of a pain in the ass! She refuses to go there when I'm not home hahaha.
Yes, but it was a problem. My Mom used to just use the key and almost walked in my husband and I once when the baby wasn't home. After that I became very careful with my key. Of course as the kids got older it was less of an issue because we had to be careful all the time anyway.
I'd suggest to Give it to one or two people you trust and explain why you are trusting them. Get your key back when lending it to family who help out when you are out of town.
change your locks if you have to for peace of mind
Well most of my family, and a few friends and neighbors know the combination to open the garage, yes.
But I am home most of the time, some knock, most don't have to since the dogs will be barking before they get the chance!
:)
No. We don't really have any family that we could have that issue with. They all live out of town. My parents do have a spare key, as once in a while when they come to visit they arrive while we aren't home. But they would never just use it and come in without knocking first.
We have a spare key for guests to use (if needed) when they are staying with us though. We live in a coastal town and get seasonal visitors. They may decide to go to the beach while I am picking up kids from school, or while we are in town for after school activities or whatever. So if when discussing the day's plans it looks like they will be getting "home" when no one will be here, we lend them the spare key. They usually give it back when we get home or before they leave to go home--as they understand it isn't "their" key, but our house spare key for ALL visitors.
I am with you. I would be livid if people (family or no) just walked into my house unannounced without waiting for me to come to the door. Whether I was nursing on the sofa or not. I find that very RUDE, unless you have EXPRESSLY told them that you expect them to do so. Which you obviously have not done.
I would do what you have done and just not give out keys. If they are offended, so what? What is there to be offended by? When the time comes to need someone to pet sit, then give them the spare (on It's on keychain) and let them know that you need it back when you get home.
We had a similar experience of family having keys and just letting themselves in any time they wanted to. Well, that didn't work very well. We had to put better boundaries around it so we moved and changed the locks, didn't give anyone a key period. This has worked alot better for us. If they need to get in for some reason now, we let them borrow the spare, but they give it back immediately when they are done. As far as your family being upset about not having access, well, they don't have a right to it! You decide who comes in and who doesn't. Since they didn't respect you or your hubby enough to be courteous and call or knock and be welcomed in, they don't deserve access period. I think its a bad idea all the way around though to have people hold onto your house keys.....GL~!
M
Noway...
I would not have an issue with my mom or sister having a house key...but I cannot imagine someone having a key and not knocking! I would think that was just common courtesy.
Only people who were logical to have one, ironically enough it was my best friend who did the dog sitting, us more for her than the other way, but she also lived the closest to in the event I needed someone to get in my place NOW she was the most logical choice. Other than that if we gave you a key it was not for keeps. I am a just walk on in kind of person until I had my kiddo then we had the doors locked at all times, you can always get the second deadbolt on the front door that only locks/unlocks from the inside like apartments have.
Add: My bestie and I would let ourselves into eachother's place with the keys after we sent a heads up text ... hey I am around the corner coming up ... she would text in the shower or whatever so no one was caught off guard, but we were also house mates for a while so we knew how the other lived.