I’ve posted a posting before about my cousins 2 kids. They are my God children, my cousin is in a abusive relationship and continues to go back to this man. She has left her 2 (out of 4) kids with her Mom. They are 10 and 8 year old boys. She takes her 4 year old and 1 year old with her (they are this man’s biological kids). She receives welfare for the two older ones yet she never has them. She won’t sign over custody because she doesn’t want to loose the $. Her Mom is older, sick now and can’t handle these 2 boys. They have so many issues and their Dad is in prison so he is no where in sight.
Long story short, I want them. I want to take custody of them. My question is how do i go about this. What do I need to do. I have 2 step sons that come to stay with us weekends. I have 1 son my own. My husband and I work full time. They will need to share a room, and my step sons too when they come some weekends. I can’t afford a 3 bedroom right now so I can’t get them their own room. I know this is a BIG responsibility but I don’t care. My husband is fully on board, he wants them too. They are suffering, and I need to step in. How can i do this? any advice. email me or send any useful info and please read my other post regarding them for more info.
thank you and god bless!
I have contacted CPS and put in a report yesterday. it took a lot for me to do this, i didn’t want to do it but its only right. Now I need to find out how to get custody of them.
Trying not to judge but isn’t that just lovely? So very, very sad. Sigh.
I would get CPS involved. She is committing welfare fraud. I’m sure they will work with you to get you approved for sheltering the kids. Good luck & God bless.
I would talk to gma and mom first, to see if you can just get them in your home. Then I’d have her sign over guardianship so that you can make schooling/ medical decisions for them. If you prepare yourself with information on why you need that to provide for her kids, she might be receptive.
Then I’d get a social worker involved and have the kids talk about what life is like for them. The SW documents, and these mean more in court than your complaints. Document document document.
You need a good lawyer on your side. Talk to CPS, talk to the SW, talk to the lawyer and get their advice on how best to procede. My good friend is a family SW and the stories I hear from her are that there are different avenues to the same end and your best bet is to be as informed as possible.
For all of your sakes, I hope you are successful.
And I wouldn’t worry about the space issues. My kids shared a room and they’re closer because of it. Also, when was it decided that each kid needs their own room? It’s never been the norm in all of human history, so why start now?
You have already taken the first step to persuing custody, by calling CPS.
They will assess and determine if the boys need a safer and consistent level of care than what they presently have. They will first try to get the mother to make changes in effort to keep her children (wouldn’t you want that chance if it were your child?) If the mother cannot compy then they will seek placement for the boys (stay in touch with the social worker and let your wishes be known)
when they seek placement they first turn to family, then extended family and friends, and as a last resort a foster home. You fall in the extended family category, it is important that you have an established relationship with the children.
Your other option is family law, but CPS children’s court orders supercede family law orders.
Good luck and those children are lucky to have you look out for their best interest.
You will have to file paperwork with the court house, you will have to be able to prove beyond a shadow of doubt that the children are being abused, whether it is physical or mental, you will have to pay court costs, you will have to provide witnesses, etc… It will be your total responsibility to prove your case and if the state doesn’t take them during this investigation they don’t think the kids are in danger. That pretty much puts a stop to anything you can do.
You can start the process of taking the foster parent classes so if the children are removed you can foster them. Until their parents have went through the whole process, usually about 22 months, and they still haven’t met the required improvements then the state can file for termination and you could be considered for adoption. The state will pay you to foster these kids. It really helps to have that money so the kids can have things they haven’t had before.
The state has many resources and options for families and just because they need help doesn’t mean the state will take them. They may work with the family while the children remain at home. Also, just because you want them doesn’t mean you will automatically get them. You will have to go through the foster parent process too. Start now, sign up for the classes, get evaluated to see if you can qualify. Chances are even if you got them from her just by going to court the judge would want you to take the classes anyway. It also gives you more credibility. If you are turned down to be foster parents then you will know that you can’t take them in anyway.
I hope for these kids sake that you follow through and start the foster process so you can be there for them when you are really needed. When children are adopted from a state agency like CPS the state pays all the adoption fees and usually the attorney fees too. It works out better financially for the adopting family too. In Oklahoma the state still gives the adoptive family financial support after the adoption.
Good luck helping these needy children, keep working for them.
I applaud your efforts to save these kids even though you have enough responsibilities already. I would, too, attempt to get these kids in your home first, to ease the load for the grandmother. Mom probably doesn’t care WHERE they are as long as someone else is caring for them. It would make perfect sense to sign over guardianship so you can make decisions for them HOWEVER, she may not agree with that because the welfare dollars will stop for her. If you can afford a lawyer, please hire one. Even filing the simplest paperwork is made so confusing you will need help. Good luck! Your posting warmed my heart; that there are people like you on earth with such big hearts.