So yesterday my son (almost 7) wanted me to lay in bed with him and read to him. I did and then when we were done reading we were just laying there talking. My husband said that he's too old to be cuddling with him and me laying in bed with him was weird. Is it weird? When do you stop cuddling with them? He also thinks it's weird when we cuddle on the couch with a blanket. Any input would be appreciated.
I don't think it's weird. My husband and I both cuddled our son as long as he wanted it.
I think you should find out why your husband feels this way. What about it bothers him so much?
Cuddling actually releases oxytocin (sp?) and helps strengthen the bond between people. (Seriously, I'm not kidding).
I can sort of understand why your DH thinks/feels that way, though I think he's actually the one being weird (or "weirded out").
There is nothing wrong with cuddling, imo. However, in deference to your DH, maybe keep it to the couch, and not on the bed (maybe DH is feeling territorial, or worries about an oedipal complex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex)).
Maybe sit down and talk to DH about it when your son is not around, and see if you & he can find out why it bothers him so.
I don't think it is weird. When our kids wake up in the morning they all come get in bed with us and cuddle. It is nice family time. We just lay there and talk about our day and watch tv for a 1/2 hour so. This is also the time when we decide what we are going to eat for breakfast. This is my fav time of the day and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I plan on cuddling my girls for as long as they let me!! Cuddling is a parenting perk :o) It's not like your son is 17!
not weird...a good way to relax and talk about what is going on in their lives. a great way to keep bonded to him and make him comfortable talking about issues coming his way soon. sometimes we forget that a 7 year old is still really young. ask you husband why he thinks is weird...maybe he had something happen when he was young.
your kid is probably craving this close attention from dad too, but he is unwilling to give it to him so he comes to you.
your husband is out of line. i hope he's not sharing this attitude and making your baby feel bad about cuddling with mom. i lay in bed and read to my teenagers, cuddled with 'em on the couch with blankies and movies. still do when i get 'em to hold still long enough. and i'm glad my young adult sons still hug and kiss their dad.
if your husband doesn't want to cuddle, that's fine. everyone has their own comfort level with physical affection. but he should lay off you and your son and not try to make you feel badly.
khairete
suz
Amen, Suz T. I think it's weird that your hubs thinks it's weird! He's your son, for Pete's sake! I will cuddle my son as long as he wants cuddled... and I'll probably still try to even after that! LOL
Cuddling with my son is one of the ways we bond and share our thoughts, feelings, and just spend time with each other. I don't see anything weird about that at all. He's my baby - and he's 5, btw.
I think it is sad that your husband feels this is wrong. I assume your husband is, then, not cuddling with him? That is sad. Kids need physically attention, at any age. Heck, HUMANS need that physically connection with another human. Keep cuddling him, as long as he will let you. And then, still hug him and tell him you love him. People need to be touched, at all ages. Is your husband affectionate with you? In public? It seems like he may have a problem with showing physical affection? It is his problem, not yours, not your son's. Keep it up!
Sharon
It is bonding time. Nothing inapporiate is going on... in fact I think it is healthy.
To me it is a good thing because you are creating this open talk time.
I may not cuddle with my dad any more but at age 28 when I need some comfort I will still sit next to him and he will put his arm around me to show his support and comfort while we talk. He and my mom are like this with all three of my brothers and myself. We do the same thing when standing and talking. Some families do not have this kind of bond so maybe that is why hubby said it was weird. To me it is very comforting to know that through thick and thin my parents will alwasy love me and be there for me to talk to. I want that for my daughter, I am sure during her teenage years (like me) might shy away from it but in college I saw it as a good thing.
Are you married to my husband too?! :)
I was 23 and still would climb in bed with my mom!!! Seriously. It's not like you are naked with him!!
My boys are 10 and 8 and I still love on them - hold them, cuddle with them and read with them....my husband doesn't always like it but I tell him to pound sand. Just because he wasn't raised in an affectionate family - doesn't mean I won't stop showing affection for my children.
We watch movies together - there are times I will pull the hide-a-bed out and get our PJs on and snuggle under the covers while watching the movie!! Hubby just rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything anymore.
Not at all. I give my kids so many kisses and hugs its not even funny!!! Reading to him and cuddling before his bedtime is just fine. I am assuming you are both are fully clothed??? LOL! He stays in bed and you go to bed in your own bed....not a problem. Healthy and normal. You and DH need to enjoy this time...because one day he will be telling you know that he is a big boy and doesn't need it.
Some families are not cuddlers some are . Your hubby may have grown up in a family that didn't hold their kids past a certain age. I knew a woman years ago that could not hold her kids when she read them stories. They laid in bed and she sat in a chair to read to them. Me I still hug my kids and they range in age from 35-19 and I love to hold my grandkids. My parents were never huggers or cuddlers. I don't remember the last time either one of them spontanously just hugged me.
It's perfectly fine. My guess is that hubby didn't get much cuddling as a kiddo and isn't comfortable with it for that reason. Next time, if hubby's around, have him join the cuddles. If you need to talk with him to understand why he's uncomfortable, don't be judgmental - be understanding. It's kinda sad that guys aren't comfortable with it. Women are wired to cuddle; socially, it seems like we push it out of guys and then get upset when they don't cuddle us as adults. What a crazy catch-22 situation. Sigh. Maybe give hubby some extra cuddles :)
Not weird at all. Cuddle him as long as he'll let you. One day he'll be too "cool" to cuddle with mom, but until that happens, cuddle away!
I hate when man do this, my mom told me, my father, who wasn't even a real father to us, ever...made a comment around that age and my brother stopped cuddling.
My son is 6 and we love to cuddle, my daughter is 15 and we cuddle all the time.
Even my 17 year old, hangs out with me on the sofa and blankets, watching a French movie the other day....
I cuddle with my kids as long as they want to.....hopefully it never stops....
They do grow up soooooo fast.
No, it's not weird! How sad that your husband feels that way. Why should you ever stop cuddling with your child? Believe me -he'll get to a point when he probably doesn't want to cuddle with you, and it will be a sad day.
no way! my son is 7 and is very cuddly. i will cuddle him as long as i can. maybe your husband shouldnt cuddle him if he has his own weirdness, but i think that you (and I) will know it when it gets weird. i dont know, maybe for some kids it is inappropriate at that age or earlier, i guess it depends on your son and his maturity. mine is a very young 7 and pretty clueless about any kind of weirdness so far. i think the kids let us know. ex.... my son always showered with his little brother and sister, then one day out of nowhere he said he doesnt want to anymore, that he wants his privacy. i said fine, and thats it. i guess it depends how your husband was raised. its funny, because my mom would lay in bed and read with my daughter but not my son, and my father in law wont lay with my son... and he yells at them and flees the scene if anyone so much as takes off a sock. and none of my kids know what the hell any of them are talking about haha..... so i realized everyone has their own hangups, not necc right or wrong. go with your gut.
This makes me sad :( Of course he is not to old to cuddle. My son is 8 years old and my husband and I both still cuddle him. Everynight my husband tucks him in and lays with him for 10 minutes. Then I go in and cuddle him and sing him the same song I have been singing since he was a baby.
Updated
This makes me sad :( Of course he is not to old to cuddle. My son is 8 years old and my husband and I both still cuddle him. Everynight my husband tucks him in and lays with him for 10 minutes. Then I go in and cuddle him and sing him the same song I have been singing since he was a baby.
Cuddle Cuddle Cuddle! My daughter is 4 1/2 - sometimes I'm too tired to cuddle at night, then regret it because one day she won't want to :(
I have a 16 year old nephew that I see infrequently. When I do, he will let me hug and kiss him and hold his hand :) I was there for his birth, so it's a very special bond when you can cuddle - at any age.