This whole motherhood gig has taught me one thing...Never Say "Never". You just set yourself up for failure.
I couldn't agree more with Lee. I laugh inside when I hear new or pregnant moms talk about how they "never" would allow this or that. They haven't felt the brunt of motherhood yet until they are faced with its various challenges/decisions. We all know the standards change from no tv, organic veggies all the time, no naughty behavior allowed to are they happy, healthy and safe?
Because sometimes its easier, sometimes its more fun, because pre-made eggo pancakes will not kill you or your child. =) Seriously, you never know what your gonna do with your kid till you get to that paticular bridge. To me...thats the fun part! =)
HAHAHAHA!!!!! This is hilarious! I went through the exact same thing with my 3 kids. In the end I accepted that I was doing the best I could and my kids were going to be just fine (better than fine, actually, they're pretty awesome!). My sister used to scold me for letting my kids watch Spongebob or buy yet another Barbie doll. HER child was going to only have wooden blocks and European baby dolls to play with and only the best homemade organic food. But now that she has a 3yr old herself, I often see my niece sitting on her Disney Princess fold out chair while watching Dora the Explorer and snacking on Tinkerbell Fruit Gummies. I've really tried hard to keep the "I TOLD YOU SO!" she so deserves to myself!
LOL! I'm "that mom" too. There are days I feel bad because I'm not the kind of mom I wanted to be. But most of the time I'm just happy that my kids are happy and healthy (despite not eating organic and home made foods all the time:)
Welcome to the club of "When I'm a mom I will NEVER do what she's doing with her kid" HAHA!
I think what you have become as a mom is great. There are balances in this world. So let him have an eggo for breakfast and then give him an apple for snack. The fact you bought the character lunch box just to see the happiness it brought him proves you are a loving mom doing right by her child :)
Lisa
The first time I stuck my beautiful untainted baby girl in front of the TV, I thought "Well, now I'm a bad Mommy", but .... geez ... sometimes I just want to use the bathroom alone!! And, besides, do you really want your little ones to be the "weird kids" that can't eat any sugar or watch any of the "cool" TV shows? Thanks for my morning giggle!
You are SO not alone! Reading your post was like looking in the mirror. Ideals are nice, but reality is what it is. Every day I tell myself I should be doing better, but...as long as everyone involved is happy and healthy, it's time we cut ourselves some slack!
I have read the other posts and agree, especially with the "Never say never" statement. That was a tough lesson to learn, but I have definitely learned it! :)
I too had the ideal in my head of how we would raise our daughter (only now 3, so lots of years left to go), and many of those absolutes have gone by the wayside. However, in the end, we make decisions on what is really important to us to maintain and try our best to stick to those things and don't stress about the rest.
For example, we decided that we would not expose our daughter to TV before she was 2 years old, and that it was really important to us. So, we stuck to it! She now gets to watch sesame street, and that's it (besides when the red sox are on!), and we're fine with that. We always give her organic milk - that's important to us. However, if we're out and about do we stress about it? nope.
Like other posters said, the most important thing is for our kids to feel safe, be loved and kept healthy in both body and mind. How we get to that point is an individual thing that no one else should judge.
I agree for the most part, I also told myself I wouldn't let my daughter watch TV until she's 2! She's 18 months now, she LOVES Thomas and Caillou, oh and Curious George of course. I know it isn't the best for her, but it's not the end of the world. We do try to go outside every day though, if we don't she doesn't sleep well. When it comes to wholesome and/or organic food though, that's not something I could live without as a mom. We just don't have any junk food in our house, and honestly we would not be able to afford the doctor's bills that come with eating unhealthy food. Perhaps I don't have a gourmet meal on the table every night, but at least I know I'm trying my best. I've learned the hard way that healthy food is important, I let her eat whatever junk at grandma's and we ended up with food poisoning. Now we stay away from processed foods and buy organic as much as we can afford.
PS: My daughter loves her little Thomas the Tank-engine toy!
Gotta chime in for team never say "never"! :D How quickly we all learn that lesson. lol. I really thought I had eaten all the words I could eat by the time my third child came along... but nope. There were still plenty left to eat.
If you spent all your time being that other mom, you'd go nuts and your kid would grow up to be that kid that all the other kids pick on. You have to loosen up sometimes. Really, focus on the important things, a good balance of nutritious food (so you're not that mom giving him Coca-Cola in a baby bottle), decent TV (so he's not that kid watching Power Rangers and trying to beat up his friends), and fun clothes (So he's not wearing ripped up nasty clothes). You could always be worse. Just be the best you can be, and don't worry about being perfect.
Good times LOL! You are clothing them and feeding them, and the books do recommend this every day! All in moderation :) Know that you are in good company!!!
I see nothing wrong with being that mom. My own mom was that mom and she loves and respects and values me more than anyone in the world. That's all that really matters. I'm happy to say I'm that mom, too!
Uh.. you took the words right out of my mouth. The fact is that when we make this grand "plan" we forget that we need some time off too! We just CANNOT at all times be that perfect person whos cooking for their kids, coming up with constructive/creative activities to do all day long to prevent them from watching tv etc. As long as we let them do all that stuff in moderation i think we're ok. And you know whats best for your kids. You're not doing anything wrong!
i don't have much more to add since all the other posters covered it so well. but, i truly enjoyed reading your post and all the comments. i am exactly the same way! i find myself every day putting too much pressure on myself about what is "okay" and "not okay" for my son to do/eat/etc. i constantly worry about the lifelong effects my decisions will have on him! it's crazy making! since becoming a mom, i find myself telling others who are not yet moms that no one can ever prepare you for motherhood. i was definitely that pregnant woman who would say "i will never" but until you are actually a mother, you don't know what you will do!
thanks for your post and letting me know i'm not alone!:)