Photo by: Nicki Dugan

Saying My Goodbyes: A Surrogate Experience

Photo by: Nicki Dugan

Today I kissed their precious little heads, hugged their parents hard, and said my GoodByes.

It’s such a bittersweet moment to have them go home. I want desperately for them to return to their lives and settle into their being parents, to leave the surrogacy part of it behind and just be their family. To have the completion and the normalcy that families not struck with infertility have. To just be a family, not a family through surrogacy.

And so I held them tight and loved their sweet little butter bodies, and talked and laughed with the parents, and put each special second in a sacred decorated part of my brain to mull over and dig through and wallow in for the next week as I miss them terribly.

And my heart is so tender and filled with joy and I am completely at peace, but Oh, I miss them already. I miss the parents and the way they light up when their babies lock eyes with them. I miss the way the parents talk to each other with the closeness of people who know each other through and through. I miss the closeness and special delight we all have in each other. I miss the feel of their little bodies melting against me. I miss the joy I get from watching the parents figure out all the intricacies of what their babies like. I guess I just miss them.

And still, I am filled with an indescribable joy and sense of completion and satisfaction. This is what surrogacy is, this combination of love and passion and perfect loss. I am so proud of those parents and feel so lucky to share in this special thing we all did together. I can’t think of what I did to deserve such a blessing, but I am thankful and humbled to be granted such a love as strong as this.

Adrienne aka ManyMom is crazy busy caring for her children (both bio and foster) and managing all the magic moments in her life. She is also a proud surrogate and recently gave birth to twins for an amazing family!

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25 Comments

Wow, what an amazing outlook on such a wonderful gesture. I was ready to cry and instead ended up with a smile at the experience.

Dearest Adrienne,
You are a Woman who bestowed blessings to a couple that needed a Angel.You are a strong, positive Woman,
who is unselfish and caring.
God's Blessings with you and your Family, and Blessings to the Twins and their Parents.

Wow you are amazing to give some one that special gift of being a parent .
I think that is the most unselfish thing some one could do for another person .

I am a gestational surrogate as well. I delivered twins 2005, a boy in 2007, another boy in 2008 and I am currently carrying a little girl, a sibling for the one I carried in 2008.

Maybe I am just different from you, but I never feel any sadness when my journey is complete. I just feel utter joy - joy that the parents now realise their dream, and that I helped complete it. I have close contact with all the parents still, so perhaps that helps...

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It is truly an amazing gift you've given to those parents...there is no better joy! I am in awe of your generosity and strength!

I've thought about this and decided I'm not strong enough to actually do it. What a blessing you are to others! To be able to give of yourself and bestow such a gift on others.

Your post touched my heart and brought tear to my eyes. My brother and his wife are going through IVF right now, and though I hope it works for them, your post made me realize there might be other options apart from adoption if they can't conceive. Thank you!

What a beautiful post! Surrogacy is a truly selfless act that requires a very special person to carry out. God Bless your generous and kind nature. You helped to complete a family and there is no bigger miracle than that.

Adrienne; I was crying and smiling as I read your article. Amazing the strength, love, and compassion that you have. Your an incredible woman. Much love & happiness to you & all that you touch. Sincerely, Carolyn

Thanks you restored my faith in what is good in this sometimes cold world. What a wonderful and enormous gift you have given, you are a very special person.

Adrienne,
WOW!!!! I, too, was ready to cry but also smiled at the love and unselfishness you have. You are a true blessing to many and I pray our Lord blesses you more than you ever thought possible. God love and bless you.

Adrienne,

God has blest you in the giving of this precious gift of children to those who needed them. God uses many ways to bless people and He used you in a great way. May God's blessings continue to shine down upon you. Thank you for allowing God to use you to bless others. Thank You Lord for this dear Lady.

Blessings,
Nancy

Wow - surrogacy seems like a rewarding but tough job. Thanks for sharing with us - I'm sure the babies and the parents are so thankful for what you have done for them!!!

Adrienne,
What a beautiful gift you so unselfishling gave to those parents! You are so amazing!

You are beautiful! What a wonderful gift you give to the world.

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