Im sure that there will be gasps at my response...
My daughter was 4 when she got rid of her paci. That said, it wasn't really because I wanted her to... It was because of everyone elses comments. Her teeth are in wonderful shape. No overbite or crossbite. The dentist said her teeth are in better shape than most he's seen at her age. Never once had a cavity even. She's got 5 adult teeth now at age 7. Not one issue.
I was 4 when I gave mine up and went immediately to thumb sucking. I only had braces because of TMJ - Later to be found that the reason for my TMJ was because my wisdom teeth were fully grown in by age 14 and the root wrapped around my jaw... Otherwise, I would've never had braces. I sucked my thumb until I was 11.
Does it bother me? Nope. I'm with Riley J....
And gasp my 2yr old son still has his paci & has a bottle just before he goes to bed.
You have a lot of responses already and I don't have time to read them so I am more than likely repeating what has already been said!. I think the main reasons why they say to get rid of it sooner is because of teeth , it can make a childs teeth grow outwards , but as your kids only have it at bedtime and don't walk around all day long with it stuck in their mouths then that is not an issue for you , the other concren is speech and how it can interfere , but again unless they have it all day long and talk with it in their mouths then not really an issue. If you are ok with your kids using it for bedtime and they are happy and still need it then keep using it , what some people see as an issue others do not and there will always been parents with varying opinions , my 5 yr old daughter still needs a pull up for bed even though she has been potty trained for 2 yrs now and never has accidents in the day , some parents would be horrified by that but she is not ready to go all night and I cannot face all that laundry so she will wear it until she can go without.
You are doing a great job , in the hardest job in the world and there are much more serious things to worry about than how old kids are and still needing paci's/pull ups/bottles etc!
im sorry to say but if i see a kid in the store or anywhere that is able to talk clearly and looks over 2 then i think its bad parenting. Its not hard to wing them. All you do is not give it to them when they go to sleep and yes they will cry but usually it only take a few days of that and its done with.
My now 5 year old is still sucking her thumb. Most often when she is tired or upset, but sometimes just as habit.
I asked if she wanted me to get her a paci and she pretty much said, "Awwww [sigh]".
Personally, I think it is a growing issue, much like potty training. My issue with the thumb sucking and paci, is the germs. The paci is probably cleaner, but I guess much like a thumb, you couldn't catch them to wash every time they grab it and stick it in their mouth.
I do not like pacifiers at all. None of my kids ever used them. The only time I think pacifiers should be used is when they are newborns and they have that urge to suck. That's what I think they were intended for. Many parents that I know use it for their own convenience. Their baby starts to cry, oh just put a pacifier in there and they'll stop, they don't try to figure out what the baby needs, that's directed towards my sister, not you ;)
My kids found their own way to soothe themselves. My oldest boy played with his hair in the back of his head and my other son sucked his thumbed when he was tired and hungry. He is now 10 months and stopped doing that.
It really can cause problems with their teeth if you let it go too far. I don't think you're past that point but your 4 year old is probably getting close to the age where you want to cut him/her off to prevent possible damage.
mine is a thumb sucker not a paci baby. I would break the 4 yr old before he starts school or the kids would cruely break him for you. the 2 yr old no reason why stress my 2 yr old still sucks his thumb and is slowly giving it up along with his blanky. as long as both of these stay in the bedroom who cares. they will give it up on thier own.
If you ask a child neurologist, they'll say it's totally normal to have the urge to suck as it is a brainstem function. It is actually one of the many signs of intelligence and is a healthy indicator that children use this to self soothe. It is a huge concern when a child does NOT have the need or strength to suck.
Only Americans are so concerned with weaning their babies from boobs, bottles and pacifiers.
I have no doubt you know what is best for you children.
When I was living in the UK it was not at all uncommon to see children of 3, 4, 5, or 6 years of age walking around sucking on pacifiers. I had a 6 year old trying to talk to me on a train with that thing in his mouth. I think that is just uncalled for. There is no reason a child of 4 or 5 needs to suck to fall asleep. We should be teaching our children good sleep habits, not giving them handicaps they will have to learn to overcome later. But that is just my opinion. I took my sons away at 2. But I had never let him have it at bed time anyway, only in the early waking hours and at nap time, because I wanted him to learn how to sleep well, not to rely on pacifiers to bring him a false seance of comfort.
my son is 10 months old and s off the binkie i woupd throw all binkies away and let them suffer ya its rough but if you let them have the binkie any longer it could affect their speech i know a lil girl that is 2 yrs old and she talks with the binkie in her mouth and wont talk normal so do away with the binkie and find something else that their attatched to its going to be rough for a couple nights buts its time to get rid of it
I'm with you. My son is 20 months and uses his paci only at night and naptime. He never has it in public. I personally struggle with insomnia and have for years. So does my brother (and he never took a paci when he was little!) It is such a blessing to get a good night's rest, and seeing my son go down for his without a fight because he can relax is invaluable. I suspect he'll break the habit himself at some point, hopefully before he hits high school. ^_^ Kidding. I do intend to wean him off of it, but I don't intend to stress about it, and I'm not in any rush.
EDIT: Also, I'm a nail-biter. It's a nasty habit, and very hard to break! I've struggled with it for years! I really don't want a thumb-sucker for the same reason. I prefer the paci, which I can wash, carry extras, and take away when I don't want my kids to have them. Love it!
Well I think it can be used as a crutch and after a while it can cause dental problems. There are other more "grown up" ways to self sooth themselves to sleep like reading, quietly playing with a toy in bed and things like that. I'm one that doesn't see the harm in having your child struggle and learn the skills needed in life. It doesn't have to be an ugly or a mean thing to push through and learn a new way of doing things. To me it's a part of parenting. We are raising our children to be adults.
Caroline
Horrible for the teeth. I wouldn't go by just what they look like. Your kids do not have their permanent teeth yet- many irreversible orthodontic effects will not appear until the permanent teeth begin erupting.
Their teeth may look okay, but unfortunately, they wont for long. Since you say that your kids don't take them during the day I wont say my other concern, which would be children learning to talk while they have a binky in.
I don't know if the desire for a pacifier would go away. I, personally, slept with a blankey until I was 14. You certainly don't want your kids with binky's at that age, right?!
It's up to you, of course. But, I would be worried about the teeth. Talk to their doctor, talk to their dentist, and then make your decision.
Laura
Actually the first questions is: why give it to them in the first place? To answer your question: Because they don't NEED it and it has now become an addiction.
You brought up the question and the subject of vices - I put that back on you - why would you have them develop a vice at such a young age? They didn't even get a chance to learn to self soothe...
Sorry, but I am not a fan of pacifiers. They are for the adults comfort of not hearing a crying baby, not for the babies. Babies will learn to stop crying at bedtime if they are given a chance (it may take a while but it will happen) but once you give them paci they always have to have it.
There are no pacifiers in nature and a natural weening process.... For some reason, humans have chosen to go against the natural weening process and coddle their young so as not to upset them.
My 1st was not a passy user and my 2nd was. Who cares? My passy-user used it exclusively at night and was done by 2...Yes with a little support from us, but we also supported him to become potty trained, dress himself, brush his teeth, read, ride a bike...
I guess what I am saying is that it is our job to recognize when one phase of our child's life is over and help them tackle the next one. Just make sure you do it when they are ready (or just-about-to-be-ready)instead of when you are ready. And sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference. If you are unsure, get advice from people or professionals you trust and go from there.
Well, there is a man that I see in my local grocery who sucks on a cigar stub CONSTANTLY. I fail to see why people get bent out of shape when they see a toddler with a paci and start tsk-tsking when YOUR statement was absolutely right! Everyone uses a "crutch" to help them relax.
Sorry, but I totally disagree with one of the posters. Some babies DO need a paci. Sucking on a paci reduces SIDS by 90%. That's enough for me!
I was an arrogant, know it all parent who sneered at other parents who popped paci's in their kids mouths........and THEN I had a baby! lol! My son was desparate to suck on something, and my bleeding breasts needed a break. I ran downstairs and ripped open the sample pack the hospital had given me and put the paci in my son's mouth and nearly swooned with relief.
Later, our chiropractor said she was glad to see a paci in his mouth because the sucking motion actually helps everything go back into place after a traumatic birth.
My friend is a pediatric dentist and she says to get rid of the paci by age 3, and that she would much rather see a pacifier than a thumb.
We wondered how we would ever get the paci away from our son. At age 2 he took it out of his mouth, bit a hole in it, said "It's yucky" and chucked it in the garbage himself. It was astonishing.
My daughter never took a paci. And my mom told me that I, as a very, very, very strong willed toddler, had TWO in my mouth at any given time. And my teeth have always been perfect.
I am with you on this one. Sucking is self soothing. Every chikd is different. Some like pacifiers, others don't. Personally I prefer a pacifier to a thumb. A pacifier will eventually be left behind. A thumb is always there. When I worked in labor & delivery I would occassionally have a grown, laboring woman sucking on her thumb. Never had anyone sucking on a pacifier!
In studying energy medicine, I learned that the roof of the mouth is a point where two key energy meridians (Central and Governing) connect, and that holding the tongue there (if you're a big person), or sucking your thumb or using a pacifier is a way to stimulate this powerful connection. This then induces one to "hook-up" ones energy which can calm and balance the entire energy system. So, rather than take the pacifier away (unless is leaches toxins, in which case replace it), get one for yourself too.:-) They'll give it up when their amazing intuition about self-care tells them that they're sufficiently safe in this big new world. Until that time, let their inner healers do their thing!