I know you've already posted your response....but I agree that the current trends seem excessive. & this mindframe spills over into all of the planning & execution! Keep it simple, people!
I am amazed when I see pre-wedding party photos taken in limos, in chartered buses!! OMG how wasteful & ???!! I totally get the whole DD thing when it comes to drinking & driving, but ....really!
& how about that eye candy on the tables? Do we really need a centerpiece, personalized candy & snacks, + other trinkets which end up in the trash by the end of the night?
The whole advent of fondant on the cakes has spawned a trend of trying to top the most outrageous of the outrageous! It's like Tim Burton has taken over weddings! For me, there is nothing prettier than a simplistically-designed & decorated cake. A thing of beauty vs. drama ....as far as I'm concerned!
But all this said, I must add that the dresses are absolutely gorgeous....as are some of the color schemes. In our family, we had a wedding in lime green, black, & white. Put in a garden setting, with lots of fresh flowers....it was stunningly beautiful! Everything was simple...so it did not compete with the vibrant colors.
We've also seen larger wedding parties (ranging from 5-10 attendants) competing with intimate weddings, with no stand-up attendants. For me, less is more.....that handful of intimate weddings were profoundly "all about" the bride & groom!
**& before anyone blasts me, I am a color freak & have a houseful of trinkets! I have 5 bracelets on my left arm 24/7. I like bling. It's just that when it comes to weddings.....it should be all about the vows, the traditions, & the Peace that comes when life partners are joined by love & Faith.
Ok, so one of those posts were mine, about a friend who is in a wedding and being asked to pay an arm and a leg for her future SIL's wedding, my hunny is on the groom's side and I am just a guest. In short, I do find weddings important, not how much you spend or how lavish the event was but the celebrating in the joining of two lives. My question was mostly about customs in regards to is it really needed to spend all of this money. Most people think that being in someone's wedding is a true sign of friendship and think that it is required to do all of this, I have always found it a welcomed job when it is a wedding I support but I also put my financial ability to assist upfront so there are no questions or blindsides on costs. I think there are a lot of cultural things that go along with this mentality as well that I personally do not understand but hey, it's their wedding let them do what they want I guess ... I just rather the bride/groom be upfront and honest with their expectations.
“The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in
love with a personality, but we must live with a
character.”
Chelle, are you mad at me or your own mother??? Speaking from my own personal experience, my own mother did NOTHING for me. She never has either. So I did not enter into my adult years or wedding planning with a doting mom who helped me make any long lasting decisions. It hurts terribly. And no, I will not curse my own daughters with this lack of support and love. I have not decided anything about my own children’s weddings. I just hope that they are not obsessed with all others catering to their every whim, desire, etc. I have read stories about parents who have cashed in their retirement accounts to fund their daughter’s dream weddings with carriage rides at Disneyland…?? ? Really?? There is no common sense in that type of financial planning.
I’d also like to add that because we have moved so darn much, hence do not have deep roots in most places, I am not the best judge of how families and friends celebrate weddings. I just notice a lot of complaining about the inability to pay for these showers and dresses and extra wedding costs and if that’s what your families like to impose on friends in defense of it’s important to celebrate it this way and this way only…then go for it. It doesn’t sound like these are truly deep, meaningful relationships.
P.S. I removed the comment about planning for my own daughter’s wedding (which is not on the radar yet) b/c so many of you misinterpreted it as if I was angry…NOT AT ALL…My daughter can plan whatever type of wedding she wants. I’m honestly disillusioned with the ‘ME’ generation as pointed out by other smart mama’s here. I am still wondering why young women here agree to being ‘in’ a wedding then go on to complain about all the time and expense.