You got a lot of responses! I think you are right on in your thinking. I got my own car at 17, had a job and made the payments for it. I think she should absolutely pay for it herself.
No, you are not wrong. I bought my own car at age 16. I paid insurance, gas, and repairs. My mom kept us on her insurance of course but I paid my own. I also had a job, sports, and school. We didn't get anything handed to us.
Tell her ot suck it up buttercup, or she won't have a car at all!
what everyone else said :-). In high school was allowed to use one of the family cars (a 1966 Plymouth Belvedere that was as old as me LOL) for work and any time I had to be at school late for journalism or AP classes. No car in college (walked or biked everywhere), parents helped me buy my first car after I graduated and started working (they paid it off and I paid my dad back with monthly installments)
Wrong ??? No, she sounds like a spoiled brat !! I wouldn't let her use any of the cars with that attitude. It's not a 'right' that one of your teens gets her own exclusive vehicle to drive ! My parents never gave me a car of theirs to call my own. Let her save up and buy it herself. From now on, she pays the gas, puts money for her insurance, and maintenance on the vehicle. If she complains, no car, period.
Every kid I know who has had a vehicle given to them has been careless and wreck less with the car... and just down right incapable of appreciating what has been given to them. In the end, they ALL totaled the car.
No matter how she treats you, you will do her a HUGE favor in the long run by NOT GIVING HER THE CAR! It will teach her very important life lessons.
In fact, revoke all use of the vehicle, because she doesn't appreciate your generosity. For heaven's sake, quit buying the gas!
I went through a similar situation with my mom when I was 18, and at the time, I thought she was the meanest mom in the world, too. (Was a rough patch for us, but we got over it and have a great relationship now). She wouldn't co-sign on a loan for a new car. I had a job and was going to college, but couldn't see that I wasn't making enough to afford what I wanted. Ended up with a POS, but I was the one who bought it and took care of everything... gas, insurance, maintenance, etc. Looking back on it now, I see that I will handle it the same way with my daughter.
Your 18 year old needs to grow up a little, and earning her own way around is a great way to do it.
are you kidding? she may be the greatest kid in the world - she's acting like an ungrateful spoiled brat. don't you dare give in on this.
I bought my first car - it was a 1976 Plymouth Arrow. It was WWWAAAAYYY used and it was MINE. My parents had actually had the money for it, fronted it - but I had to pay it back with INTEREST.
She wants a car - she can buy it herself. PERIOD. She's an adult. She has a job and if she thinks she deserves the best of everything - then maybe she needs to realize just how much the best of everything costs.....
You are sooo not the only mean mom in the world....She needs a taste of reality. My parents kept me on their car insurance policy while I was in school - if I got a speeding ticket that made their policy go up - I had to pay the difference between the old and new policy...trust me it SUCKED!!!
Tell her this is life - she's an adult. She wants a NEW car - then she can go BUY a new car, insure, keep gas in it and do the upkeep. I would NOT let her drive the newer car you just bought.
It sounds as if you have spoiled her and now she doesn't know the value or anything....it's gonna be a hard wake up call for her!!!
I'm 25, so all this wasn't that long ago for me. When I turned 15 my parents bought a used Ford Taurus, not the coolest thing, but it was one of the safest cars on the market so that's what they got. I called it "my car" but they called it theirs. :) I worked as a nanny from the time I was 13, after school on days I didn't have sports, and then got a job at the grocery store when I was 16. I worked both jobs all through high school, and saved about 75% of it. My parents did not pay for clothes, shopping, movies, food when I was with friends, etc. so I did use a little bit of what I earned. I also felt bad that sports and drama were so expensive, so I helped my parents pay for parts of what I wanted to do. I ended up getting a 75% scholarship to college, and then the school I went to also paid me to go there so I only had to cover about 10% of college tuition plus housing because I went about 3 hours from my parents house. I also worked full time after my first semester. I was glad I had built up such a savings acount so that I could afford to take that first semester off working and get used to school. My jr. year of college I went out and bought myself a brand new car. Nothing could have felt better. I did finance it, but I put down about half on day one. I was so proud of myself and my hard work. But I missed my savings account, so I got another part time job on top of what I was already working.
I say stick to your guns and let her earn it, you're already paying for college and that is the best gift you can give your child. My husband works very hard so that we almost have our two year olds college paid for and when we are done with that we will start on the babies.
Ummm, no...
LOL
I was never given a car, I had to pay for my car. But I had to have a car to get a job, so half of EVERY paycheck I got went to my parents after they bought it, I also had to pay the insurance and gas and learned to change the tires and oil.
That is EXACTLY what my daughter will do as well.
Not only did I learn to respect my possessions and not expect things on a silver platter, I also learned to take care of myself and not be a ignorant girl who will get taken advantage of by automotive shops and things like that.
I would say that if she doesn't like what she has, she doesn't get to use either car, she can take the bus.
Tell her to start saving her money cause until she buys one, she wont get a car to use at all, see how fast she likes the used cars then.
Just my opinion.
I was given a used car that my parents bought especially for me when I got my license that I drove to get to school and back, choir and drama shows etc. When I graduated from high school, shortly after starting classes at the community college and getting a job my parents bought me a brand new car that I had to pay them back for.
The first car was a bit of a neccesity, I could not drive either of the family cars as they were both sticks and I have a knee problem that prevents me from controlling the clutch. Believe me..we tried. The used car died, gas tank cracked and at the end I would have to turn the heater on to keep it from overheating when going up hills because the radiator also died so I had to have a new car to get anywhere safely. I had to pay for part of my gas, becuase some was used to get to school and work and not all of it was play, but I think my parents paid for insurance.
So long as they are doing good in school full time I'm not going to expect them to pay for their car etc. If they drop to part time school, start getting bad grades etc then they better get a job and pay their fair share.
In my family my Mom ALWAYS got the New or Nused car and we got her hand-me-down. Then when we had enough money we bought our own car.
I bought my first car in 1993, a 1984 Ford Escort, for $1200. Then had to pay for repairs (got ripped off), but once fixed, was a great little car, we called it the GoBunny cuz it looked like it was going to die at any minute, but kept going. I bought a newer car in 1994, and sold the Bunny to my sister as her first car which she drove for another year.
When my brother was turning 17 (in 2005) we had an older 1981 car. We needed some painting done, he needed a car. So we bartered. He painted our garage while we were on vacation, and when we came back, as payment, we gave him the 1981 car. He just graduated college and he's still driving the same car...
Thanks for all of the responses. My daughter is a good kid with good grades and big plans for her future. I just feel like as other’s have said, the sense of entitlement is out of line. I want her to learn to be responsible and to know how to work for what she wants, so I guess I am going to stick to being the “meanest parent in the world” for a while. I love her enough to expect things from her. My mom taught me to do things for myself and I want my daughter to know what it feels like to accomplish something for herself. I have always tried to instill this in her, but for some reason the whole car issue seems to be the one big deal breaker for her.
Thanks for the support.