Discipline is always tricky. It sounds like your stepson has anger issues that need to be addressed. Get him into an anger management course or therapy or something. I would think he may have some feelings that he needs to deal with around the fact that his mom is not in the picture at all. I bet he misses her and doesn't understand why she's not around and in the back of his mind, he probably believes that he's done something to keep her away. He needs lots of love and to know that whatever happened, is not his fault and does not reflect on him at all. He's probably also angry with your husband because it doesn't sound like there'a any understanding, just punishment. I would definitely sick with the no springs sports if he doesn't do well with the basketball season, but ONLY if you get him some help. If you don't get him help, he won't be able to resolve these issues and no amount of punishment will resolve them for him. As for the good report card, I would give him back one of the things you took away to reward him and perhaps take him out for pizza or something. He needs some positive recognition!!!!
I do not have any thoughts on proper punishment for the 1st question, but I do think you are correct with the connect with his son and most importantly you need to reinforce positive behaviors. One thing you can try is instead of tv or video games, etc being a normal part of the day and if something goes wrong you take it away, try swapping it. When he has done good reward him with some play time or an hour of tv, whatever his fav activity is. A friend of mine has found this have made such a difference with her son (6 1/2) and I'm sure it would work at 10 too.
Good luck-
S
Dear anna. IT could be he is asking for attention in the wrong way .he may feel out of the picture since the baby is in the picture. MAYBE MORE POSITIVE REWARDS SPENDING A DAY WITH YOUR HUSBAND doing someting he likes to do a reward for the report card . then a day with you to do something fun when is followed the rules. some times just taking a way his favor activeites for a short time added back with good behavior . why did he have a fight? maybe someone is bulling him and he got tired of it . I like I would try taling with him more being more positive and possibley look for a reasson why has been doing these things a school. well good luck sigrid.
well grounding him does not seem to be working at all.
sense he keeps getting into trouble, that dose not mean you should stop.
- try putting him in time out for twenty minutes!
2.spank him in his underwear with a belt or paddle! he will think twice you should try it every time he gets in trouble even fights - ground him even longer! for like a month or two!
trust me if he knows he will get a spanking, time out, grounded for a month or two he will think twice.
good luck!
P.S. try boot camp they have boot camp for 10 year old boys!