No you shouldn’t. He has, and still is being unreasonable here, not you.
My sister had a side neighbor whose wood condo stairs were next to her living room. Their toddler’s favorite game was to take a marble and roll it from the top stair: plunk, plunk,plunk 13 times, then bam-bam-bam he would run down the stairs to get the marble and do it again, and again, and again. The never-ending-ness of it was quite annoying so she walked to their front door and asked if they could please give him a soft ball to play that game. My mother lived above a lady who had a grandfather clock that chimed every 15 minutes (once) and every hour (the amount of the hour). Whenever I slept over I had to wear ear plugs or I would wake up every 15 minutes.
So yes, he sounds like he is overly sensitive to noise, but I would also try to do what I could to reduce the noise, like providing soft toys and if she does prefer her hard toys then have her play with them on a rug.
As far as I’m concerned, he’s doing you a favor. You don’t have to deal with his jerkiness. He stomps off and acts like a jerk somewhere else.
Leave it, saying something will surely disturb this backwards kind of peace.
Definitely do not say anything. By doing so you’re putting them on the spot, causing embarrassment and more reason to avoid you. How they act is not your problem. So what if they’re avoiding you? They have the right to do so.
Now if you wanted to change what you’re doing if you learned there was something you could change and if you were friends and you wanted to maintain a friendship then you could talk to them.
Don’t talk to him and don’t live your life around trying to please him. He is not a happy person and he is using YOU as a way to fuel his unhappiness.
If you were have blasting parties every day and had a herd of kids doing gymnastics in your apartment, he would have a right to be upset. But banging on his ceiling because of a crawler? He is being ridiculous and it’s obvious that he has problems other than YOU that are at play here. You have no way of knowing (and don’t want to know) what is REALLY eating at this man.
So, ignore him totally and be nice to his family. Live your lives, Bunny. Your crawler will become a walker and then a runner, and he’ll have to get used to that too!
Dawn
There’s no reason to say anything. He’s behaving like a kid in middle school. You already know why he’s pissed. Let him be pissed. Ignore his ass.
Don’t say a word. Just live your life with your wonderful family. The old saying “you can only please some of the people, some of the time.” He will never be happy.
Nope! You just cannot fix crazy! My guess is that he is pissed because he actually went to the board and they told him that the noise was reasonable and that there was nothing that he could do about it. Smile and move on.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem that he understands the fallout of living underneath other people. He’s pissed off that his home isn’t silent except for his own noises. He probably did complain to the co-op board and had his complaints dismissed. They probably told him the same thing your husband did.
You seem like the type of person who hates it when someone doesn’t like you. Not only that, but when it’s apparent that someone doesn’t like you. It’s perfectly fine that your neighbor doesn’t like you guys, okay? He’s not harassing you, but he’s staying out of your way. If you approach him it could risk triggering a new situation so I would avoid saying anything to him at all.
If he’s ever an upstairs neighbor to a downstairs neighbor, he’ll finally understand. Until then nothing anyone says to him will make a difference. Let him be angry. It’s not as if it’s affecting you, and you and your husband aren’t doing anything wrong.
Theresa called it. 
I always tried to live on the ground / above the garage first floor units… Even BEFORE kids (because I like to hop/skip/slide/dance/whoops but it/ where’s my???/fumble clatter to the floor/ high heel Ginger Rogers/ rug burns on knees / cartwheel/ etc. around my home. Aka. I’m noisy. REALLY noisy. So I WANT that couple feet of cement under me making me silent and graceful (snort) or at least sounding that way.
Which ALSO means I’ve always been picky about my apts. Including insisting that the realtor / manager go upstairs and tap dance & slam a few doors before I sign.
I can’t really wrap my head around people who choose to live on an ‘under’ floor without making sure that the upper levels are sound deadened to their needs.
I didn’t, once. Ever see the friend episode where their downstairs neighbor dies? Come to find he left everything to then, because he knew EVERYTHING about them. Sock footed quiet walking sounded like elephants. Whispered conversations were clear as day. Normal walking/talking/sex/etc.? Forgeddabowdit. Dolby Surround Soubd.
I LIVED in that apt ONCE. It was AWFUL. My first neighbor was a workaholic anorexic barely home and when did was silent. My next neighbors were normal. Which meant it was IMPOSSIBLE. And when the 2yo ran across the living room my light fixture not only shook and swank, but. Broke. Off. And. Shattered. They weren’t loud people. I just hadn’t done my due diligence. It was my fault for renting a crappola insulated apt.
So I went to management, and tested a different set that was FINE (apparently the unit above me had been skipped when the Durasom was laid). LOL… Management DID check my apt., and was floored at how ‘Next to a subway’ it sounded. They couldn’t rip out the floors upstairs to insulate for sound… But the DID move me free of charge and DID rent it to a little old lady who could turn her hearing aids off.
Point being:
- It’s his own durn fault
- if its a condo you OWN… If it bothers you so much, pull up the floors and lay down a double layer of Durasom. If its too expensive, then you know other people’s bad choices don’t REALLY bother you so much
Nope. If he’s not saying anything or banging on the ceiling anymore, and is basically leaving you alone, leave him to his anger and let it be.
Out of respect, I would do my best to keep my toddler quiet in the mornings (esp on the weekend) and to try not to have the loudest toys out when I knew the neighbor was home. Sounds like you do your best at this already though, so I doubt there is much more you can do.
There’s not much to say or do except to be as considerate and polite as you possibly can be. If he wants to allow your presence to disrupt his day on occasion by redirecting himself in another direction, then so be it. His problem. The key is maintaining courtesy with him at all times.
love your courteous, firm dh.
apartment living can be so fraught with peril.
we had the exact same situation, downstairs neighbors complained about our toddling baby, who was in bed by 8 every night. the apartment was carpeted and we both worked, so brian was in daycare most of every day. and we weren’t about to keep him from learning to walk.
but they were a childless couple, and had the misfortune to be sandwiched between floors. after we told them, with apologies, that we were doing the best we could, they backed off even though i’m sure they remained unhappy.
your neighbors do sound nasty.
but really, what more can you do? direct a little pity his way, and move briskly on. no need to taint your own reality with his unpleasantness.
khairete
suz
I wouldn’t say anything, i would just be very nice to him. Say hello,… ect. Treat him like any other neighbor. It’s his problem to get over not your. Life is to short to worry about other peoples problems.
You can’t reason with adults, who are acting like children. Just be curtious and make sure you explain to your children that this is not appropriate adult behavior and is actually rather rude. Sometimes it is better to “turn the other cheek.” At least he’s not banging on the ceiling. Children make noise. Unless you’re renting an appartment in a 55+ community or an original agreement with the landlord was to be quiet, the guy downstairs has to realize that is the way life is. If he doesn’t like it, he can always move to a 55+ community.