As a vet you obviously KNOW how much work a rabbit is.
Our bunny is close to 10 years old, and the poor guy is pretty much ignored 
He was a gift to my daughter, when she was 7. She is now 17, and the cuteness pretty much wore off within the first few months (as you also know, there is nothing fun or cute about cleaning animal cages!)
As a mom I understand that any pet that comes into this house is ultimately MY responsibility. Even if a child diligently feeds and cleans an animal they will likely need to be constantly reminded and nagged, and of course vet bills fall on mom and dad too.
ETA: I think ignoring the behavior is the best route. Yes, it’s annoying, and I know that some kids are VERY persistent but if you continue to ignore it she will give up at some point!
When my children were small, we had family pets. THIS member of the family took care of all of them (the children helped). That was all right with me.
But when the kids wanted pets of their own, I told them that when they were out of elementary school, they could bring up the subject and we’d talk about it. It takes a high degree of maturity to commit to a living creature who needs careful, thoughtful, regular care (and that includes a bunny, a gerbil, or a snail).
So my older son eventually had some fish, and he took very good care of them. My older daughter had a series of hamsters (because, as conscientious as she was, they just didn’t live very long). My younger daughter had a parakeet. My younger son decided he didn’t want to do what his siblings were doing; however, now he’s married and has two dogs, a cat, and two foster cats, as well as a son and a daughter, so he’s making up for lost time.
It sounds to me as if your daughter may love bunnies (and so do I) but she loves getting what she wants even more. She is confident that she will wear you down if she pesters and worries you long enough. It’s a form of power game. That’s five-year-old strategic thinking!
You can tell her, “Abby, look at me so I know you’re listening. No. Bunny. Now. Ask me again when you’re twelve (or ten or whatever) if you want a bunny then. That’s it. Don’t. Ask. Again. Now, what did I just say?”
What if Abby starts pestering and whining right away (and you know it could happen!)? Then deal with her outright disobedience - which has nothing to do with rabbits - the way you usually do. You will not destroy her character or smash her spirit, whatever she may tell you.
This sounds mean on the surface, but it’s actually a good idea NOT to give a child what she whines for. What she asks for politely is something else and you can consider it rationally, but the final decision is still up to Mama and Daddy. That’s the way the world runs. Especially when you’re five.
Just TELL her, STOP whining! It will not… get… her… anything.
She is old enough to know that.
I have 6 year old.
When/if he whines I tell him “you’re a 1st grader, not a preschooler. Stop whining. Mommy will not be manipulated by that…”
And it, stops.
Now per the bunny.
We have a pet rabbit.
Have had it for about 5 years now.
Got it when my daughter was about 5.
It is a good pet. Also because, the personality of our bunny, is very docile. And loves kids. And we neutered her.
But, we keep her in a big cage.
This is the one we have:
http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=23958
It is easy to clean and use.
The rabbit, only pees/poops in one corner of the cage. They also use a litter box. So, when we have the rabbit out on our balcony for running around, we put out the litter box. And its fine.
Or, we also let her out into our yard, within a kids’ type Super yard, and she can hang out outside. And we have a rabbit harness/leash too. The kids like to “walk” her.
They have not gotten “tired” of the rabbit.
It is loved.
The rabbit loves to sit in my kids’ laps. And it is cuddly.
We just have to buy litter for the cage, pellets and hay. And we also give it vegetables we grow in our garden.
To clean the cage, we just use a poop scooper, and scoop out the pellet poop and soiled litter and refresh it, as needed.
Rabbits do not make noise, either.
Nor barking or meowing or chirping.
We have found, our rabbit to be an “easy” pet to have and care for.
If you do get a rabbit, I would not, recommend the “mini” type breeds. They tend to be hyper and/or nip. We had one previously, and it eventually escaped. though we had it in a high walled enclosed area.
And my daughter’s friend, has a Mini breed rabbit, and it bites and it is hyper and basically is anti-social.
Anyway, that is our experience with rabbits as a pet.
But sure, about the whining… just tell your daughter… to stop it.
She is 5. Not 3.
I would just ignore her. I finally gave in to the bunny whining by borrowing one for two weeks. It stunk up our basement, I was the only one caring for it and my boys’ friends had no interest in it so they quickly lost interest in it too. I couldn’t wait to get that bunny back to my friend who raises rabbits and my boys stopped begging for a bunny. However, I realizes this doesn’t always work. I did tell the boys that if it “worked out” and if dad wasn’t allergic (he’s allergic to cats and has had at least one reaction to rabbits in the past) we would keep it. So I took a risk. Good luck during this season of bunnies!
Did you share with your daughter that you were thinking of starting with the hamster then moving up to guinea pig, then a bunny? If so, then I would talk to her again and just tell her flat out: No. No bunny. Do not ask again until you are 10 years old. Period.
Then enforce the no whining. Send her to her room or whatever you would normally do for misbehavior. Refuse to allow it to be a topic of conversation.
The 1-2-3- Magic method of discipline comes to mind with this. Because it is what we parents tend to mess up when our kids need correction: we talk too much. Give her the simple response (no) and move on. Stop talking it to death with the whys and whens and ifs and maybe laters (if you have ever done that). Just a simple “no”. And if she brings it up again, don’t answer the question at all. Either ignore it, or tell her you’ve already answered and if she continues to ask she will ________(time out, sent to room, lose a privilege, whatever). She knows it is getting to you. But she isn’t receiving a consequence for continuing to be annoying. So she will continue…
When she realizes that she gets nothing out of it but time alone (or loses “x” “y” or “z”—or whatever) then she will know you mean it, and she will stop.
I learned quickly with my own kids, if I ever left any question open for discussion later, they would be relentless in bringing it up until they got what they wanted. Making it a sure thing (a plain “no”, not a “not right now”) takes all the room for debate and mind-changing and wheedling and begging and whining out of it.
Good luck.
(Oh, and if you DO use the 1-2-3-Magic, this is a prime thing to be counted for! Her: Mom, please can I have a bunny soon? You: That’s one.
When my son does this kind of behaivor I give him extra dog (we have two) related chores for a week and then ask him if he is ready to do this EVERY DAY. He promptly answers “No” after a few days. Now I only need to ask him if he is ready to and I start listing them off, the subject of his own dog comes up now and again, he is 6. Lucky for me should my son ask for a bunny I can easily shut down that topic - Daddy is DEATHLY allergic to them, so no bunnies here.
Ah yes, my daughter has done the bunny begging, and the hamster, guniea pig, dog, etc. I finally got her a fish last year. As expected, I cleaned the tank, and when I didn’t, the fish died. With the bunny and other rodents, I tell her that they would have to live in her room and they smell and are loud at night. She stopped begging for them. The dog is another story. She and her brother leave their stuff everywhere. I have explained that I do not want a sick puppy because she is not responsible enough to pick up after herself. When she can do that for a long period of time, we will talk. End of story.
Rabbits are great pets. I had one that would use a litter box and slept with me at night. He was leash trained and loved hopping around outside. Perfect pets when the time is right. But, you know what’s involved. They’re pets like any other pet. I would just explain that the rabbit wouldn’t get along with the cats and dogs (which is more than likely true). And of course, you don’t want the rabbit or other pets to get hurt.
Give her a toy bunny.
Why are you asking, when you already know what you want to do…and that is give your child anything she wants even if she is not old enough to take on the responsibility for it?
As a vet, I’m sure you are aware of this - but a head’s up for anyone else who might consider adding a rabbit to their family menagerie:
Be sure to buy from a reputable source.
There was a piece on our local news recently about street vendors selling what were purported to be full grown minis. Only they were actually babies. Tiny, furry, adorable babies. And because they were too young to be taken from their moms, they didn’t survive long. And if they did, it was because of a lot of intense and expensive care from a vet.
Sad story
Maybe she doesn’t want the other pets first, and this is her way of communicating that?
My daughter wants a pig, a pig! My husband does too, to raise organically for food. Anyhow, we sat down and talked, that before even thinking about having a pig, that she has to show responsibility around the house. This means feeding our dog everyday, on top of her normal responsibilities. It’s been about 2-3 weeks and she’s going strong. We’ve told her she needs to do this for at least 7 months and then we’ll have to re-evaluate.
My point is, try giving your daughter a chance to show she’s responsible. The reason I don’t want anymore animals right now is because I have enough on my plate. If she’s willing to take some off my plate, and we can work on this as a team/family, then so be it. (If we decide we can all handle the extra responsibility) Good luck!
sounds like you’re handling it fine.
but i’d throw in some sort of consequence for the endless whining.
maybe she can come to work with you and clean cages?
khairete
suz
I’ve done the rabbit circuit. And although I loved many of them, it is a royal stinky mess to clean up. Unless you want to have it inside, and train it to use a litter box, I can BET it won’t be DD doing the training or cleaning. Get a rabbit cage and the poop and urine catch underneath will not be fun to clean or inhale. It’ll be you doing it, trust me.
Stick to your guns,mom. DD needs to understand that even when you pray about something, God knows best and may have other plans. He doesn’t give us what we want all the time. Or it may be a future grant.
I would put her in time out every time the crying and whining kicks in.
There’s no reason to do this crap every day and she’s trying to wear you down. Who takes care of the other pets? Maybe if she had to do ALL the pet care for, say, a week, the idea of another pet would not appeal to her. And that includes cleaning the cat boxes, cleaning up the poops outside, cleaning out the fish aquarium. None if it is fun. And it can be icky. Give it a try. Because SHE wants the bunny and this is part of ownership.
And not all breeds of rabbits are nice. We had a large black lop. That thing could slash a nasty one being picked up. We had some Dutch Minis that never seemed all that friendly either. There were lots of babies and some of them really pretty, one I really really adored. But they all got new homes.
Is there a local pet store you could go to and ask them to “let” her clean out a rabbit cage? Or do you know of anyone who has one?
I desperately wanted one as a kid too. My parents said if I read some books about them, and still wanted one I could get one. I was 12 though.
Well I QUICKLY regretted it. They are very very smelly, and messy. And a lot of them bite!
I agree, you need to stick to your guns. And she will just have to accept that she’s not getting one. If she continues to whine, I’d take away a privilege or give her some extra chores. A tip I read in a love and logic parenting book is to tell her whining “drains” YOUR energy. So to put it back sh’ll need to… sweep, dust, clean up a mess or two, fold laundry etc. EVERY time she whines, tell her she’s draining your energy so she’ll have to work to put it back. It really works!
Good luck, and kuddos for sticking to your guns. Pets are a HUGE responsibility and the novelty and fun usually wear off really quick!
I don’t have any good advice, but good for you! I’m horrified that people continue to get bunnies and chicks for kids for Easter, as though the animal were a toy instead of a living creature. Then those animals are either neglected, since the parents didn’t know what they were getting into, or they’re given away when the child grows tired of them. Just keep telling your daughter no. I wanted a parakeet for as long as I could remember, and my mother never gave in. By the time I got my own place and could have gotten one, I realized that my lifestyle was not ideal for a bird. I still want one some day, but I don’t know when that will happen. Your daughter is only five, so she doesn’t really have any concept of how much work a rabbit could be. It sounds to me like you’re doing everything right.
Here is my suggestion:
If she wants to have a pet rabbit, which she is responsible for, then she need to show that she can be responsible for taking care of animals. So pick one of the pets (maybe the older dog? one who is tolerant) and give her some partial responsibility for that animal (i.e. feeding it every night) and set up some specific criteria that she will know that she has done well (i.e.you don’t have to nag her to feed the dog, that she can measure the dog’s food accurately, get it fresh water in the morning and at night, without reminding, etc.).
If she can show responsibility for caring for the pet for, say, 3 or 4 months (for the “new factor” of interest to wane), then maybe she should be allowed to have the pet rabbit.
Personally, I’d take a rabbit over a guinea pig or hamster, but that is my preference (having had rabbits and guinea pigs & hamsters).
Rabbits are fairly high maintenance rodents. I would not recommend a rodent for any child before middle school age.
As for dicipline, I wouldn’t punish her for asking, I would simply refuse to discuss it.
“Mommy, I want a rabbit.”
“No.”
“Mommy, the only thing that will make me happy is a rabbit.”
“No.”
“Mommy, I prayed for a rabbit.”
“No.”
rabbits need a lot of room, ours was a house rabbit that lived in our home the same as our dogs and was litter box trained. You have to know how your dogs would do with one. They like to play with the dogs so an aggressive dog would mean a dead bunny. Also, dwarf rabbits are more aggressive and tend to bite more compared to large breed rabbits. For a child an adult large breed female (can usually find them at the local pound or animal rescue) would be best.
I am glad you are putting your foot down. Rabbits are not something that is easy for a young child to care for. We had outside ones when I was young but before we moved we had to get rid of them. Then when I was 18 I got an indoor one. If she continues just start taking stuff away. There are so many like you said that will get them and then decide a while later that they got themselves into somethign that they did’t want to be in. When we got our sugarglidders I did lots of research. Well my son 14 is great with them and his friend like ours so he wanted one. But his parents don’t want to take care of it and he’s not very responsible. I am figuring it will be a few months before we get a new one. (HIS) because we know how to take care of them. Rabbits are similar. Very stinky and messy.