Would anything positive come from telling her? Personally I would rather not know.
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Would anything positive come from telling her? Personally I would rather not know.
If he had started this relationship recently I would think that maybe your friend pushed him towards finding someone. Since it started prior to her being diagnosed, is it possible that they have an open relationship? I think I would talk to the husband to get a better feel on this…then, like one of the other posters suggested have a casual conversation w/ your friend before you decide to tell her one way or the other. I would definately tell the attorney.
As hard as it may seem I would probably tell her. If I was your friend I would expect you to tell me. I would want to make changes in my trust. But you are right it should come from him. Give him a chance to tell her if he doesn’t you should & explain to her that you have him time to tell her. That would show if he has a heart to tell her or just brush it off & not care. It will make a difference if you do need to tell her.
Wow, that is a huge dilemma - I am so sorry you need to make such a crazy decision. I guess I would put yourself in her shoes…would YOU want to know. I most definitely would want to know, but, I am a different person…so, given what you know about her, I would try to assess that. Good luck, I’ll be praying for you!!
She is the woman that you said never wants to be left in the dark, well I understand she is sick, but that doesn’t change who she is and I think she needs to know before that trash she’s married to becomes expensive trash. The just of this is she has the right to know and I can say she will probably be pretty upset if she finds out you know and haven’t told her…Please tell her and let her change her finances to a good cause. Good luck and I will pray for you.
if you tell her its to clear your consicence and ot to help her, and yea it sticks he’ll get the money but o money in the world is worth her being upset and sad the last days of her life, if anything call her attorney
wow such a dilemna! I wouldn’t know what to do either. It all depends on your friend - do you think she would like to know at this point in her life? Money may not be as important to her right now, she might still be ok giving it to him , who knows? She is dying , so she might feel happy that her husband will still have somebody else after she goes. She will sure be sad and upset but might deal with very differently (than what she would if she weren’t terminally ill) now. Maybe she would think that it would be better if she hadn’t found out about it. Who knows what will go on in her mind in the last few days of her life. That’s a terrible place to be 
On the other hand, she might get very upset that her husband cheated on her and even though she is dying , she might feel she shouldn’t forgive him at any cost and maybe donate all her money. But then she will die alone , without her husband by her side.
Does she love her husband her lot? Does he mean the world to her? Is she an emotional person ? If so, I would just let her live her last few days happily without making things even more difficult for her. If her husband tells her , it would be his choice. But as a friend I wouldn’t butt in at this time. Unless the husband is a complete a*****le and she would be better off knowing about his affair and that he is with her just for her money. If not, let it go.
If hse finds out and gets upset with you , let her know it was a very difficult decision for you and you didn’t know what to do. Maybe show her this post. She will see how upset you are and also how confused on what you should do next.
Personally if I was the dying woman I would want to know. Let the Bas%%%. grovel. What a jerk. She’s not even dead and he’s talking marriage. What a creep.
Yes she should know especially if she didn’t want to be left in the dark. I would be more devestated that my friends knew and caught my DH and didn’t say a word to me..If she chooses to change her estate planning etc while she’s of sound mind let her if not either way it will be her choice. But…it is her choice and she should know.
This is a hard one, but I think I would tell her, so she can donate her money rather than letting the cheating basterd have it.
I really don’t think it is your place to tell her at this point. If I was in the same position, I would talk to the husband and ask him to explain the situation. I would,also, talk to someone very close to your friend like her mom or sister and explain your dilemma. They would know her wishes better than anyone.
If I were the friend, I wouldn’t want to know. She is already suffering, and it would make her suffer more near the end. If I were the friend and didn’t have cancer, I would want to know. Let it go, and let her die happy. ; )
This is so, so hard. If she were healthy I would say tell her right away. If the trust fund wasn’t involved I would say don’t tell her. So, I am going to look at this from my own point of view if I were just weeks away from dying, and had a trust fund that was going to pass to my husband.
As much as it would hurt, I would want to know. Now, I know some people will say that feeling that way is easy for me because I am not in her shoes. I was in her shoes except for the dying in a few weeks, and I had 2 kids. A friend finally told me after giving my husband a year to tell me. Everyone else knew, and I knew nothing about it. The money in that trust fund came from someone who loved her very much, and that loved one I am sure worked very hard for it. There is no way on earth I would want that money to go to a husband that was cheating on me no matter how much it hurt me.
looks like everyone is 50/50 on this. Yeah, there is the money thing that he doesn’t deserve, but, it’s just money. Your friend is dying and I’m sure there is nothing comfortable with cancer, so why make the last weeks of her life even more uncomfortable and miserable. And honestly, the heartbreak of all this may just cause her health to go downhill even faster. Yeah, she deserves the truth, but where she is at right now, what is the gain in it for her? Let her die happy and comfortable. THAT is what she deserves. What you did at the restaurant was right, but I think now is the time to just step back, be there for your friend and just keep your mouth shut. I would suggest that her husband also just keep his mouth shut as well for your friends sake. This is the way I would want it if it were me.
This is such a horrible predicament. I would probably not tell her. Although many women say they would definitely want to know, every time I have ever seen someone tell a woman their husband was cheating, it caused the wife to hate the friend who told. She’s dying. Let her be happy despite the fact her husband is a complete jerk. Even though he was cheating before her diagnosis, is there a possiblity she already knows? That she gave him permission since she’s not going to be around? Stranger things have happend. I also really like the idea of going to her family and getting their perspective. Maybe the way the trust fund is written, they can change some things, or can encourage her to give the money to research after all.
The truth shall set you free.
After i and my lover spent about 4 years together, my boyfriend told me that we can not be together. and already We were making ready ourselves to get married this year and I was very happy and absolutely ready to marry him. this breakup started when he went a little far from the city where I live, a year before. He found a good job out there. And he promised me to come back in one or two years. In the mean time, I found a job around his place (we take it as a good opportunity for us to start living together) but the company I worked for resist to leave me since i am a responsible person in the company. They offered me a very nice salary increment with huge responsibility of work. Then I told to my boyfriend I preferred to stay where I live and work, since, he has not a plan to live there forever. He was very upset at the moment and ignored me totally. I tried to contact him but I can’t. Following so much effort he sends me a message saying “our relationship is over”. I never expected such a thing to happen, so I got sick. Even after so much begging he allow me to see him, but told me the same thing that it is over. I asked him the real reason. He said, you never listened to me, you never gave me credit, and you disrespected me…..and so on. I never noticed such a thing in our relationship before, so I got shocked and couldn’t say a word in front of him. For me our relationship was perfect. And I really love him. I want to be with him. I send so many letters saying I’m sorry, I tried to contact him but there is no reply. i did everything to attract him and live with him forever but nothing was going through. so I needed a help on how to get my lover back. I had the feelling that he still loves me, though he did not say a word. I needed help seriously. i thought it will never possible to get him back and be the happy couple again? so when i read testimonies about [email protected] i contacted him and he told me that my case is a simple one to solve, so after his consultation and casting of his spell my boyfriend emailed me telling me he was sorry for all that he did to me, that he is ready to marry me now, i was shocked, i never believed that prophetharry could make such thing to happen with his spell, today i am getting married to my boyfriend, and i will never forget this spell caster i will always talk about him anywhere i go
angelina hocombe
Eta. They don’t have any kids.
Also, the only reason I bring up the money is because she was toying with donating a large portion of her money to researching breast cancer, but he talked her out of it.
I think I will wait and think on it some more before I tell her anything… But I am going to encourage him to tell her. I like the ideas of bringing the lawyer and her parents in on it, and I will also ask their advice. I still don’t know if I will eventually tell her, because she has always made it very clear that she is the woman that wants to know.
As for the other woman… I honestly believe she didn’t have a clue. She seemed genuinely upset. And I most definitely do NOT apologize for butting in on them… I know that if I was unknowingly dating a married man, I would want someone to clue me in. Also, if my husband was cheating on me, and a friend caught him at it, I would want her to call him on it. Also, if I was mistaken and it was innocent, then there would have been no problem with me asking about his wife.