Almost 6-year-old Wants a Nintendo DS or a Wii

Family & Parenting Other Family & Parenting
21

Hi! We don't have the Wii but my MIL does and we go over there for family night Wii parties. It is a lot of family fun that we can all do together, which is rare since we have a 15 yr old all the way down to a 2 yr old. Does your MIL live nearby? If so maybe she can get it for him for his birthday but keep it at her house for "special" times like when everyone can come over to play. Otherwise if you don't want to do that, it really is easy to restrict their useage of it (we do have a playstation 2) just make sure you have rules from the very begining and stick to them. My son knows he has to ask and if I say no and he has any kind of negative comment he knows he won't be playing it for quite some time. Our kids get plenty of other activities in, they do not sit in front of the tv all day because we don't allow it but also because they love to play outside and do other things.

The Wii is really a lot of fun for the family though, we used to go bowling as a family but they got rid of family night so now we can have family bowling night with the Wii at my MIL.

22

Go for the Wii. It is lots of fun, easy to use, the games are less violent, and encourages physical activity (the controls require jumping and swinging arms). It also has fitness games that you might like (yoga).

Let him play with it just like you would any other new toy for a declared period of time (a week?), and then after that limit its use to a reasonable time (consult with your son about what he thinks is reasonable--letting him set the time means that he won't argue with you as much when you tell him to shut it off, and use a timer so that there is no confusion about when it is over).

23

I hate to say it, but if you get him one it probably WILL curtail all those other wonderful activities. Those things are a nightmare. Boys are addicted to them. When your kid is the only one who doesn't have one, however, it causes other problems. They never want to be at your house, for one.

Good luck with it. If you find the solution, let me know.

24

Hi Amy,

Wow - if I could turn back time. :) I am a SAHM of 5 (5th came last week) :) ... I've had the opportunity to experience both senarios.

With my oldest, who is now 15, I was very careful about what I allowed into my home, and what allowed him to experience. When he was in K-2nd grade, we went through the 'should we get a playstation' phase. My mom really wanted to get him one and my entire family thought I was crazy for not letting him have one. They would say 'it's only a game and you can limit the time he has on it'. But, I could not see any educational value in a playstation. Especially because the majority of the 'learning' games that we saw were predominantly pc games. (I would allow him to play jumpstart, putt-putt, ect, on the computer). Anyway, I explained to him that there are sooooo many fun things to do in this world, we just don't need one - especially if there is a possibility that it could be just a time waster. I explained that it would be more fun to visit friends/family because he can play there, and its more 'special' that way. He agreed.
Well, then doubt crept in. After I had 2 more boys, (I was homeschooling at this point - something else I received a ton of flack for - but the best decision I have ever made!)
I gave in and we purchased a playstation 2, later in years a nintendo game cube, and recently received the wii for Christmas.

Here's the outcome:

My oldest is a very confident child - in a loving way. He has no problems making his own decisions - regardless of 'peer pressure' and he understands that 'getting something new' is no big deal. He understands that the desire to have something goes away shortly after you receive it, and you can live with or without anything. His main focus is on reading, writing, and playing music. He is a freshman in high-school and, because we homeschool, is concurrently enrolled in Shasta College where he's now taking pre-calculus and english 1b - which is a response to writings class. His plan is to graduate during his junior year so that he has more time to focus on his writing and music. He understands that it's not necessary to graduate early, but he wants to get high school out of the way, so that he can do what he loves, instead of only whats required. - - He enjoys playing the wii occassionally, but refuses to allow himself to play too long - he says its a waste of time unless its a rainy day and there's nothing else to do. :)

OK... so what about my other 2 sons that received the playstation....

I began to notice that the reports and writings that they did during school were always about some sort of game character (oh, also, I never let them play anything other than an E rated game). Their conversations 95% of the time had to do with a game. Also, they began to drop the quality of their work so that they could just get it done. Over time I noticed that their 'play time' together began to be about little characters fighting. Then, they began to argue more. Their focus on learning all but went away. It became a chore to get through a days worth of schoolwork. To resolve this, I did the 'stupidest' thing of all. - - I would tell them that if schoolwork wasn't done, they would not play the wii. (I know, DUH! Nothing like making schoolwork a chore and the wii a reward!)

Like I said, this 'crept' in, so I didn't really realize what was going on, but I've since been reflecting on what has caused this change in them.

We have since banned the wii totally. I will have to say that the wii can be a blast as an occasional FAMILY game because of the 'wii play' that comes with the unit, but, we are at a point now where if they play for even one half hour, they jump back in time to 'video junkie mode' so we just can't do it yet.
Soooooo, does this mean that all of this is caused by a video game? NO absolutely not - it's a combination of things - but because of the way kids learn, when they find something they really enjoy, that's where all the energy goes - so why introduce such a huge distraction(?)
Also, one thing I have learned for a fact is that when you stand your ground on what is important, your children will understand, will respect you more for it, and will learn to stand their ground regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.

I used to tell my kids that when God gave them to me, he also gave me the guidelines needed to raise them - noone else got their guidelines. And that, just because other parents did different things, that did not mean it was ok for them. I would tell them that the decisions I made were to help them find their gifts and talents so that they could have the best life God intended for them. I wholeheartedly believe this.

Sooooo... In summary, if I could turn back time - - I would have stuck to my guns and went on a hike or done a science project together, maybe some reading - - whatever - - but I definitely would not buy a playstation, wii, whatever for my kids. I would get a wii for family game night, but thats it. :)

Whatever you decide, I'm sure that decision will end up being the right one for your family. :)

Have a fantastic day!!!

Rene

Workout from the comfort of your home, with the support of an online community!
www.BeachBodyAtHome.com

25

Amy,

I introduced my now 6 year old to video games when he was 2, and my 4 year old is just starting to understand them now.. we use the consoles as a form of reward for chores done, when they have thier chores done and in my 6 year olds case his home work done then they can play for 30 minutes-1 hour... They go through phases on how often they want to play, some times they beg me endlessly to play making me want to throw the machines out the window, and other times (sometimes months on end) they don't ask to play at all, they would rather be doing other activities (usually anything that involves time with Daddy) usually outdoors.. When we didn't have a backyard it was harder to keep them away from the lure of the games, but now that they have access to freedom and sunshine they prefer to be out there... I have also noticed that they want to play more when they have a new game, but once the newness wears off they are back to thier semi-indifference... Good luck with your decision!

26

I was worried about this issue, but have found that the Wii is not addictive, especially if you are careful about which games you buy. The Wii Play and Wii Sports discs (that I think came with it) are fun, nonviolent and nonaddictive. We got one of the Mario Brothers games as a gift. That one WAS addictive (for our 10 yo daughter). I gave that one away.

I think the Wii is great for rainy days, weekends and summer/holiday vacations. It's really no different than TV, you just have to set up rules for when and how much they are allowed to play.

I like the Wii better than the DS, which my daughter saved up for and bought herself (saving her allowance and any money she received as gifts). The DS games do tend to be more on the addictive side. I also like that the Wii allows for multiple people to play it together. The DS is more isolating.

I hope this helps,
-Donna

27

Dear Amy,
I would hold off on the Nintendo for a while...depending on your son's ability to restrain himself from becoming addicted to it. I got my son a play station several years ago and fortunately, he rarely plays it. I got him guitar hero, and we have had a blast with that. My friends have a son who cannot or will not grasp, "You have 30 minutes of play station and that's it". He will not stop on his own. On a sunny day when everyone else is outside in the pool, he wants to be inside playing video games. He'll say he's going in to get a drink or go to the bathroom and not come back out. Sure enough, he's playing a darn game. He's been grounded, they have literally unplugged everything and hidden all the games. The minute they put everything back to try to trust him, he's right back to his old tricks. It doesn't help that he's got a neighbor friend who is the same way and his partner in crime. They BOTH got in big trouble because they went to the dad and said that mom told them they could play games when what they were really told was no TV, no nothing until they'd cleaned up the mess they'd made in the bedroom. Talk about a mad mama!
I guess it just depends on the kid, but I know one mom who wishes she'd never allowed any games in her house.
As for Wii, my neighbors have one for their little granddaughters to play when they come over. They're just little bitty girls, but they all take turns and have fun with it. They invite my son over when they have Wii night.
It's just like anything else...too much of a good thing is a bad thing. The new wears off of things pretty quickly for my son and he's happier running around outside. Some kids have a harder time with that.

I hope you'll find what works best for you!

28

My hubby bought the PS3 "for our son" wink wink. Truth is - it has a blue ray DVD player built in. Anyway - our son is obsessed with the Lego Batman game, so we've had to set time limits and he knows that once the weather gets warmer we are going to be outside all day and only play Batman at night. I must admit - it is a really fun game and has improved his counting and teamwork/listening skills. Batman and Robin have to stay near each other to keep from getting stuck and they each have specific skills and tasks that they have to do. We play after dinner and it's more fun than checking my e-mail while he watches Wow Wow Wubzy. ;)
Our friends have Wii - we've played the simpler sports games with our son and it's a lot of fun and you have to jump around - not good in a small room.

Our son is 4 by the way and still loves to draw and play Legos & puzzles, sometimes we have to remind him that Batman is 45 minutes a day only to gt him to move on to a different activity - but he really loves playing it with one of us - not by himself and that's nice. It's hard to find activities that are fun for the adults and the kid.

29

What about a Leapster instead? all of the games are educational. My 6 yr old has a Leappad and a Leapster2 and she plays with them quite a bit when she gets a new game and then usually when we have to be in the car for a long time or she goes to her uncles for a few hours (he has nothing for her to do). Other than thqat, she doesnt really play with it much. She has a DS as well, and it is the same thing as the Leapster. I do put a limit on how long she cam play in a week, regardless of if she plays that time in 1-2 days or it takes her all week.

Her dad is a gamer, and it is bad, but he is slowly getting better.

30

Go for the Wii. There are lots of things you can do with it besides playing video games. As mentioned below playing all sorts of sports is fun for the whole family. 'Endless Ocean' for the Wii is great. It's not a standard video game. It's exploring the ocean, finding & collecting fish, taking journeys, it's amazing. What he plays on the Wii will be determined by the games you buy so you can have some control over what he does. Setting limits to it is a whole different story tho. But as said above and many others said the Wii has so much more to offer than just standard video games.

31

Hi Amy,

Like with all things we have to teach our kids moderation. Sure it may be a bigger pain for you to have to teach that but he will truely benefit.
It's like food, they can't eat as many cookies as they want, and one or two cookies is not bad.

I was worried about that kind of thing too, but for my husbands family (back in the nintendo days) they all played together. Mom, dad and everybody.

I say try it, he may get bored with it. Be very knowledageble about the games he plays at your house and others.

I am sure with some monitoring it will be fine.

32

Hi Amy,

I feel your pain! My soon to be 9 year old has been pleading for a DS (we have the Wii system the whole family really enjoys). I believe just about all of her friends have a DS which makes it harder for her not to have one. But here's my issue: Whenever her friends get together, the DS's come out - they bring them everywhere - sleepovers, lunch, playdates....to me it's really annoying - why get together if all you're going to do is play with your DS? And, then there is the cost factor - do I really trust my 9 yr. old with such an expensive toy? She loses her things all the time, her room is a disaster.....She does have access to the Wii system at home that she gets to play once her homework is done. I think I just convinced myself to not get her a DS for a least another year. I hope this helps you with your decision.
Jean

33

I wouldn't get the game system for him. You're probably right in that it would detract from your son's usual, more healthy, activities. Maybe when he's older. But, then, we don't do much in the way of TV here, let alone video games.

34

I purchased a Wii for my 7 year old, actually the whole family. It has interactive games that encourage movement and activity, as well as balnace and breathing, etc.. Like bowling, golf, tennis, wii fit (exercise program that has running, yoga etc..
I would recommend just being selective on the games purchased.
In regards to the DS it is just a plain old video game.. If this is selected I would definitley monitor use...

35

I have a 5yr girl and a 6yr girl, they each have a DS. They can link them and play together. They are very active and they have not forgotten about playing out side, reading, coloring, painting, or skating. They stop on their own after 20 min. or so and move on to something else. Its my 15yr old step son that can play the WII all day if not watched. Which we bought for the whole family. The sports games like bowling we play together as a family. The DS's are great for trips and when I do my cardio class. There is a built in drawing and messaging program. It works up to twenty feet or so. Some games will link together with just one game card like Mario cart. He can play it with his cousins. You can also rent games at Blockbuster before you buy to see if he will like it. There are pluses and minuses, but if you go into it everyone knowing the rules and limits it goes much smoother. Or have earned time with reading or chores. Good luck.

36

Hi Amy, I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with having either of those, as long as you set limits. The DS can be interactive with other DS players. Most require you to have the same game and sometimes can get expensive. The WII is alot of fun for the whole family. They actually have many educational games for each unit. My kids, who are much older have them all. My niece and nephews have both. The DS you can take with you wherever you go. I think you will be fine in whatever decision you make. Good Luck

37

I got my 5 year old, 6 in February, a DS for Christmas. Well, technically "santa" got him one. But it's been ok so far as far as usage goes, no addictive problems. He still does other things, reads, draws, does the imaginitive play with his two younger brothers. It's also been a good barganing chip. He hates to get grounded from it, so it helps as far as ensuring good behavior in a nice restaurant, or just going grocery shopping when he's in his "wants to fight me on everything" moods. I definitely regulate the time he gets to play it. He gets 30-45 minutes when he gets home from school. Then he has to put it away and do other things, like drawing or reading, or just interacting with his little brothers. Plus it's nice in the car on long trips, and I have made sure to get several educational games as well as a couple just plain fun ones. We haven't had any problems so far.

38

It's a personal choice, but video games now are quite different than they were at first. They actually do encourage art, music, and adventurous play now. I'm not saying they are "Okay" now. That's up to you, but I think you'de be pleasantly surprised when you see your little ones learn something constuctive to encourage imagination and learning.

39

Follow your instincts and say no. I work for a school and I can tell you these young boys get addicted and their grades do decline rapidly. I dont know much about the WII, but if he is normally active he probably doesnt need it...

40

Hi Amy!

As the mother of 2 boys, I can honestly say that I prefer them playing the Wii or PS2 rather than the computer games. In today's world of technology, it's hard to grasp what is better for our children. Through "live & learn" experiences, it can defintely get carried away, however, I am the mother and always in charge. Monitoring them can vary depending on the day...........school night or summer, etc.... I truly see no harm at this point in my home.

I enjoy the Wii, personally, because it's more "family" oriented. Even as I type this to you, my 2 boys are playing together laughing :O) They are bowling, standing up off the couch and moving their bodies on a cold and windy day. Even though they are years apart, they can play together. The PS2 is easy for THEM, but not for me, so I can't play with them :O) That's the difference in my opinion.

If your mother is being so generous, I'd let her buy one for your son. Just have AA batteries on hand, and teach him the proper handling of Disc's right from the start. It will truly bring a whole new laughter into your home and will include a whole new style of family fun.

~Nicole