In our church we have a shower for each child that is born. I have had one for all 4 of my kids. It'a a great way to just get out and socialize! We typically wait until the baby is born. It's more fun with the baby! Also if they don't know what they are having makes it easier as well. Don't worry about time line either. We've done them a 1-2 months after the baby was born and it's always been great!
My twin sons are now 5 and will be nearly 6 when this baby is born. We weren't exactly planning on another baby so I had given away almost all of my baby things. We don't have a pack-n-play, high chair, infant car seat, or any baby clothes to name a few. I know my sister is planning another baby shower for me and most of my friends and family will be quite happy to come and bring a gift since they were or know someone who was the recipient of our generosity. I'm also hoping to get a lot of hand-me downs from many of those people since they have young babies with barely used stuff. So, I think there are definately reasons for a 2nd shower, it depends on the circumstances and the culture.
If she still has her stuff, I think a celebration is a much more appropriate 'party' to have after the baby is born. The guests will be more likely to want to come if they get to meet the newest addition.
I personally wouldn't want a shower in that situation. I think it might just be because it's out of the norm. If there were a five+ year difference or if you knew she was having the opposite sex or twins then I'd be ok with someone giving me another shower, but with my daughter being three, I'd still have everything I need for the most part. However, I think it would be nice to see how your friend would feel about a "shower" after the baby's born. My MIL's friend did that for me after my first one so that women from my MIL's Bible study who weren't included in the actual shower got to meet the baby. One of the women bought a small book shelf and they had all the ladies bring a book for the baby. Maybe do something like that after the baby. Or, if you prefer to do something before, I'd suggest a diaper shower because you know she's going to need those!
I agree with most of the ladies. Have a celebration, but setting up a registry and asking for gifts is kind of bad etiquette. If people happen to bring a gift, then so be it, but I don't think it's been long enough to ask for more.
Make sure you don't word the invitations with "shower" if it is indeed just a party to celebrate the impending arrival.
Go for it, Shannon! If they don't think it's "proper" to bring a gift then they don't have to bring one. How wonderful will it be for that second child to see the pictures of the event and know that people came to celebrate him/her just like they did his/her sister. You can't control what people think and if you think you'd like to celebrate this new baby, then don't let the fear of being "improper" stop you. Life really is too short. Have a blast! =)
I think its absolutely fine to have a second babyshower. I'm 5 months pregnant with my second child, and my first child is a beautiful 4 year old girl. None of my friends hesitated to say they were having a shower for me. And I find no wrong doing or tackyness in it either. I think every child deserves the same amount of celebration. They are all special in every way.
It is not proper and widely considered tacky to have a second shower unless the new baby is at least 5 to 7 years after the last. I know my work threw me a baby shower for my second baby and I was pretty uncomfortable about it. I felt like it was not necessary becuase I had just had a baby 2 years before and everything was still in good condition.
Assuming that your friend is looking forward to having a baby shower for her second child, I think is just great to do a baby shower. In the first place, I do not think is a matter of etiquette or being too demanding or tacky and bla, bla, bla...I think is a matter of showering your second child as well as your first one. The concept of the baby shower is the happiness of your dear friends in knowing the good news a new baby coming into the family. So, with all this being said, lets celebrate the second, third, fourth, fifth and so forth with a baby shower...and have fun...
I have two children and have NEVER had a baby shower thrown for me. Personally, a shower would have been so extremely helpful in my situation since my children are four years apart and opposite sexes. Some of the responses you received said that setting up a registry is tacky, but I set up a registry both times I was pregnant. It made it easier for everyone to know what I needed both times I was expecting; mainly because I lived out of state from my friends and family.
A good friend of mine has six children and someone has thrown her a shower with each one of her pregnancies. If you want to throw her a shower, than I say do it. If people don't think it's proper, than they can stay home. You're not panhandling for gifts on behalf of your friend, you're asking the important people in her life to share a very special moment in hers.
The only time I have even heard of a second baby shower is when the mother is experiencing a multiple birth for her second pregnancy.
I do not feel it is necessary to give a second shower. If people want to give her a present that is their choice. They should not feel obligated to give a gift at a second shower. Besides, how much does she really need for her second child? Other than bedding and clothing, I would assume she should have all what she needs from her first child.
Hi Shannon, it really is "not proper" to have a second shower so close to the first. If the gap was 5 yrs or more it would be cool. On the other hand you can have a celebration party and invite the family and friends. Gifts would be optional and totally not expected from anyone. You will also want to stay away from traditional shower games (eww) and decorations. Just have a great party to celebrate!! Have fun and think outside of the box!
I dont know who came up with those rules...Go for it and have ablst, there is abolutly nothing wrong with it. I hope i will have another one if i decide to have another baby. Not even so much for the presents, but for my friends and family to celebrate my happiness! I have a friend that has 4 kids and they are 2 years apart, and each time she had a baby shower. It was great!!!!!!
My friend has 2 little girls close together in age, but we still wanted to do something to celebrate the new baby just like we had the first. So her mom threw her a "sprinkle" with just a few of her closest family and friends (ie, no aunts you hardly talk to, only people who truly want to celebrate the baby and wont think you're "begging for gifts").
Everyone commented on what a great idea it was!
My SIL threw me one for our last son, most of our stuff was 5 years old. A lot of my family complained because it was not "proper" to do so.
I think instead of a "baby shower" have a "sprinkle" or a "pamper mommy" party? Instead of baby gifts, bring gifts for mom, or cassaroles for when the baby come home and mom is too tired to cook....
Like someone else said only invite those that are close and would want to celebrate.
Today, there are no "proper" way to do baby showers, birthday parties, weddings, etc.
Every child and mother deserves a celebration! Should it be as elaborate as the first? That's up to you. Mom may already have many of the items and clothes from her first child, so maybe a diaper baby shower will work. These are always fun! Mom can register for just the items she needs and that can be added to the invitation. No matter how the gifts are decided, fun games and tasty foods are always a hit. This is a time to celebrate the upcoming baby, whether it's the first or fifth! Each child is just as special. Do what you and your friend feel is right for her. I would certainly be sure to have the invitation emphasize that this is a celebration of a child. After all, what makes one child more important than other?
Karen B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
Shannon,
Wow I'm surprised at her friends reactions. I'm sure their stroller and car seats need replacing as well as other baby things needed. Diapers, diaper bag, maybe a double stroller now that she will have 2. Not only that but just because it's their second does not mean that baby does not mean as much as the first, or thirs, or forth. Each child is special and unique and should be celebrated.
Just my opion. I have 3 and each one is special and unique.Its nice to try to treat each child the same, or much as you can.
I think every baby deserves a shower. I think it is the old way of thinking that it is improper to have a shower for each child. My Mom didnt have a shower for me with my second becuase her theory was that if people are going to buy something for the baby they would even if we didnt have a shower. Needless to say no one bought us anything for him. which would have been fine but we had gotten rid of a lot of the babys stuff we had due to lack of storage space. Anyway, I say you should have it .
I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing another baby shower for your friend, however it is customary to only have the first. If she is in dire need of things then I would explain that to your friends and hope that they understand. I didn't have a second baby shower for my son even though the sex was different. My sister in law wanted to do it but as far as I have been accustomed to you don't do them. So I told her no but people sent things to me anyway for my son so maybe your friends can drop off what they want and leave it that way.
I just had my second baby and I knew about my shower (my mom never was good with secrets) none of my friends found it wrong or rude that we had one.
Each shower is a celebration of life. Why would we only give that to our firstborn?
Maybe you could make this a little more geared towards something like pampering Mom. Or I know someone who had a poker night but instead of money they used diapers.
Here is a great website, too.
http://www.bigdotofhappiness.com/
No, you are not wrong to celebrate this new life. However, My opinion (and it is just an opinion) is that having a "baby shower" inplies to guests that they are to buy presents. The expecting mother should already have most of the things she needs from her first child considering she is only three. You could hold a "celebration party" instead of a "shower" and specify in the invite "no gifts", or "only diapers/food/formula please" Calling it a "shower" will put people off as you have already witnessed. Good luck to you and your friend.