The Eight Friends Every New Mom Needs

My husband and I chose, for some inexplicable reason, to make our home a good six hours from our closest family members. It wasn’t until I had kids that I realized what a poorly thought-out decision that really was. I have been lucky enough, though, over the last five years to gather together a really spectacular mom community that is as close to family as anything can be. I believe there are certain types of mom friends that every new parent needs, and they fall roughly into the following eight groups.

Mom friend superstars include:

1. The “there-in-a-pinch” mom friend who will do an emergency baby suppository run when your little one is glued to the toilet, and your spouse is out of town, no questions asked (and knows enough to recommend suppositories in the first place).

2. The “exactly-your-level-of-crazy” mom friend – one that you can call and confess that you had cereal and wine for dinner, and that your Tupperware drawer is trying to kill you.

3. The “all-baby-all-the-time” mom friend who will engage enthusiastically in any detail of your baby’s development; including his bowel movements/brilliance and agree on their peculiarity/outstandingness, even though she has three equally peculiar and outstanding children of her own.

4. The “baby-doesn’t-break-her-stride” mom friend – in fact the opposite of number three; who will drag you out for margaritas and ban all talk about family members under the age of 21 for the evening.

5. The “laid-back-playdate” mom friend who agrees that baked goods and feet up on the coffee-table constitutes a much better playdate than the local screaming/rioting community-center activity.

6. The “motivated-playdate” mom friend who will drag your lazy-mom self to the science-museum/toddler music appreciation/pre-school roller rink class.

7. The “repository of all information” mom friend, who reads all the latest studies on childhood development (so you don’t have to), knows the best pre-school in your area, the most highly recommended potty-seat, and will teach you tips like using your empty egg cartons to hold poster paint, and how to make live action puppets out of discarded potato peels.

8. The “well-rounded” mom friend who will talk with you endlessly about just how you’re both going to lose those last few pregnancy pounds (even though you’re both much too deep to worry about appearances); and totally gets how constant repeats of Golden Girls and the occasional Jerseylicious episode are essential to your well-being (even though you’re both far too busy and intellectual for television).

You may be lucky enough to combine two or more types into one, all-star, stupendous mom-friend. I am lucky enough to have a 1-2-5-8 mom friend. Precious and rare. You know who you are.

Peryl Manning is a freelance writer and stay-at-home-mom. She juggles her boys, her writing and her volunteer work with varying degrees of success, and is convinced of only one certainty: Parenting is really, really challenging. Her blog, Parenting ad Absurdum, is featured in the Seattle Post Intelligencer.