Photo by: Ernst Vikne/Jim Sneddon

Your Kids and Facebook, MySpace and Twitter: What’s Responsible Online Behavior?

Photo by: Ernst Vikne/Jim Sneddon

Today, moms are faced with a new realm of parenting challenges that moms twenty – or even ten – years ago didn’t have to deal with. In addition to age-old responsibilities like teaching your children manners, monitoring their behavior, and encouraging them to pursue their dreams, there’s a recently added chapter to the unwritten parenting “guide,” and it’s called, “Raising Responsible Kids Online.”

It can be incredibly difficult to distinguish a clear line between what’s responsible and what’s irresponsible when it comes to your child and their online behavior, particularly with social media sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.

Is it responsible for a child to use Facebook? Until what age should parents monitor their child’s social media profile? Is it okay to post pictures of your child online?

Liberty Mutual recently surveyed American social media users, including moms, to find the answers to these questions and help spark a conversation about this very popular – and sometimes controversial – topic.

The Social Media and Personal Responsibility Survey was conducted as part of Liberty Mutual’s Responsibility Project, an online community that poses the question of what it means to “do the right thing” in everyday situations, and in this case, online.

The survey revealed that the vast majority (73 percent) of parents believe it’s acceptable for their child to have a Facebook or MySpace account. However, those same parents claim they will monitor their child’s social media profile until they are 18 years-old. Which essentially means, parents can add, “check daughter’s Facebook profile” to their ongoing list of to-do’s.

Interestingly enough, according to the survey, most parents have their own personal profile on these sites. Not only are parents monitoring their kids’ online behavior, they are using social media as a way to “connect” with their kids. A stunning 69 percent of parents said they are currently “friends” with their children on a social media site – likely as a way to interact with and/or monitor their children.

Additionally, Facebook is crammed with pictures of children of all ages, most of which were likely posted by parents. So, it may come as a shock that 42 percent of social media users believe it’s irresponsible to post pictures of children online.

Even more surprisingly – despite the large number of these currently floating around the internet, a shocking nine out of 10 parents said they have NEVER used social media on behalf of their child; this includes creating a baby profile page or “Tweeting” on behalf of a child. This discrepancy raises the question – are parents embarrassed to admit they’ve done this? Share your opinion here.

If your children are older and perhaps even entering the job market post-college, it may be helpful for them to know that more than half (52%) of the survey respondents found it completely acceptable to check a job candidate’s social media profile before hiring them.

Social Media in the Classroom and Teachers on Facebook

As the great Bob Dylan once sang, “The times they are a changing.” Actually, they’ve already changed. Children are completing curriculum on computers, learning how to research using Google and becoming best friends with kids they’ve only met virtually. That said, it’s not surprising that social media has permeated the American classroom.
The verdict is still out, however, on whether or not social media should permeate the American classroom, at least as it relates to teachers. Almost half (46 percent) of survey respondents said it’s irresponsible for a teacher to have a social media profile, while 43 percent claimed it’s completely acceptable.

How would you feel if your child came home and told you that their teacher “friended” them on Facebook? If your response is negative, you aren’t alone. The majority of respondents (81 percent) stated they believe it’s irresponsible for teachers to “friend” current students (ages 5-18) on Facebook.

Men vs. Women

In addition to questions about parenting and education, Liberty Mutual polled social media users’ opinions on relationships. The classic debate of “men vs. women” quickly became a theme stitched throughout the survey results.

Come to find out, men are not only more accepting of social media but they also use it more often than women. It appears that men find things like “friending” a boss or co-worker on Facebook more responsible than women (40 percent vs. 29 percent). Similarly, men (57 percent) are more likely than women (50 percent) to have more than one social media profile and use the accounts at least a few times a week. The only social media site that women seem to use more often than men is Facebook and even that is a close one (83 percent vs. 80 percent). Food for thought: Why is it that men turn to social media (more than women) for social interaction?

Your Part

As a woman, a mom, a co-worker, a wife – we want to hear your opinion. To join the conversation and find more survey results, please visit www.ResponsibilityProject.com, follow us on Twitter or visit our Facebook page.

Editor’s note This post was sponsored by Liberty Mutual’s Responsibility Project®.

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34 Comments

NONE of our children will be able to have a facebook, myspace or twitter until then no longer live under our roof. The only thing they need a computer for is research for school work, period. We may be strict, but I think more parents should be, there wouldn't be as many problems with kids these days if parents actually did their job.

I will not let my 11 year old 5th grader to have a Facebook account,because it is not allowed till he is 13 years old even though he is dying to have one and asks me weekly! There are many kids in my area that have requested me as a friend that lie on the birthday question to get around that and I refuse. I think that it is being two faced if I tell my kids to be honest and then allow them to lie just to get on FB. And also I would be a hypocrite if I friended those kids that have...

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I myself have a FB book account that I use to keep in touch with both local and distant friends and family, but I would be uncomfortable with my younger children using it. Our 17yr old daughter has a FB account and I am one of her friends. I have on occasion reminded her that her content was not appropriate, but for the most part she is very careful and responsible about what she posts...

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I had a Facebook account for about a year, and all was well until other of my friends (actual, live people I saw pretty often), decided to post photos of me from the past,(x-boyfriend, now I'm married), without my permission. Also some of these folks were pushy about posting photos of my 4 year old son, and quite arrogant and dismissive when I asked them not to...

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Our Priesthood leaders gave a talk about how to have the Internet in the home and make sure it is safe for the entire family. We have implimented this, all computers are in a family area, they're in the living room and it is open to the dining area and kitchen. Above the monitor is a Greg Olsen print of Christ in a garden area watching a sparrow. Also a picture of the family. The kids are never on the internet unless one of us is available to keep an eye on them...

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I set up my daughters (13) myspace and facebook using my maiden name, and a zipcode from the town I grew up in... This protects her from being searched for by name or location.
As for what she does while she is on there... no kids are allowed on my computer without an adult present and to ensure this, my computer entire computer is password protected and in my livingroom about 4 ft. from my tv and facing my couch. She is also on my friends list so I see all of her activity.....

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Great information in the article. Thanks!

Also, regarding the comment by ivyshihleung:

Woah...thank you for enlightening us parents about this! I had no idea that such pages existed on Facebook. I thought only MySpace was known for such disgusting postings and that Facebook was "clean" and "safe"...

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My problem is yes today your settings on facebook are "private" but websites change all the time and something could be altered months from now where private doesn't mean anything and you would have to be monitoring it to know that it has changed. I go by the rule that once it is on the internet I no longer have control over it (which I don't the web host does).

I have a FB account that is set to private & only allow my friends and family to see, not even friends of friends. I have pictures of my children, & I am ok with that. At first I was apprehensive about joining because I didn't know about private settings. I am a teacher (taking time off to raise my kids), I don't think it is anything wrong with having a FB account, but I don't like the Idea of becoming friends with a student...

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Personally I love FB. I have family and friends scattered across the country and it really helps us stay connected, plus we get to share pictures of our families and events. I keep my settings on private, so I don't worry too much. I am cautious, but like to believe that most people are there for the same reason I am. As for my daughter, when she gets a little older I will allow her an account with rules. She will be able to play games, talk to friends and post pictures with my permission...

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I have 4 children ranging from ages 12 to 6. My eldest joined FB without my knowledge by simply putting in a fake birthdate. FB clearly states that no one under 13 may have an account.There's a reason for that. Your account may be set to private, but YOUR friends may not be. I have seen many adults put explict postings on their FB which becomes accessible to my daughter when I become friends with her...

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My brother and sister-in-law allow their kids, ages 7 and 9, to have facebook pages. I think it is totally inappropriate. He friended my husband (I'm not on it) and he has taken some of the quizes. One of the quizes was whether or not I'm a freak. It had inappropriate sex questions. I don't know much about Facebook, but I do know there are a lot of inappropriate comments made by adults.

I have an 11 year old who created a FB profile with his mom's knowledge, not mine (we're divorced). I checked his profile out and sure enough, he had friends (adult relatives) who were posting adult conversations on their own walls that were ending up on my son's news feed home page. As soon as I found out of my son's profile, I reported it to FB and had the account deleted...

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I have two teens, one 15 and the other almost 14. We do not do facebook or myspace. Computer time for school and some emails already takes up a chunk of their day. One of my children has a blog due to his music composition which he'll post a few times a month (a creative outlet for him). Time is so precious and I wouldn't want them to loose their ability to be creative in other parts of their lives by adding more social networking online...

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Amber, it's too bad you feel that way about teachers and coaches. I would want my child to have more "friends" that were role models rather than authoritative figures. Of course Facebook friends are not always friends. My Great-Aunt is on Facebook and is my "friend" although that's not what I would ever consider her. However, having my role models as "friends" and my former students does make me think twice about what I post in my status bar...

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