My New Year Resolutions for 2017
It’s day 4 of the New Year, and I am reading all the blog posts about resolutions, “New Year, New Me” mantras and how to make goals. I already know I am heading into 2017 with the same worries and anxieties I had in 2016. Writing a goal on paper to check off at the end of the year isn’t going to change that. But if I am pressed to make a resolution, I can tell you that I resolve to be the same horrible mom I was in 2016.
I am happy to be the horrible mother my kids think I am. To them, I am horrible because I don’t let them eat junk food and give up on personal hygiene. I’m terrible because I say no to things like using their sister to climb on to get up to the hidden chocolate. I am also really, really horrible because I make my kids do things for themselves, even if it’s really, really hard. Like the day my daughter threw a bowl of food she didn’t like and it splattered across the entire kitchen. I handed her a towel and made her clean up every last drop. She cried and I yelled. It was just terrible of me.
My kids need me to be the naysayer and put the kibosh on their terrible ideas like when they decide to go on a shower strike or pull their mattress off the bed to launch their sister like a bowling ball into the wall or throw toys into the ceiling fan. They have tiny idiot minds right now, and it is my job to stop them from doing ridiculous things. They also need me to force feed them leafy greens and oranges so they don’t get scurvy. Because that’s what terrible moms do! And I am the worst!
But seriously, I did a lot of reflecting on everything I’ve learned in the last year including what makes me the worst mom on the planet. The most important thing I’ve learned is sometimes being a terrible mom makes me a great mom. As much as my kids hate the word NO! they need me to keep them safe. They need me to push them to try new things, or push them passed a fear to try something new. As horrible as I am, I am always the safe place my kids want to land when they need to. Whenever they are scared, or sad, or need a hand to hold they look toward their terrible mother who tells them no. No one will ever love them like I do.
So, welcome to 2017 where you’ll find the same old mom doing the same old terrible things! Wait, is it too late to throw in resolutions to find better hiding places for my chocolate and stronger wine? #newyeargoals
Roxanne Ferber is an overworked twin mom and freelance writer learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog The Whatever Mom. Here work has been featured on Mamapedia, Masshole Mommy and Hudson Valley Parent. You can find her on Facebook, chugging coffee, or folding laundry and not judging other parents.