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Motherhood Is Not About Whining and Wining

Photo by: iStock

There’s one thing I’ve never understood as a mom. Maybe I’m alone here, but I have a feeling I’m not. I’ve never understood this idea that you NEED wine to get through your day. As a mom, making mom friends has always seemed to center around wine. We often see posts like “Is it noon yet?” or attend girls’ nights out where we are expected to down glass after glass of wine.

I remember attending a painting night where the host asked for my bottle of wine. I remember saying I didn’t bring one, as I didn’t plan on drinking, and she just stared at me.

I mean, there are wine drinking festivals. Daytime wine drinking festivals for mothers. This has clearly gotten out of hand.

Perhaps you’re saying to yourself, “This girl doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” And maybe I don’t. I have never been a big drinker in the first place. But right now, 1 in 10 pregnant women are actively drinking, and 1 in 5 non-pregnant women say they’ve binged on alcohol in the last 30 days. This means they’ve consumed four or more drinks at one time.

So, maybe I do know what I am talking about. Mom wine culture is everywhere. And I have two big problems with it.

First of all, alcohol is a depressant. Personally, I struggled with absolutely awful postpartum depression. The last thing I needed was something to make me even more depressed. If a woman is one of the 11% to 20% of American women who struggle with postpartum depression, adding alcohol can create a very dangerous situation.

I also think that motherhood, especially new motherhood, can be a very isolating and lonely time. I think it’s a time when you’re questioning everything you ever knew (or thought you knew) and also figuring out who you are in this new role. It can be hard when you’re feeling pressured to drink or you’re worried that you’re not fitting in unless you’re drinking.

Alcoholism can sneak up on you. It really can. There are many signs of alcoholism you might not even realize. Are you spending a lot of money on alcohol? Are you getting anxious if you’re not drinking? Do you spend ALL DAY looking forward to having a drink? These things can happen, especially if you’re having drinks daily or drinking multiple times a day. If you’ve experienced these symptoms, maybe it’s time to be honest with yourself about whether it’s time to seek alcohol abuse treatment.

Instead of numbing ourselves to life, let’s meet together and talk about the things that really matter. Our lives, our kids. Let’s celebrate the joys and support each other on the hard days. We can do all of this without a drink in our hands. And besides, without a drink in your hand, you can fill it with even better things. Like tacos.

Although she’s not a big fan of mommy wine culture, Jodie Wilson does like many other things, including writing about running, health and wellness, and recovery. When she’s not working, she enjoys spending time with her family, camping, baking, and exploring pop culture.

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