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Why I Am Prone to Pity Parties

Photo by: iStock

Over the weekend I had a good ol’ pity party of three – Me, Myself and I were in the dumps about anything and everything. These pity parties creep up on me during the most unexpected moments – mainly when I have a relaxing non-scheduled weekend.

Perhaps, it’s because my mind is forced to relax and by having a non-crazy day, my mind is tempted to wander and worry about things that are WAY out of my control such as comparing myself to others (thanks Facebook), doubting what I am doing career and blog wise, allowing insecurities about relationships to fester, and battling the inevitable ‘Mom Guilt’.

Sundays can also trigger my pity parties. You think it would be the opposite since it’s the Lord’s day and a day of rest. Instead, I can spend some of the day depressed about how the weekend is almost already over and I haven’t gotten anything done off of my to-do list.

During these pity sessions, I am the worst version of myself. I analyze my past decisions, I doubt my present choices, and I am anxious and impulsive about my future. I have learned to not make any rash decisions during my pity party days and give it a few days before I pull the trigger.

Do I really want to quit that second blog I started? Do you really want to be a working mom? Why haven’t you reached your blog goals yet? Can’t success hit overnight like you see on TV and read about in books?

I have everything that I have ever wanted (the realistic wants anyways) and yet during these pity moments of self loathe I can take something beautiful and see the quite opposite; all my accomplishments fade away and all I see are things I haven’t done yet. Doubt and fear can blur our vision and force us to see things in a different light. Sometimes you don’t see any light and that is scary and down-right depressing.

I have always been a bit envious of people that weren’t worry-warts or life planners. There is something to be said for the old saying, “Ignorance is bliss”.

Sometimes I want to turn my mind OFF and simply enjoy the day for what it is even if it’s a non-eventful moment.

At what period in my life did I become wired to always be on the go, always have every piece of my life planned out? Why do I feel like I am not successful if I am not a busy body? Why shouldn’t I feel glorious after a long day of doing absolutely nothing and still wearing my pajamas?

Of course, as a parent we are always doing something, but what I mean keeping it simple during the day. Perhaps, playing with Legos all day long with my daughter instead of running all over town running errands or going to events I may feel obligated to go to instead of looking forward to attending. You get it. Who cares???

I guess what I am trying to say is that we all can have our ‘Pity Parties” once and awhile and not feel bad about it. It’s normal. They do pass, eventually. (Now, if they do not pass then consider seeking help or talking to someone). I had a pity post-partum party that lasted a good month. That was tough and no one in my house was happy, but the storm passed (with help) and now I am better for it.

Usually, these moments of doubt and insecurity appear one day and can fade away faster when you get good sleep. I can go to bed feeling like a failure and wake up the next morning ready to conquer the day ahead.

The good thing about any party is that eventually the guests need to go home and it’s time to go back to reality. Perhaps that is why pity parties should fade quickly. It’s time for ‘pity’ to go home and who the hell invited him anyway?

Cry it out, work it out, write down your frustrations or talk to someone and then move on! Of course this is not to diminish what it feels like to be clinically depressed; that is a more complicated matter which requires help. I’m talking those down days when you can’t quite get your thinking right.

Because the mind is a powerful thing. Don’t let it get the best of you when it comes to negative thinking – at least that is what I keep telling myself! Misery loves company so that is why pity stays around, but you are the landlord of your life so get the eviction notice ready. The sooner, the better so you can get back to being the awesome person YOU are!

Do you host your own pity parties? How do you cope with doubt? Do you think social media can trigger pity parties?

In between juggling a toddler, a teen stepson, a mellowed out husband and a crazy Labradoodle, Michelle also works full-time in event planning for a North Texas suburb. Read about family, food, fun and then some on her blog Mind of Meesh. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

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