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How to Get Rid of Mother's Day Guilt

Photo by: iStock

Cut a waffle into thirty-two bite sized pieces while guzzling down a mimosa. Wrap up brunch #1 so you can make it to brunch #2 in time. Call every single mother-like figure in your life to wish her a happy day. Spend the day with your kids, because God forbid you want to be away from your kids on Mother’s Day. End the day at yet another family gathering. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Well, this was what my Mother’s Day looked like for three years and I HATED it. So much so that I actually dreaded Mother’s Day. That is, until I realized that Mother’s Day is the one day a year when I actually get to be selfish and do exactly what I want. And so should you.

Just the other day, someone was deliberately trying to make me feel guilty about how I wanted to spend Mother’s Day. I was told that I was selfish and not thinking about others. But you know what I have to say about that? TOO DAMN BAD. Because we moms do just about everything, from bringing home the bacon to frying it up in a pan and than scrubbing all of those obnoxious grease stains off of the stovetop, and for one day a year (at the very least), that has to change.

I am writing this article to remind you, dear mama, that you can spend your day absolutely ANY WAY YOU PLEASE. Want to spend it in bed by yourself? Go for it! Prefer to have a boozy brunch and spend the rest of it at the spa? Enjoy! Planning a hike, run, bike ride, or something else outside? Soak up that sunshine! And if you are like me and want to spend some of your with your family but lots of it in bed watching romantic comedies and eating junk food, I raise my remote control to yours! Because there is no wrong way to spend Mother’s Day…except when you are following someone else’s predetermined plan for you.

Since we moms have become accustomed to taking care of everyone else instead of ourselves, I have a few quick tips on how to get rid of Mother’s Day Guilt. They are short and easy so you can spend more of your time doing whatever the heck you please:

o Explain your “dream Mother’s Day”…the more specific, the better. Your partner/husband/baby daddy isn’t a mind reader, so be sure to explain your hopes for the day. Simply reminding him to chill a bottle of champagne isn’t going to cut it. Tell him what you would like and that his ability to follow your hopes and goals is a gift in and of itself. Because seriously, it is.

o Acknowledge all of the moms in your life…but on another day. I have three different mother figures in my life, and it is absolutely impossible to see all of them in one day, as well as have a relaxing Mother’s Day. So we celebrate Mother’s Day with them individually…on random days. I mean, it doesn’t have to be the second Sunday in May in order to tell your mom how much you love her, right?!?

o Send a little love to your mom squad…over Mother’s Day weekend. I don’t know what I would do without the community of moms who have talked me through teething, tantrums, and then some. So I show them how much I appreciate them with a card, cup of coffee, or bouquet of flowers. But on Saturday. Or Friday. Even Thursday. That way their families can spoil them on Sunday, along with mine.

o Relax and let it go. So many people get all caught up in having the perfect social media post on holidays such as Mother’s Day. It’s so incredibly dumb, because as everyone knows, those photos are staged. Parenting and motherhood isn’t as “carefree” as it looks. Unplug for the day. You won’t regret it.

Amanda Simkin, a lifelong Chicagoan, created her blog ( to share how she celebrates motherhood in Chicago. She offers “insider’s guides” for both well-known and off-the-beaten-path family-friendly gems. Her fans include Red Tricycle Chicago and Chicago Parent Magazine. You can also follow Amanda on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram,

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