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Helping Your Tweens Make the Transition

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The transition from elementary to middle school is both exciting and anxiety provoking. These days many school districts do a nice job of preparing your tweens for the change in structure through school visits and orientation events. How can you as a parent help to ensure that the transition from the nurturing environment of elementary school to the “ready for business” atmosphere of middle school is a smooth one?

To begin with, it is important to highlight the differences and understand the other elements which affect your tween’s transition: in elementary school, there’s one main class with one teacher; a cubby hole or hook to keep belongings in class, teachers escort students to special events; steady development and growth through pre-puberty; consistent academic support; recommended homework-parent participation; and smaller schools size.

In middle school, on the other hand, there are individual classes for each subject; students are responsible for organization; belongings are kept in a locker; students are expected to make their own way to each class; they hit pre-puberty to puberty; increased focus on academics and independent work; increase in volume and level of difficulty with some parent support recommended; and a larger school.

With the differences identified, here are some ways you can help your tween make an optimal adjustment to his new environment:

1.) Ensure that your tween is as organized as can be. The right school supplies can do the trick. Work with her to label each subject folder and create notebook sections for each class. If organization does not come easily to your tween a color coding system can be quite helpful:.one color for each subject including a separate notebook and folder. These visual cues can do the trick for even the most disorganized tween.

2.) Do at least one school walk through with your tween prior to the first day of school. If your tween is particularly anxious about his ability to negotiate the building then a few trips may be helpful. If your tween has a friend or older sibling already in the school, ask him to be the tour guide.

3.) As puberty kicks in, your tween may be feeling a bit awkward due to changes in his/her body. The transition to a new and larger school may add to the discomfort. Positive reinforcement can go a long way now. Find simple ways to help build your tween’s confidence and self-esteem. Ask her to help you at home and be sure to compliment her when she does. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way.

4.) Encourage your tween to tackle his homework independently. Let him know that you are available to offer some guidance and support. If he is overwhelmed and frustrated by the work, encourage him to devise a plan to address this. For example, attend after school extra help. It is important to be aware that it is not uncommon for tweens to experience some achievement loss when transitioning from elementary school to middle school. Once your tween adjusts to her new environment and develops a study approach that works for her she should do just fine.

5.) Finally, middle school can be an exciting new experience. Encourage your tween to talk with you about her thoughts and expectations. This can not only be a great bonding experience, but an opportunity for your tween to talk out some of the stress often related to making that transition from elementary school to middle school. It’s hard to believe she is a big girl now!

Dr. Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder is a clinical psychologist specializing in work with teens and their parents. She is the co-author of Teenage as a Second Language A Parent’s Guide to Becoming Bilingual and creator of Talking Teenage. She is a columnist and contributor on teen issues and is regularly called upon by both national and international media outlets for consultation.

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