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Becoming a Stay at Home Mom: What You Need to Know

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Making the decision to become a stay at home mom after giving birth — or even months or years into motherhood — is any parent’s prerogative, but there are some things to consider before finalizing your decision. We’re not going to sugarcoat it, either. Being a stay at home mother can be downright exhausting and sometimes overwhelming! That said, if you’re mentally, emotionally, and physically prepped, it can be an extremely rewarding move.

Remain Balanced
“It may come as a surprise that some stay at home moms can’t find any balance,” said Lyss Stern, the CEO of, and author of Motherhood is a B#tch: 10 Steps to Regaining Your Sanity, Sexiness and Inner Diva. “It can be a struggle day in and day out to balance everything that needs to get done between taking care of the baby, the house, and everything else that needs to get done, including cooking and food shopping. You need to find the right ‘balance’ that works for you and try not to become overwhelmed with it all.”

Because there’s a propensity toward unbalance, it’s imperative that you actively think about ways to bring more balance to your life.

Plan “You Time”
When your world revolves around your sweet child and you seldom leave the house, it can be easy to lose sight of yourself. Your “you time” is crucial to your happiness.

“Let go of the mommy guilt and do something just for you each and every day,” advised Stern, who refers to this time as a mommy time out. “It’s important to find that time just for you — for at least ten minutes — especially when the baby is napping. Make time to take that much-needed shower, meditate for ten minutes, or go for a walk around the block!”

You can also work out times with your partner to get out of the house for a day, evening, or even an entire weekend. Maya Berger, a parenting expert and the author of In Pursuit of Change: The Postpartum Mom, added, “Definitely go once or twice weekly to yoga, meditation or some kind of relaxation therapy just to get more energy so you can be a better, more balanced mom.”

Make Time to Socialize
“Some stay at home moms say they feel lonely,” noted Stern. “It’s very important to get out and socialize with other new moms. You can go to the park, the local gym, or library and make mommy friends.”

When you live and work in the same place, you miss out on the camaraderie of a workplace environment. That means you have to go out of your way to find others who can relate, who you can vent with, and who you can get advice from. In addition to going out and finding moms to talk to, you can find online support groups on social media and internet forums dedicated to stay at home parents.

Communicate with Your Partner
“It is very important to discuss roles and expectations with the other parent before becoming a stay at home mom,” advised Stern. “Open communication is a must in regard to budgets, expectations, and chores. Talk about your responsibilities, and manage your goals and expectations. It’s also very important to write out a schedule so that both partners will know what to expect.”

On that note, it’s vital to the health of your relationship to keep the romance alive, as well. This becomes increasingly difficult once you’ve entered parenthood, as your mental and emotional focus shifts to this tiny bundle of joy. That shift is natural and OK, but at the same time both parents must purposefully direct their attention and love toward each other, as well.

“Take some time just for you and your partner,” advised Stern. “Find a babysitter or ask grandparents to help and go on a date. It doesn’t even have to be especially long date — two hours tops — but take some time to be alone with your partner.”

Let Go of the Word “Perfect”
Stern said to forget about getting everything right, and instead remind yourself that nobody is perfect. This is true no matter what your job is, but is especially important for those who melt personal life and work life as stay at home mothers. You won’t be the first or the last to make a mistake, and it’s ultimately how you recover, learn, and adapt that matters most.

Wendy Rose Gould is a writer based in Phoenix, Arizona. She covers women’s lifestyle topics for numerous digital publications, including InStyle, xoVain, Refinery29, Revelist, PopSugar and ModCloth. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram or at

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