Back to School, Special Needs Style

Our oldest daughter, Lissy is technically a special needs child. She has epilepsy, which has contributed to her learning delays and toe-walking (that lead to wearing braces for two years to teach her to walk flat on her foot, but didn’t really work).

So for three years now, Lissy has had an IEP (Individualized Education Program). I’ve posted before about her getting diagnosed but basically we have a family member who also happens to be a special education teacher who was brave enough to say when our daughter was two “Hey, you might want to get her screened, because there are services out there to help you” (I say brave because can you imagine trying to tell a parent there is something wrong with their child? Not easy).

We first had her screened in our old state and the local agency tested her but blew her off because… well, I’m not sure why. I have my theories why, but basically we were told “yes, there is something wrong with your child; no, we can’t/won’t help you”. Then we moved, to a new state and new school district.

This time I didn’t hesitate to fight for what I wanted. What our daughter needed. I asked to speak the person at the board of education who was in charge of special needs programs. She set me up with a psychiatrist who came and spent almost four hours evaluating Lissy. When Lissy was uncooperative she simply asked “Is this typical?”. Told yes, she made a note of it. Two weeks later, we got the results. Lissy was delayed, in some areas significantly delayed. This led to a year of therapy in-home from Early Choices. Then a year of pre-kindergarten where they continued to work with her in the areas she needed, including getting extra speech therapy, physical therapy(PT) and occupational therapy(OT). They were great about communicating with us what areas she needed more help on, and what we could do to help her at home (like extra time cutting and drawing basic shapes, two areas our daughter was behind on).

Last year she was “main-streamed” into a normal kindergarten class, but the IEP remained. Her teacher was trained in special education and she continued to receive outside OT and PT.

And now, as we enter first grade the IEP program continues. We actually first started talking about first grade the day after kindergarten graduation. That’s when I sat down with both her kindergarten and pre-k teachers, the school principal and her therapists to discuss how the year had gone, and what the goals for next year would be. They also told me some areas that she continues to struggle with so we could help her over the summer.

I am not ashamed to say I have a special needs child. That she is in a program at school to help her. I will tell anybody who asks, only because I remember almost five years ago when I was starting out on the journey how scary it was, how foreign. I remember being grateful we had family who knew the system and could tell us what our rights were, and more importantly, my daughter’s rights. The progress my daughter has made in three short years is astonishing. She is doing things I once wondered if she would ever do properly, including writing and speaking and even coloring in the lines. Simple things I think most parents take for granted, I am ever so grateful for.

To any mom who is wondering where to start the process, I say call your local Board of Education. Even if your child is too young for the school system (most start at age three), they can tell you who to contact and explain the process. And if you don’t get the help, or all of the help you think your child needs, question it. Ask for the child to be re-evaluated. Don’t be afraid to point out all your child’s flaws in addition to their achievements. If I never had, I would have deprived my daughter on an entire world of things she was missing.

Every single child has the right to be evaluated for an IEP in this country. It’s part of the No Child Left Behind Act. It’s their right as a citizen to receive help if they need it. So as a parent please don’t be afraid to say that your child (and you) needs help. I’m so thankful that the brave family member mentioned it to me, and that I did.

Because in my book, special needs = special indeed.

Jennifer Allynn is a mommy blogger who writes the blog The Wilder Ones. A stay at home mother of two, she blogs about her daily life raising two girls and the challenges life presents. You can also find her on twitter