Photo by: PNA

And I Held on Tight...

by Genny Heikka
Photo by: PNA

I stood there in my daughter’s fifth-grade classroom at open house night, looking at all the things she’s made throughout the year…

the life-sized human body, the history timelines, the intricate drawings of plant and animal cells…

and it hit me all over again how much older she’s getting.

Middle school, I thought, almost not believing it.

She’ll be in middle school next year.

Another parent who hadn’t seen my daughter in a while came up to us. “She’s gotten so tall,” she said.

I nodded. “I know.”

We passed other kids on the way out and I thought the same thing… they were all taller than I remembered. More mature, too.

It’s here, I realized.

She’s growing up.

It’s here.

We walked across the playground to leave the school. I watched my daughter as she ran ahead, and I thought…

I hope she knows, as she gets older, that she can come to me with anything.

My mind sped to the teenage years that are just around the corner…

I hope she stands up to peer pressure. And I hope she knows that, even when she makes mistakes—because we all do—I’ll still love her.

I thought about high school, and college, and the dreams my daughter has, wanting more than anything for her to achieve those dreams, wanting her to enjoy the journey along the way.

We left the playground and headed through the park toward our house. All around us, other families walked home too. Kids rode their bikes and played. Laughter filled the air.

“Come on, Mommy,” my daughter called, motioning for me to hurry. I jogged to catch up, still thinking…

Even if we hit bumps in the road as she gets older, I hope I can be patient. And fair.

I hope we always have a good relationship.

I hope…

And that’s when I felt something…

her hand—not tiny anymore like it used to be, but still small, still young—slipping into mine.

I looked at her and smiled.

She smiled back, unaware of the thoughts racing through my mind.

We crossed the street like that,

holding hands,

and when we got to the other side, she pulled me toward the sidewalk and squeezed my fingers.

I squeezed back

and I held on tight…

Genny Heikka is an author, blogger, book reviewer and coffee lover. Stop by her blog, My Cup 2 Yours and share a cup!

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49 Comments

So wonderfully written. I think about this often and my children will be going into 4th and 1st grade. The other day when my son (1st grader) climbed into my lap to snuggle I held him until he was ready to go. I have to remind myself often that those days will not last forever. Thank you for beautifully putting into words what so many of us feel too.

I so understand you. My 10 year old girl just finished 4th grade. These past 2 Summer months have been overwhelming and wonderful. I have noticed her have a growth spurt, lose 2 baby teeth :), stop playing with her dolls & play register, and 'like' a lil boy, heard her say "mommy, that singer is cute!!!" and so on...

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I think we think about how fast our little ones are growing up. This past week my step son went off to college. O my goodness that is a biggie. When I first started dating his father he was just going into middle school. My own son started 1st grade. We just have to hope that they remember the important things we taught them through out the years and keep them close no matter how far way life takes them.

Genny,

I had that same moment yesterday. Sitting in church, I glanced over and saw my little girl for the first time again, a beautiful profile, soft, dirty blond hair falling over her shoulders, slender fingers curled in her lap. I saw a young woman, who until that moment I didn't know she was. I reached over and held her hand. She turned to me, smiled and squeezed back.

I have a secret even she doesn't know. My eleven year old will soon not be a child...

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