A Mom of Girls: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
When I was younger, like most little girls, I daydreamed about my future life. I did not anticipate my wedding, but rather the perfect family that would come afterwards. My vision was very June Cleaver-esque. It involved a tall, dark, and handsome husband who worked a very regular 9-5 job every day and three children – two boys, and, finally, a girl who would be our little princess to spoil.
My life did not turn out quite like my vision.
My husband nails the handsome part of the equation, but he is an average height with red hair and freckles. His job is anything but regular. He travels around the country (sometimes around the world) for work and is gone overnight at least a couple times a week, usually. He has more frequent flyer miles than Ward Cleaver could have counted.
What about the kids? Well, our third one was indeed a girl; a true little princess who loves everything pink and sparkly. However, the other two are girls as well! Though they are all the same gender, they are different as night and day. The oldest is most often found in athletic shorts or yoga pants and a t-shirt. She wouldn’t be caught dead in anything pink or glittery. She is stoic and reticent. The middle one is a ball of energy, constantly in motion. She doesn’t care what she wears as long as it involves jeans in some manner and she would honestly forget her head occasionally if it wasn’t attached. As I said, the youngest is the princess whose philosophy is “the more pink and sparkles, the better!” The differences between the three of them are incredible.
My youngest is seven and I still get asked if we are going to try “one more time” to see if we can get that boy. The answer to that question is a very emphatic “NO!” Even though it is not what I forecast for my life, I have accepted my fate as a girl mom and accepted several realities of that title.
Another thing people often say to me when they find out I have three daughters is, “Wow! You are certainly going to be well taken care of when you get old!” I have no doubt that this is the truth. My girls already take care of me. They love to brush my hair, paint my nails, or help me choose an outfit. They can tell when I’m out of sorts and they respond by asking if they can help or just offering a hug. Girls in general just seem to be more natural nurturers. I am confident that, when the time comes to truly care for me and their dad, they will rise to the occasion without hesitation.
There is also a sense of camaraderie we have. I always tell them that I am their mother, not their friend. While I subscribe adamantly to that philosophy, there is just a connection we have as girls. It’s one of those intangible, indescribable things that you just feel and I feel it with them.
When they were babies, they were all bald. In fact, I could have them dressed in pink and ruffles and, inevitably, a little old lady would come up to me and say, “Oh, HE’s so HANDSOME!” I wanted to scream and I could not wait for their hair to grow. Now? OMG the hair!!!! We have enough hair products, curling irons, and hair ties in this house to stock a beauty salon. There is hair in the sinks, hair in the tubs, and hair in the trash cans. We cannot go for a cheap, barber shop clipper buzz. Our trips to the hair salon almost break the bank and my hairdresser loves us!!!
Right now, we really need to go fall shopping, too, but keeping these girls in clothes is a feat. With boys, I imagine, it’s not quite as tough. Their clothes are more versatile – khaki pants that can be worn to school or church. With girls – not so much. There are fancy dresses for church, casual dresses for school, shorts/skorts for P.E. day, and athletic clothes for soccer practice. Now, throw in each of their particular preferences and all the shoes to go with all those different outfits. It makes my head spin. Seriously.
Every parent dreads having “the talk” with their kids, but it is inevitable and necessary. With girls, however, there are two talks that must be had. There is first the menstruation talk and then, of course, the sex talk. Since they are girls and I’m a girl, my husband assumes that this is my territory. Two talks (X) Three girls = SIX super heavy and uncomfortable discussions for which I am primarily responsible.
Have you ever heard someone say, “Save the drama for your mama!”? Well, I’m officially begging you – PLEASE, DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TO MY DAUGHTERS!!! I am up to my eyeballs in drama. Boys fight with fists and feet. Girls fight with words and eye rolls. I am convinced the words and eyes cut far deeper than the fists. Plus, girls just tend to be more sensitive, so, when they are on the receiving end, they take it so much harder. Mine are not even teenagers yet and I swear the hormones are already flying around here. Throw in my own fluctuations and it can be a pretty volatile situation!
I’m sure the boy moms would have their own good, bad, and ugly lists. And, of course, there are the moms who have some of each. The truth is, we all have different family structures and we are all blessed (and cursed) in different ways. We simply cannot control the gender of the children we get and I, for one, wouldn’t want to. This house full of girls and a red-headed, traveling hubby may not be what I imagined so many years ago, but I am so incredibly grateful for every minute of it and I wouldn’t change a thing!
Lisa Witherspoon is a SAHM and the Director Of Household Operations in the ‘Spoon’ household. Fueled by coffee and chocolate, Lisa writes about the joys, frustrations, surprises, and chaos of motherhood on her blog, The Golden Spoons. She is also a contributing author to The Mother of All Meltdowns anthology. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.