All of my kids started out in the bassinet next to my bed. Then moved up to a pack n play when they got to big for the bassinet until about a year old then they went to the crib in their own room until they started crawling out the crib so they were moved to a matress on the floor. Then about 3 they were put in to the matress on the frame.
So I shared a room with all of them in the begining ( like your doing)... they moved to their own room.. but my youngest 2 ( 3 &4) who share a room have been coming into our room for the past year in the middle of the night and we sleep together until morning. ( co-sleep)
So while young I never co- slept with them... but now I am. Hopefully soon we will be breaking that habit also as I would love to stretch out in our king size bed instead of not being able to even roll over and sleep on the edge.
yes there is a difference in sharing a room vs co-sleeping with your child.
I've coslept with all my kids. For us, that means that babies sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad until they're big enough to move to their own bed. For us, that's been around two or three. We've never owned a crib.
Personally, I've never seen research that concludes that sleeping in a crib is safer than sleeping safely in bed with a parent. Babies die in beds, and babies die in cribs, too. I've never seen a study that really looked at where babies slept all the time and where their relative risk was lower.
We follow the guidelines for sharing sleep safely, and have never had an issue with it.
Good info on cosleeping safety:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/sids-latest-research-how-sleeping-your-baby-safe
I always think of co-sleeping as when people have kids in the bed with them. Room sharing has been done since the beginning of time in close living quarters, but co-sleeping is about "sleeping in bed together". I had my babies in a bassinet by my bed while nursing before they were old enough to sleep thru night and thus move to their rooms, but I never considered that officially co-sleeping. Watch out for language like "I don't know why other people ___when they could do what I'm doing which is safer and better" if you don't want to start brawls...it always comes off as judgmental :) Co-sleepers want to co sleep. That's why they don't do what you're doing.
Haven't read the other responses yet. I would agree with your definitions, but I will also say I find it nearly impossible not to co-sleep once I room share. I swear my babies are/were the lightest sleepers. I confess that I snore sometimes, as does dh, and he also tosses and turns. Right now my 5 year old is in the bed snori g loudly-/woke dh up, who went to another room to sleep. I'm stuck here with my 2 month old on my boob and I wnt to scream. Typically, it goes like this: because baby is so used to sleep nursing, he wont go to sleep any other way. And just like a paci, when he wakes, he cries because my boob is no longer in his mouth and he "needs" it to go back to sleep. I bring him in the bed to nurse but I am exhausted. So I fall asleep with him in the bed which means we are no longer room sharing with me in the bed and him in the co-sleeper. Whig is also a vicious cycle--when he's in the bed, it's like a 24 hour diner to him! So I can't seem to room share without co-sleeping--I'll just put it out there now, I hate co-sleeping/room sharing. As much as I don't want the baby in another room alone, I have three kids, no one naps except the baby, and I need my sleep. I used to think I was being selfish, until I realized that this all affects my daytime parenting in a negative way big time--when I don't get enough sleep, I lash out at my kids, have no patience, etc.
My definition of co-sleeping is having the baby/child in bed with mom & dad. Room sharing is a whole different thing. Personally I did not like co-sleeping. I did try it with my 1st baby though. But I tend to toss and turn a lot during the night and was always afraid of rolling over on her and was not getting a very sound sleep because of it. But my babies always slept in a bassinet or pack n play in our room until they were sleeping thru the night. Usually around 2 or 3 months old, then I moved them to their own rooms in a crib.
I really don't feel I have the right to say which is better. Whatever works for you, your DH and baby is fine with me. Since I'm not sleeping with you, it's none of my business! LOL
I bed share, co sleep. I think room sharing is sort of like co sleeping. But please don't call bed sharing dangerous or unnecessary. This is false. I co slept with all three of my babies and couldn't be happier with my decision. As I type this I have my almost 2 month old sleeping with cheek to my breast and I couldn't be happier or more secure. I don't drink and do drugs and I am not a person with sleep apnea so my awareness is where where most sober moms are..... That being said I would go as far to call a crib at the side of the bed "co sleeping" as long as the baby is in the too
Within earshot of mommy this would fit in my definition of the term.
I'm with you. I consider sharing a bed co-sleeping. I had my babies in my room in pack-n-plays until about 6 months of age. I never considered myself a co-sleeper.
I always had my kids near me. First, in a crib pushed to my side of the bed, then I pulled full size bed next to my side of the bed. My 5 y/o is in my bed now, I do not have to move him to his bed because my husband is traveling :) I cannot sleep if my child is not next to me. My older one started sleeping in his room after being about 7 y/o. That what works for me.
Amy - thank you for explaining nicely why her post was still judgemental despite her best intentions.
I coslept. Daughter was in my arms all night. Was it what I set out to do? No. Was it what I wanted to do? No. Would either of us have slept any other way? No.
So, no, people can't always "just do what you are doing." What you are doing clearly works for you. Great! I'm really happy that you figured out how to be the best parent to your child that you can be. But don't judge me for being the best parent to MY child that I can be.
Nearly two years ago, no co-sleeping = no sleeping for us. Not exactly healthy for mom or baby.
Also, depending on what baby is sleeping in, no, it's not just as easy to breastfeed - especially if you've had a c-section and a difficult recovery. Getting out of bed, bending down and lifting your child out of a bassinet or pack-n-play and then settling in somewhere is not just as easy as adjusting your arm or rolling over to get the other side.
And, just as an FYI about the safety - I've never gotten such poor sleep as I did co-sleeping since I didn't move until the baby wanted to and my arm fell asleep every night from her laying on it and I was 1/4 awake the whole night making sure I didn't roll onto her or lay my heavy arm across her chest ... but poor sleep was still better than no sleep.
I consider what you are doing as co-sleeping. I did the same thing, but I actually kept my kids in my room until I was done breast feeding. I did not ever fall asleep with them in my bed, but if that is the only way to get sleep, I would have considered it. I feel that whatever works for everyone in the house to get the sleep they need in a safe matter the best option for everyone. Me and my husband are very light sleepers, so while I never fell asleep with my child in my bed, I would have considered that if it would have been necessary to get sleep.