Moms,
I've got an independent 8-year-old that keeps asking if she can go for a bike ride around the neighborhood by herself (I know she does this in hopes that she'll bump into her friend, after she's called her house and no one answers). Anyway, I grew up in a rural area and it wasn't a big deal to ride bike alone--I always had siblings to go with me. Anyway, we live in the suburbs but near a busy street.....are you picking up on my nervousness? I really do not feel comfortable with her riding around by herself....my husband says that I need to relax. I just can't....there are multiple safety issues involved (she's a bit of a daydreamer and not yet street smart)....Anyway, when have you let your kids ride their bikes around the neighborhood alone (if at all)?
My son is 7. he is not very interested in bike riding BUT recently, his buddy, who is 8 yrs old, rode over to our house on his bike to play. It was his first time doing that.
We live out in the country on a road that people often drive fast...so I'm not sure at what age I'd allow my kids to ride alone either.
In town or a subdivision, I'd be just as nervous. But I think I err on the side of 'nervous nelly' over anything else. I'd be thinking of the what ifs all the time. I'd say between 8-10 SEEMS old enough but I think it depends on where you live. I have a friend who's daughter is 9 and although they live in a small town that not much happens, she still is not allowed to ride out of her mother's sight.
Maybe you could allow her to ride with friends first then alone when she's alittle older?
My DD is not old enough to ride a bike yet; however, my neighbor across the street lets her son who is 5 ride alone around the neighborhood. Personally, I think that's too young, but we do live in a cul-de-sac and the main street isn't terribly busy. I am with you though, I think you are right in worrying and being concerned about her safety. Maybe just set up a boundary for her. She's allowed to go up to a certain point but no farther. Hope that helps a little.
You never know what can happen an 8 year old should ALWAYS have a buddy! To many wacko's out there, better be safe than sorry.
When they're 18! LOL Yikes....this scares the heck outta me! It was just so different when we were little, ya know. Now-a-days things are just too scary. So many kidnappings and abductions. I honestly don't know when or if my hubby and I will allow ours to roam free. We feel like we live in a very safe area, but still.......it's just so scary.
Jennifer,
Here is my story. My children are almost 12, 10 and 8. Two boys and a girl. Still at this age they are not allowed to ride their bike on the streets by themselves. Just about 3 weeks ago, a friend of my oldest came on his bike and asked if he (my son) could go with him to a church that is about 4 blocks away from my house. I thought I was going to pass out!!!! I took a deep breath and said okay!!! I know that I have to let him go, but our street is also very busy. Since I knew he was going with a friend from school and a friend of his friend I told him it was okay. You don't know how I suffered, but girl I prayed, and prayed and prayed!!! Of course he got home fine after about 45 minutes or so.
But I would not let them ride around the neighborhood alone! They did yesterday but it was with my mother who was walking our dog.
Call me over protective, but now a days you don't even know who your neighbors are! So, I don't let them. I think it's a personal decision. Pray before you do anything else. If you know all your neighbors around the block and you feel it's okay, then have her ride on the sidewalk instead of the streets. That's what my kids do. They are not allowed to go on the streets.
Blessings
no way, I am way too paranoid with all those kidnappings you see on Nancy Grace. NO way, too many freaks out there.....
Of course she's ready! When they start begging for independence, it's time to loosen the apron strings and give it to them! I'll vote with your DH on this one.
And to help calm your fears about how much safer we are today over the 70s and 80s you need to read "Free Range Kids, how to raise safe, self reliant kids without going nuts with worry." by Lenore Skenazy, it should be at your local library. Statistically crimes in ALL categories is down. Also, anecdotally, kids will pay A LOT more attention to their surrounding if you're not there to do it for 'em. GL!!!
ps, my DD is 5 and she's been around the block by herself already. Well, it's more of a horseshoe and she loved it!
It is hard to let them grow up and go out on their own. At 8 he is probably ready, but you never will be! LOL.
One thing our daughter learned at a self defense class for young kids was, if someone tries to grab you and you are on your bike or with your bike, totally grab the bike with your arms and legs and start screaming, "I do not know you" over and over again. The person will not be able to place you in a vehicle if you are attached to the bike.
That said. go over the rules. Ask her what do you do if? questions. Let her know your concerns. 'I am worried, because I do not feel like you pay enough attention to what is going on around you on the bike". "What are you going to do?" Then listen to her answers. Repeat them to her, so you can verify she is taking this seriously..
Make sure she has a watch and have her come home and check back with you at an agreed time. If she is good about all of this, you can increase the time later. Of course if she is going to someones home she should call when she arrives and call before she is on her way home.
A graphic example one of our neighbors did at a meeting with the city about the speeding on our street was to show a video of a melon being run over by a speeding car that could not slow down in time. It reminded all of us how a car can be deadly weapon when it is speeding.. Maybe you may want to give her a visual? You do not want to totally freak her out..
My kids are 11, 9 and 8 and they aren't allowed to ride alone on the road. We live in the country, so we don't get a whole lot of traffic, but when cars come down the road, they are FLYING! There's no way my kids could get out of the way if someone wasn't paying attention and veered over to the shoulder. In fact, I was out walking with my baby and dogs last week when a van nearly hit us. The driver was obviously distracted and swerved at the last minute. With all the drivers talking/texting or otherwise distracted, I would also be a nervous wreck! Your question makes me stop to think about when I'd be allowing bike riding alone.........and I'm thinking they'd have their license first! LOL! Your daughter won't like your decision to delay the independent bike riding, but it will keep her safe!
Follow her on your bike at a safe distance and watch without guiding. If she shows you she can make it around the block safely on at least 5 trips (or pick your favorite number between 1 and ?), go ahead and loosen the reins a little. Kids do have their own instincts for self-preservation that we sometimes forget about as parents, but on the other hand, sometimes it's amazing the things they will try.
My daughter just turned 9 and she is only allowed to ride her bike around the block. She knows that she has to stay on the sidewalks at all times. Sometimes she will stop and play at the school playground(right across from us), but she is learning that if she does not ask she gets grounded from her bike. She has always tested her ground, but is quickly learning that mom WILL NOT step down on this rule.
How busy is the street you are referring to? If it is busy like a main street, then I would not allow her to ride alone. Our neighborhood street gets kinda busy, but there are sidewalks. I hope this helps, but remember to always follow your mommy intuition that God gave us! Best of Luck & God Bless
I personally think 8 is a little young, but only you know for sure. When my kids starting riding around along, they were about 10. We starting with trips around the block where there were no street crossings involved. Then we moved to destination trips - they would ride their bike to a single destination and I would call the mom in advance and then she would confirm arrival - same on the way home. After that, it was timed trips starting at 30 minutes and moving up. Failure to comply meant starting all the way back at the beginning.
We live in a small town, but near a major road that has direct access into a neighboring state. The kids are allowed to ride "in town" but have to stay 2 blocks away from 169 (they are not allowed near it - neither are they allowed to cross it for any reason). My theory is that if they were picked up on 169, a person could get out of the state in about 5 minutes. Plus, alot of out of towners travel that road.
Good luck no matter what you decide :)
I don't yet have a child who is 8, but I agree that you need to "test" her a bit to see if you can trust her. I think it's fair to ask her to pass your test before she gets to go anywhere alone...I'd start off with riding TO her friends house, then calling when she gets there. Then maybe some "free time" to ride around the block WITH her friend, then maybe 15 minutes of alone time, but then she has to "check in" with you before the 15 minutes is up.
I think "baby steps" are important for both of you to introduce your daughter to some freedom while ensuring that she can behave.
Granted we grew up in a great neighborhood, we WERE NOT allowed to go anywhere without someone else with us. When we could go places on our own was around 12-13 years old.
I remember being in the 2nd grade and waiting with my friends after school and someone drove up asking questions about the school. He had his pants down to his knees!!! I held my friends hand and we walked farther away from the car. i told my mom and called she called the police. VERY SCARY!!! Too many predators out there and I will be one of those parents who will not let my children out of my sight until I know in my gut they will be okay.
Your husband must be thinking about his childhood and not realize how things were safer back then. I'd say she's too young, and by what you're saying about her, you don't sound too confident yet. If she wants to go around the block take a walk with her (you or your husband or both). It'll be nice to get out of the house and stretch your legs and breath fresh air.
I am more of a worrier. I would not let my 8 year old ride her bike in the neighborhood alone. My concern is not with her, but with the others that are out there. I know we can not raise our children in fear but I would rather error on the side of caution. Maybe you could walk with her as she rides ahead of you far enough to give a feeling of independence but close enough that you can always have her within eye and ear shot.
Just my thought.
i don't think i'd ever let my kids ride alone, not just crazy drivers, but more so kidnappers, pedophiles, you get my grip. if i were you, i'd get a bike and go on rides with her and if she gets invited in, you let her go with the deal that she has to call you to come get her.
My daughter is almost 8 - like another poster said I'm not so much worried about traffic...I trust my daughter to look for cars, stay on the sidewalk, etc. But there are soooooooooo many kids getting kidnapped! No way, I don't know when she'll be allowed to ride alone - maybe around age 12. I don't know. So scary.
My girls aren't quite that old yet, but society is actually safer than it was when we were young, we just have more info now and are so overprotective. Most kidnappings are done by a family member... not as common as it sounds.
anyway, you could always let her try it one time and see how it goes. I know when I was 8 i was running all around the neighborhood. I rode my bike to school with my sister in 1st grade!!!!! I don't know how our parents were able to let us do that without worrying, but I think these days we as parents take it too far to the other extreme. Kids need to have a little responsibility! just my opinion!!! :-)