I had an unmedicated birth. It was really important to me for two reasons: chances are that I will only have one child and I wanted to experience the whole thing consciously. I mean everything, the pain, the hormones, beling able to trust my body and let nature do it's thing. I had a great experience that was truly life altering for me and has greatly improved my confidence and how I see myself.
I do believe that giving birth is one of life's big transformative experiences and going through this experience without taking away the painful part and without subduing yourself to medical staff (who when you have an epi have to tell youm for the most part, when and how to sit, lie, push etc.) does in my opinion make a difference. So yes, I believe going through childbirth fully aware and giving birth out of my own power did make me more of a woman.
The other reason was that I do not trust the medical establishment. Only very few hospitals and care providers practice evidence based medicine. Most of them practice "cover my own ass" medicine that makes them more likely to send their patients down a path of unnecessary, unwanted, and sometimes dangerous interventions. Once you have that epidural, you are POWERLESS! You cannot walk, you cannot properly move by yourself and you are at the mercy of you doctor.
Many women are VERY happy to relinquish both their power and their responsibility to the hand of their doctor. So it really depends on what kind of personality/lifestyle you have, how much you trust your doctor and what you want for yourself and your child. No one way is worse, just different.
I was very happy with my experience.
Here's the deal: no matter how you give birth, short of being totally knocked out from the first stages of labor to the week or so after (or longer), IT HURTS.
Pilots have a saying that any landing you can walk away from is a "good landing"... my OB told me that when I had to have an emergency C-section. And she was RIGHT. By the way, after the epidural. surgery, etc, my daughter still scored 9s. My other kids did, too. No difference.
Do what feels right for you, but don't imagine you can control all the pain with meds or even breathing or massage, etc. Remind yourself often that your BODY knows how to do this, even if your brain doesn't yet, and if you just go with it, you can let your body do its job and have a healthy baby! Good luck!
One more thing: I know you didn't ask for opinions about what YOU should do, just an explanation of why some women think they know better, are stronger, whatever. Guess what? It only gets worse from here: every parent knows "better" than you about how to raise YOUR CHILD! You might as well learn now to ignore the do-gooders, nags and negative neds, and just do what you know is right for your own family! :-)
I've never understood this either. I call it women who think they've earned their "VAG BADGE"... Holier than thou birth Nazi's. What's really funny is when women like this don't even breast feed... or so worried about "Natural" but they get their son circumcised. Because formula and cutting pieces off a boys penis are really "natural" too... right? (sarcasm) Anyway!
My Mother is one of these women. When she had her first child in the 60s the medications they gave her knocked her out so bad she woke up and didn't remember giving birth. My Dad said she was so out of it she reached down, touched herself and said "Ohh its a girl." Since then she had three more kids without an pain medication. She seems to believe medication STILL works this way and considers anything with medication less of a birth. I think that's where some of this ignorance comes from. People who don't seem to understand current epidurals DO NOT drug you out. You are fully aware of your surroundings. You are lucid. You remember everything. Most cases feel pressure, others still feel pain.
I've had three kids. My first the epidural did not work. They tried three times. I was induced which has some of the most powerful contractions you can have. My second was here in two pushes. My third child was a breech vaginal birth. My epidural had worn off but there wasn't time to waste.. My point is - I would have taken pain relief. Just because I did without doesn't make me feel like I have something to lord over other women, or that they are any more or less. I'm pregnant again, and I've considered with this last one just not bothering even trying with it... but really that is no ones business but your own.
I think they are just making conversation. Also, some people mean vaginally when they say naturally.
As someone who had natural births my reasons for choosing that were to avoid the side effects of medications and the risks that are associated with them. I felt like I made an effort during pregnancy to eat well, take care of my body and avoid medication and that was something I wanted to continue throughout my labor. Also, the idea of not having the ability to control my legs and bladder was majorly bothersome to me! Natural birth isn't for everyone and it is painful for sure. Every woman has the right to choose what is best for them, the key is to be aware of the risks and benefits of your choices for you and baby and go from there.
By the way I also get cavities filled without pain meds- it doesn't hurt that bad and you don't have to deal with a numb mouth all day!
That's a good honest question :)
I had one with the epidural, then two more each without (water births). My epidural birth was not what I wanted, so I opted to try it different the next two times. I preferred to go "natural" but all 3 were vaginal, and I was pretty proud of myself each time for just getting them out!
For me, the biggest thing was feeling out of control with the epidural. I am someone who likes to be in control of what's happening to me, and when I got the epidural it led to pitocin, and many more interventions (and nearly a C-Section. Thankfully I had a good nurse who figured out that I was dehydrated). Anyway, I didn't like all the people in the delivery room doc, nurses (3), med students (3), epidural man and his student. Seriuosly, there were 10 people in the room when my first was born and I felt completely out of control of the situation.
With my next two, by limiting the things I had going on (no drugs, no Doc - just the midwife and nurse) it was a calmer situation, and I was able to focus and relax and concentrate much better. Yes it hurt without the epidural (my first was totally pain free - but recovery was much worse). But by a day or two later, it was totally gone and I felt great. It took my 10 days to feel better after the first one.
It's your baby, your body, you do what you want. If you trust your doc., and your labor goes smoothly, an epidural can be a good tool.
Congratulations on your baby!
Jess
It takes roughly six weeks for the epidural drugs to leave a baby's system. So, yeah, to me it was important to have a drug free, intervention free birth eg "natural". But that's me, I also avoided alcohol, ultrasounds and drugs because it was important to me to have a drug free child. Gl you you in your decision.
I had epidurals with both of my kids because they were both induced. My daughter was over a week late and they didn't want her to get too big. She was also having some issues with her heart rate, so they induced. I was a little upset with myself that I let them talk me into inducing my son. They did it a week early (under the guise, that again, he was getting too big) and I feel like I was robbed a little of that feeling of "going into labor" on my own. But, the bottom line is that I had 2 healthy children and I was able to labor with my 2nd until the pain just got to be too intense from the pitocin. I'm not sure why people have to be so judgemental about motherhood, especially birth and breastfeeding. I fully believe that breastfeeding is the best thing for a baby and I nursed both of my kids for 10 months each (they both self weaned around this time), but I don't judge women who decide not to for whatever reason. I would try to encourage them through the tough parts, but if they don't want to nurse, who am I to say that their kids will suffer for it? Formula is a perfectly fine option as well. I was raised on formula and I'm still here to talk about it!
What you have to remember is that everyone has their belief system and you just have to be able to let it slide when people become belligerent about something they believe strongly in, but that you disagree with. You do what you are comfortable with for the birth of your child and don't let anyone discourage you! I decided to steer clear of the narcotics in the IV because I felt that it had the potential for more impact on the baby. The epidural didn't cause any issues with the baby (excessive drowsiness, etc). I did some research ahead of time and found it to be an acceptably safe option for me and my children. So, don't let anyone guilt you into doing anything you don't want to. It's YOUR decision and yours alone (okay, you might want to see what hubby has to say about it, but ultimately, he isn't the one pushing that thing out!). Best of luck to you!
Here's my opinion. Pain=Bad. Epidural=Good :-)
The biggest benefit from natural childbirth is being able to say to your 20-something child, "I went through 20 hours of labor and suffered without drugs, so you can...[insert mother's worst nightmare here]!
Whatever. Let people make conversation. All childbirth HURTS. All childbirth has risks. Deliver. Have your story. When you are able to get a good night's sleep (about one year from now), you'll be able to tune out some of the more mindless comments.
I loved my epidural. Plain and simple. I was in true labor for 4 days so by the time I was accepted into the hospital I was done and ready to be "drugged up". The two downsides of it were that if it moved you almost instantly felt every single contraction. I'm sure I could even feel my toe nails growing. But once they got it put back in I was fine and dandy. My friends that came and visited me (who haven't had babies yet) were going, "we'll if labor looks that good, I want to be pregnant." They couldn't believe how relaxed and chatty I was. About 2 hours before I had to start pushing, I got sleepy, but I'm guessing it's because I got no sleep for 2 days. The night before I woke up every 8-10 minutes because of the contractions were so bad. I had to scream into my pillow to make sure I didn't wake up the rest of the house.
The second thing is you can still feel where they put the needle, even now and it's been 6 months. The first week it's super sore, but so is everything else so what is one more thing?
Next baby I have I'm going to try and do a natural, but I wont I'll gladly accept an epidural if it get's to bad. If you do decide to go natural prep yourself. I thought I'd be fine being a theatre major and knowing every single breathing exercise and technique out there. Oh no. I want to try hypnobirthing. I hear it's really a great way to mentally block out the pain, but yet still enjoy the birth. Anywho, it's your decision, not anyone elses and your the one pushing the bowling ball out your va-jay-jay. That's how I see it.
I completely agree with Julie B. And as my doctor said to me...there will not be medals given out to those who deliver without having a epidural. Congratulations to those who do it without an epidural because they insisted on having a "natural" birth. I had my first without an epidural (not by choice) and it was an absolutely miserable experience and I pray that I never have to go through that again. My next two births were far more memorable because I had pain control. Bottom line....I have three beautiful children, and it doesn't matter how they got here!
Great question and some AWESOME answers! I loved the response with the airplane landing analogy. Fantastic!
I was a "natural nazi" before I had my son. I had my birth plan prepared, my distrust of doctors firmly in place, loudly declared that I was NOT having a c-section or episiotomy and GOD FORBID that I would have any pain meds.
Well, thanks to my hue and cry against the establishment, my son almost died from the most traumatic birth my doctor had ever been a part of. I pushed him out after 5 hours and then they rushed to get him breathing. I finally had an intrathecal and nubain because I was passing out from 2 days of hard labor. It all wore off about 12 hours before I started pushing but I was so happy to see the anesthesiologist that I told him he was beautiful. :)
I CANNOT fault my doctor. My own foolishness put my son at risk. Go figure that I planned on having meds with my second and didn't need them!
Mama, you are a hero no matter what the circumstances of the birth! Don't let anyone make you feel like less of a woman or less of a mama! You will know what is right for you.
Take care!
OOPS! I forgot the whole point of my story is that I WISH I had gotten a c-section so my son didn't have to nearly die. I am so thankful he is alive and THAT is all that matters!
I had a natural birth and it did nothing but hurt me lots. I am not into pain so the natural birth experience was not by choice. I was signed up and ready for an epidural last time and then the doctor found out I had to have a C section. I am sure that when the baby is 19 they won't look at you and say, "Mom, I am so glad that you chose natural child birth with me because I feel so much better!" No one really cares how you got the baby here just that you did.
Isn't it funny that people ask this question about childbirth but not about dental work? And men don't ask it at all. "Hey Ralph, are you going to have that filling replaced without novicaine? That's what real men do, and what's more, it's a really fulfilling experience!"
What shall we call it, mamachisma?
We can have these debates about "how much pain is the right amount" because we have been able to forget how dangerous delivering babies was historically, and still is in places where care is not so good. Instead of having to deal with the big picture, we get all caught up in details which would have seemed absurd 100 years ago (and still are, in parts of the 3rd world.)
Labor varies dramatically from woman to woman and even between pregnancies for the same woman. Nobody can tell you whether it's going to hurt a little or a lot. There are risks with an epidural, but they pale compared to the more general risks associated with delivery in general such as eclampsia and abruption. The decision to choose whether or not to get a painkiller is really pretty trivial in the big picture -- more important than what PJ's to wear, but less important that deciding whether to have a child in the first place, or whether an emergency C-section will be required. Those decisions have bearing on the outcome, whereas the painkillers are just a part of the process.
I wish for you a healthy and beautiful baby, served up any way you like.
Cheers
K
do the best you can and trust your instincts. My plan was lets see how it goes. I was induced and once labor started I lasted 6 hours, then I had pain meds. After about 9 hours my new night nurse thought I had too many meds and cut them off. I then had 5 hours of hell followed by a c section.
My advice is experience as much as the birth as you can handle, maybe it will be the whole thing- maybe it won't. It will be your experience, maybe your baby will be born in 5 hours maybe 24 who knows? You don't so how can you plan? Just plan on doing the best you can. My son oldest is 2 1/2- I had an epidural, it did not alter him mentally or physically, he can say his alphabet and count to 10 at 30 months- and I did not breast feed. But I do LOVE him and spend time with him and play with him and talk to him.
Don't over think it- you'll be great.
I have to say, I feel the exact way you do. But, even with a c-section, it doesn't make you less of a woman or mother. I delivered my twins via a scheduled c-section. I even got the responses, "Your doctor isn't going to let you try to deliver them naturally?!" Well, my babies weighed 8 lbs, 7 oz and 7 lbs, 13 oz. I'm sorry, but when you've decided to push TWO babies out that are above average size, then you can talk to me about "natural" childbirth.
However your baby (or babies) comes into this world is a miracle.
Halleluiah sister.. labor hurts.. no doubt about.. they say it is like menstrula cramps.. but no cramps I have ever had inmy life..
I had 2 kids and 2 epidurals.. the epidural take the pain away and the experience ismuch more pleasant..I would never congratulate someone who had a tooth pulled or a tonsilectomy with no drugs.. it is not a badge of courage of how much pain you can take... with or without drugs you just want a healthy baby..
Welcome to parenthood! There are always people who will judge you and your decisions. Some will tell you right to your face that they think your choices are poor, others will tell other people behind your back. Try to grow a thick skin and remember that you're doing whatever you feel is right for your child/family/self. (Mine is usually in that order.)
Talk to your doctor and see what the possible consequences are to natural vs. medication. Then make a decision that's best for you and your child.
And remember never to say NEVER! It's hard to tell what you'd do if you were in someone else's shoes!
Do whatever you feel is best! I have friends who have had all natural no pain meds, And I have friends, and myself included, that had it "natural" with pain meds. If this is your 1st, which I' guessing it is, IT WILL HURT! BADLY! lol. with my 1st, I planned on having an epidural the entire pregnancy, then whem my labor came on everything was going so fast and it was easy and wasn't hurting... until about 15 hours into labor... Then I was crying and curled in a ball and got the Ep. So, After that, there was no question in my mind whether I was going to get it or not with my other 2 kids.
At the end of the day, It is YOUR body and Your baby... You need to do what you feel is right for you. You should try to choose a path though before you go into labor. Sometimes women say, "we'll see how it goes" and by the time they want the epidural it is too late to get one.
I got that question a lot when I was pregnant too. Most were really asking if I was delivering vaginally or by C-Section but felt awkward about saying the v-word. So, I would turn the question around and ask them "are you asking if I'm going to have a C-Section"? Usually their answer was yes, and my easy answer was, then, yes, I am delivering naturally. I also chose to have an epidural, being highly allergic to pain, but the beauty of this whole thing is that every mom gets to choose for themselves.