My five-year-old is asking Santa for only one gift this year, a Nintendo DS (handheld game system). Although she really wants this gift and has been asking for it for half a year now, I don't think it's appropriate for her (mostly because of the price). However, when I try to tell her I don't know if Santa can bring her the gift I don't know to phrase it. How have you been able to handle this issue when your children did not get the gifts that they asked Santa to bring?
Thanks in advance!
Santa thought you might like this instead....
I always tell my kids to write at LEAST 10 things they want, that way they can't be completely disappointed. If she gets 3 things but not the DS you can make a big deal about what she DID get. IMO life is about appreciating what you get not what you don't get...hard lesson for kids but one that needs to be learned early.
i like the idea of asking santa for several things. good luck! at first i didn't even know what a DS was, but googled it. we don't have video games here, so i'm out of touch.
I would just tell her that just because she asks for something does not mean she will get it. She's old enough to understand that we don't always get what we ask for. I would try to encourage her to come up with other things that she wants and to not "put all her eggs in one basket". You could also go the route or telling her that you don't think she should ask Santa for that item because you don't feel she's old enough for it yet.
I think it's best to be honest with her about what you think about the game. If you don't think it's appropriate for her, tell her that it's something that she needs to wait a couple of years until Santa can bring it to her because she isn't ready for it yet. She may continue to want it and you'll need to be ready to eventually get it for her. On the other hand, with the fast pace of technology, by the time you might be ready for her to have it, something else might be the popular item. Personally, having seen some of the items available, I think the Wii is the best investment in gaming I've seen. From my limited experience with it, Wii does almost anything the other game programs do, but does it better, has more options and causes a person to be more active rather than just sitting in front of a screen.
I remember I asked santa for a roller racer four years in a row and never got one. When I lamented "why!?!" my mother said, "perhaps santa only had a limited number of those toys and he gave them to children who were less fortunate than you. You can ask again next year and see if he brings it then..."
I was pouty for a while but couldn't argue with the ultimate decision of the most generous man in the universe. And one year I finally got my racer. Of course by the time I got it I didn't really care for it but it was such a habit to put it at the top of my list that I just kept it up year after year. I dutifully played with it for at least a month though just in case Santa was watching.
I like the ideas about the list of wishes, it does leave the child more open for fulfillment. Putting all the eggs in one basket and asking for one gift may be hard on Santa.
In the case of not getting what she wants, it will be her first of many. My favorite advice I receieved about kids is helping them survive the disappointment. She will survive, it will build character.
I think the hardest part about these things is watching our kids go through it. Just know you are making the right choice for your family, and there is no way a 5yo can know that.
Although I so agree that they are expensive, I bought one for my son when he turned 5. We use it as a tool for responsibilty. He has to put it away in the case after each use, which we limit. If it is is found otherwise, he loses it for a day or whatever lenghth we deem appropriate. It also comes along with us on certain restaurant experiences and long car trips. Also, you can get the games second hand at quite a discount at game stop, not recomended as Santa gifts. I know this is not the answer to your question, but it the approach we took and overall, our son has displayed a great deal of respect for his game. Good luck to you. Lisa
Hi L T,
Sometimes we, as parents, need to remember who "Santa" is in our children's minds. He is the only one who can provide something (aside from God) that we may not want to, or be able to :o)
I learned (after breaking my son's heart one year long ago) that a gift from Santa is NOT about what I THINK he should have, but what he truly desires this 1 magical day a year. Exmple.....This year, my youngest son wants a 20ft Flagpole that is 6" in diameter.....does he need it? NO! Yet, he has been sending Santa letters for 6 months to make sure Santa's elves has enough time to make his dream gift this year :O) My hubby and I are going to figure it out to keep "the magic alive" in his heart and mind :O)
Now, as far as a DS goes.....I recommend getting her one. She can learn how to write notes, as well as play games. If you "splurge" and get her the DSi, then it can play movies for long travels and act as a portable TV for her entertainment (if you don't have that already). At 5, I believe she is ready and can handle it. If money is an issue, then Walmart has lay-a-way you can make a couple of payments if it's eaiser.
Please learn from my mistake long ago, and get her what she desires no matter how "silly" or ridiculous you think it might be. It's totally worth NOT breaking her heart. There is nothing worse than seeing your precious child disappointed on Christmas morning. Even if you've tried to "make up for it" with another costly gift.....it won't work.
You only get 1 chance at Christmas morning this year, make it her favorite year :O)
Merry Christmas!
~Nicole :O)
Hi L.T.,
I, too, am going to have to tell all three of my children why Santa did not bring them DSs. I plan on telling them that he brought gifts he felt were more appropriate for them at this time. I have also explained to them that Santa brings different gifts to different children based on need. Sometimes he knows that even though something they ask for would be a great and fun gift, there are other children who need it more than they do.
Dana
I can honestly say after having three children they will ask for items and it will soon be replaced with another favorite if only I had "...." I would be the best kid in the world. My children did have a hand held game and often they were taken away because they would get frustrated and wouldn't want to stop until they made it to the next level. I would not buy one for my five year old. If Santa does buy this game, make sure there are ground rules for it's use. When my children believed in Santa I bought them a small gift and more desired gifts came from family members, it was easier to let go of the fantasy. Good luck with your decision!
I would tell her that Santa does his best to bring all the kids the things they ask for, but sometimes he can't bring everything. Then maybe get her an educational hand held game. Leap frog makes a good one with that games that teach spelling, etc. Give her an what she asks for, kinda..but give her something that you feel will be educational and learning. Good luck & Merry Christmas! Toni
Last year my daughter had wanted Healie's the shoes with wheels. i was totally refusing it saying they were dangerous and ridiculous looking. Well, Santa broke down and got them for her and she was elated. Sometimes we just have to give in to their requests. She is an expert on Healies now and hasn't fallen once. I "couldn't believe Santa brought her the shoes".
My son was five when he got his DS last year from Santa. He loves it. My girls have one too but they don't play with it as much.
Good luck,
Santa does not make electronics only good quality old fashioned toys - LOL! Really we told our kids something along those lines last year when they wanted the Wii. We also didn't want our kids to play video games at 4 and 6 - boy did everyone and their Mother have something to say about that! ;-)! My hubby and I didn't care, we saw how the kids changed when a Wii was in a beach house we stayed at last summer. The first place we stayed, we all played/talked together before breakfast and after dinner and once the Wii came onto the scene - what a difference!! My God they couldn't focus on anything else! I say don't be pressured by what others deem "OK" for thier child by purchasing something you would rather yours didn't have. What does that teach the child? I think saying that Santa brings some gifts and Mom's and Dad's bring some gifts is a great way to help a child understand why little Joey down the block got a DS for Christmas and I didn't - plus I always think the "best" gift should come from Mom and Dad not Santa - keep the magic alive with the story and cute toys but let Mom and Dad get the glory of giving the "bigger" gifts - it also teaches children the value of money "we will get it when you are older and we have the money for it" - there is nothing wrong with that! Too many kids get anything they want and it leads to problems down the road. Good luck explaining it to her, and I don't think she will be broken hearted, my kids weren't they are too focused on all of the other wonderful things they received. If you are really worried about ruining Christmas day, perhaps Santa could answer her letter back with lots of cheer and promise of great things but the explaination that his elves don't know how to make a DS. Good luck whatever you decide!
First if you would like to get her one but the cost is two much then you could get a used one at Game Stop alot cheaper. Tell her Santa is really busy and sometimes his elves don't get all the toys finished but qwrite her letter back from Santa and put it under the tree and it could say that I Santa think that you are at the right age to start saving your money so maybe you can buy one since the elves didn't finish making them this year and put $20 in there then give her things to do to earn a little here and there. I didn't get video games for my kids until they were older because I didnt wantr them glued to it and not playing outside or with friends.
Tell her that Santa does not make electronics in his workshop. Also tell her soon in casual conversation whatever is you are going to tell her and then on Christmas when she gets whatever gift from Santa you could make sure that there is a note from Santa explaining why and maybe even "If you are real good maybe next year your mom will get you one". FYI my boys 5&8 both have DS's and have for a year, they do not play them all the time I use them for long trips or when we have to sit for a while somewhere and I need to keep them quiet. Good Luck and Merry Christmas!
good for you for not getting your kid everything she asks for! kids today are totally spoiled with material goods, yet hardly spend any time with their parents, which is what they really want and need more than anything! you are doing her a favor.
and to answer your question...well, that's harder ;).
make a deal with her; if she raises half the money by the time she's six, you can get her one then. she can help around the house, or ask relatives for donations. then if she still wants it in a year, it will be cheaper and more age appropriate.
good luck!
Santa likes to know what all the little children would like to have, and then in the wisdom and love he has for everyone, he gets to decide what is the better gift to give to each one. So it is a good idea to let Santa know of the other gifts you hope he will decide upon.
Good luck. My mama told me when I was worrying about the truth of the Santa story that Santa Claus is the spirit of giving at Christmas time and that we can all be Santa Clauses when we are mature enough to want to give to others. Since I was the eldest of her three daughters this sounded good to me..I think I was older than five, but of course not all five year olds get what they ask for..she may already realize that..
Blessing and have a great Christmas and do not feel obligated to give inappropriate gifts just to perpetuate a belief in Santa Claus.
Grandma Nancy
I always told my children that I write to Santa also and let him know what gifts are appropriate and what gifts are not appropriate. I also told them that Santa has many, many children to deliver gifts to and it was not okay to ask him for really expensive gifts when he had so many kids to give to. I let my kids know that more expensive gifts, if they get them, come from mom and dad, or family members, not Santa.
I would approach it similarly to when my son prays to God for frivolous items (like a litter of puppies). I tell him God knows best and will provide you with what he feels you need.
Or you can set yourself up as the bad guy and tell her you told Santa that you felt that gift was not appropriate for your family.