After having 3 boys, I found out I am finally having a girl. When my mother passed away, I was always said if I had a girl I would name her after my mother, only using the Spanish name since my husband is Spanish. Well, my sister had a girl first and took that name. Her child is not Spanish and does not even have any connections to the Spanish culture, so I'm annoyed that she would choose the Spanish version of my mother's name. I think it was a hit on my because she knew I wanted to use that name.
Anyway, this is not a sister I have talked to in about 7 years, and probably don't ever plan on talking to again. I tried in the past to reconcile things, but she's holding some ridiculous grudge for whatever reason.
I have been stuck on naming a girl after my mother but don't know now. What would others do in this situation? As I said, I don't even talk to my sister or have any contact with her, so the cousins wouldn't even know each other or anything. Not a big loss to me since my husband's family plays a more important role anyway.
Also, since this is a pregnancy with complications and my baby girl is fighting to become big enough to be delivered, I feel even more compelled to name her after my mother.
Name her whatever you want. I would say that even if you and your sister were close. I think it is nice tha tboth girls have sort of connection to a grandmother they didn't know. And for all you know, one day they may seek to meet onatnother and bond over the shared name.
If you are worried it would make the situation worse or just feel it's not originial, you could use a middle name - your Mom's name as first or middle, but call her by the other name. So if you mom was Jane, you name her Jane Marie and call her Marie, etc.
Good luck with the pregnancy, and I sincerely hope you can reconcile with your sister in the future, especially so your kids can know their cousins.
Hi - Congratulations on your pregnancy. As for her name, I say honor your mother by fulfilling your heart. Your daughter will be yours even if she has the same name as her cousin. I pray the rest of your pregnancy is as healthy has it can be and that your daughter is born happy & healthy. God Bless!
It sounds like you'd always regret it if you didn't name her what you truly want to name her. So, do it! I wouldn't let that stop you b/c someone you'll rarely (if ever) see has the same name. Go for it!
Name her whatever you want. I think it is awesome that you want to honor your mother and yet include the heritage from your husband's family. There were many "Roberts" in my family growing up to honor my grandfather, and it all worked out. Follow your heart on this one.
Follow your heart. Honor your mother and daughter by giving her that name. Your sister doesn't have the only right to use that name just because she got there first! Names are legacies. You have that legacy, too. Share it with your daughter.
I hear from you that your mother's name with the Spanish language is an important contact for you with your new daughter. I also agree with SM's response; positive things can come out of the same name, and if you have misgivings, make a little change to how you USE the name, not the name itself.
Consider that the naming of your child, with your husband, needs to be a name you accept in your heart. Your child wants to hear the love that was put into getting your name, no matter what it turns out to be. And the sir name is your husband's right?, so the whole name is not the same as your niece. It ought to have plenty of individualism without changing your first desire.
Some cultures dictate that name according to deceased relatives, or rotate names by generation. The parent's culture is part of their heart, and they abide by it. Our Society allows you to decide, and it's especially important that you are happy with the name as you are going to have it with your child throughout your life.
If your daughter doesn't want her cousin's name (they usually love having the same name), allow her to be called something different- wait for her request. My mother told me, if I wanted to change to my middle name, that was what it was for.
If your sister decides to contact you with a negative intent, then in your heart; send her the love you have for your mother and your new daughter. As you respond to her with that love in your heart, you'll know you honor your mother and her name by having Two grandchildren with her name and you honor your husband and daughter's heritage using the Spanish version. Your child will grow with that love and honor from you - SO WHAT IS IN A NAME? What you give with it...
Good luck with the decision, and love it!
I would go ahead and use you mother's name. Celebrate the woman you loved, pay no attention to the one you don't. If you are still uncomfortable, you could use your mother's name as the baby's middle name and give her an equally lovely first name, maybe another family name. Good luck!
You've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Nic, Nic, Nic... I think you can name your child any special name you wish, especially when it has such strong emotional ties.
And if you do have the good fortune of working things out with your sister, the girls might just feel more connected having the same name with ties to their grandmother.
Congratualations on your baby girl, I hope things go OK with the remainder of the pregnancy.
Name your child how you see fit. If your sister has a problem with it, that's her problem and not yours. I think it's wonderful that you want to use your mother's name.
Congratulations! I had 3 girls, then finally had a boy. And, oh boy! What a difference in raising them. Girls and boys are so different!
Anyway, name your little girl whatever you want to name her. It's not like having two kids in the same house everyday with the same name. There's no reason why you shouldn't use the name you want to use. Have a glorious life!
It sounds like you really want to name her after your mother. You should. I know there's a little separation, but my cousin and I both named our daughters after our grandmother. I know some siblings that have considered naming their child names that we've already decided on for future children (even though the name isn't a family name). It won't stop me from naming my child a name that I love. Hopefully they won't care. If they do, then it's really too bad for them. I think it's really wonderful that you want to honor your mother this way, and I think you should remember it's really about your mother and your daughter. Whatever grudge your sister might hold, however she might try to take a stab at you, you have to look beyond that. And I think it would be worse to regret not naming her after your mother.
ah, isnt sibling spats great.. ok, skip the snideness.
dont worry about whether your sister has used the name or not, it is a name, not a country. the beautiful thing about
names is that you can use the english, french, spainsh
or even the vietnamese spelling of a name.. it is up to you. you can use the name as a first, second, third or even the forth name, stop looking over the fence to see what your sister is doing because, chances are good, she is doing the same thing. convincing herself that you have something she doesnt have... and all that does is make the person that encourages this very well off , laughing all the way to the bank
karin h.
HI i would use the name, even if you were on speaking terms. I don't think it matters as much as people think. In my family there are lots of cousins with the same name. It's quite funny actually..just an example I have an uncle Alberto, a cousin Alberto the same age group and they both named their sons Alberto. At the fam reunion this yr there was 5 Albertos. No big deal. Good luck!
It is the task on any individual to make their name their own no matter how unique or common the name. It's a fun task at times. Also, if your daughter has the authentic Spanish heritage on her side, she may grow up pronouncing her own name properly (as opposed to others... who may not. Awwwww.)
Also, nicknames are born out of unique expression. Perhaps your daughter will inspire a nickname that would eliminate any confusion should the cousins be in the same place at the same time in the future. I have always felt honored that my name has family significance. (My first name is the feminine forms of my uncles's name and also was my mom's mom's father's name. My middle name was my mom's dad's mother's name.) Don't let anyone, even your sister, rob you and your daughter of that honor.
I have been here and done this, but it was with my father's name. When I had the first grandson, my DH and I wanted to honor both our dads and name our son after both of them. My youngest brother (whose wife wasn't even pregnant at the time) complained that I couldn't use our father's name as my son's first name because he was planning to use it in the future. It took both of our parents pointing out that the children would have different last names and probably grow up on different coasts, so it really didn't matter to convince my brother that it was a non-issue as far as they were concerned and to drop it. I named my son after my father, and several years later when my brother finally had a son he did the same. So, we had a Joe (my dad), a Joey (my eldest brother), a Joseph (my son) and a Joe II (my nephew).
I also had a roommate at one time who had a cousin with her exact name (first, middle, AND last). The two girls didn't grow up near each other, but they thought it was kind of neat to have a relative with the exact same name when they met at a family reunion as little girls.
Name your daughter what you want to name her, it is your child and your choice. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.
how wonderful to have three lovely boys and now getting a girl! congratulations!
i would absolutely name her after your mom, what a lovely tribute, especially if you have challenges in the pregnancy that cause you recall the strength and love of your mom to help you through. as many here have said, even if you reconcile with your sister it shouldn't be any problem at all that the cousins have the same name, you'll find fun and creative ways to deal with it.
:) khairete
suz
name her after your mother! name her after your mother! My sil and I were pregnant at the same time and actually due the same week - both girls. I told everyone her name and that she was going to be named after me and my grandmother (same name) My brother and sil kept quiet until the baby was born. she was delivered a month prematurely and named her the same name. I was still pregnant and fuming. I thought about it and decided that even though we are a close family, we don't live in the same town and the girls have different last names. I named her the same name but we gave my daughter a nickname - Katie instead of Kate. Ironically, a few years later we adopted a dog that was already named. Our lovely dog has the same name as my brother's 2nd daughter - Lilly. there may have been hurt feeling about both names for a short time (mostly my side) but we are all fine with it (5 years now) and I am glad I didn't compromise and choose a name that didn't mean as much to me. My sil named her daughter after her mother so we were both being sentimental, not petty. Even if you and your sister reconcile (which I hope you do for your children's sakes) it will be fine to have the same name.
My husband and his first cousin, who is one month younger, have the same first name. Their mothers are sisters and are very close, and in fact lived across the street from each other for years while the boys were growing up. My husband is named after his father and paternal grandfather, but his aunt also really liked the name. No one has a problem with it, and we just include the middle name of everyone with the same first name at family gatherings!
So I think you should definitely name your daughter after your mother. Good luck with your pregnancy. :-)