I am a mom of a 16 month old little guy and before he was born we had the big baby showers for him. But just recently we found out we are having twin boys and I didn't even think about having a shower for them, but I have been asked by several people to let them know when I am going to have a baby shower. I don't know if it is the apporiate thing to do or not to have a 2nd baby shower? I don't want to seem gready, but it would be nice to have some new things since they are off seasons from eachother with my older son. I'm just torn as to what to do. My sister is willing to host it for me if that's what I want to do and if we have the shower I think it would be much smaller then the first ones. Have any of you had or hosted a 2nd shower for someone? What did you do and how did your guests react?
I would think that since you are having twins it would be a very good thing to have.
I personally would not unless you're having girls and even then I felt weird going to a friends shower. She had two boys and plenty of baby things from them but I understood that she didn't have girl clothing and such so I was fine.
My family believes in one shower to get you ready for your first child and any subsequent children get maybe a gift in the hospital.
You should consider having your sister do a meet and greet after the baby is born. People may bring the twins things but don't expect it and don't register anywhere.
I am a firm believer that the mother should have NOTHING to do with the shower/planning or anything. If your sister wants to throw you a shower, fine, but you should not be involved in any way.
I attended a shower for both of my kids. One in 2000 and one in 2004, however since my daughter was born before I met my husband his family felt it would be alright to throw one for my son.
Hi Angela! I have hosted a 5th baby shower! I believe that every baby deserves to come in with a bang! WIth twins....you are going to need a shower!
Let your sister plan it.....and you enjoy! I love it when people let me know what they need!
Some people think it's tacky to have another shower, but I think it's tacky to begrudge a party and/or gift to a new baby no matter what the birth order!
Congrats!
I agree with what Mamatatwo said. I had a girl, followed by another single girl. My SIL enthusiastically offered to throw a shower for me - she doesn't have kids, and didn't throw one for the first child. However, I knew that my friends all had 2, 3 or more children and never had showers for their subsequent children, so how could I ask them to a party where gift-giving was the expectation? I also felt I had enough "stuff", so why ask for more?
If you truly feel that you need more stuff and that your friends/family would go for a shower, then why not do it? And make sure you register for what you want, too, so you don't get more of what you already have and don't want more of. (Since you already have one boy.) However, if you want the celebration more than the stuff, I'd strongly suggest the meet-n-greet; people can always bring a gift, and I would suspect most would.
I'd also recommend getting involved with one the Mothers of Multiples groups. I'm sure you could get a lot of the double items from them, and I know they generally have great annual garage sales that lots of moms attend.
Congrats, and good luck!
ETA: Oh, and on the "off seasons from each other" thing - kids are different sizes and grow differently from each other, so who knows what you might need or not need? Some items I never used w/my 1st, I use literally daily w/my 2nd.
We've had this discussion about my SIL's latest addition and looked it up online. What we found was that a "Sprinkle" could be held. A Sprinkle is where the gifts are less expensive and more practical...IE diapers, wipes, clothes.
I agree that the mommy-to-be shouldn't have much(if anything) to do with it. But if someone wants to throw a party, let them. If it makes you feel uncomfortable about having a full-out shower, you could make the suggestion of a Sprinkle, instead. I do not think you should register unless you really do need extra baby gear. I would let the person who is throwing the party know what items you will need, if they ask.
Congrats and best wishes.
Perhaps I'm a little old-fashioned (or stodgy or Grinch-like), but I really do not think that subsequent baby showers are appropriate. (Caveat: I went to a shower for a 3rd child that was 16 years younger than her siblings.) You mention you had "showers", plural, for your first son, so I personally would not feel OK with having another shower for later children.
Of course, having twins puts you in a bit of a quandry because you likely need another car seat, infant swing, and so on, but I've found that those items are usually passed around among family and friends anyway, or they are readily available on Freecycle, garage sales, and Craigslist.
I normally am really against a 2nd shower but in your case with TWINS you have to. Just do it!
My sister went through this and at the time, I couldn't believe there was a second shower; her boys were less than 2 yearhs apart. But when I realized the women who threw the shower didn't know her when her first was born, I figured it was okay cuz the guest list was different except for family. Turns out I was right. This is from Emily Post's website:
Q. Is it proper to give a baby shower for a second baby? Some say that baby showers should only be given for the first born.
A. It is all right to have a baby shower for a second or third baby, as long as the guest list is comprised of guests who did not attend a shower for the first (and/or second) baby, with the exception of close friends and family members who would be upset not to be there.
I also think it's all right to have a shower if there is a big age gap, like my brother and his wife having an "oops" baby eight years after the last one. Who saves all their stuff.
In your case, I imagine the ones asking are concerned you do not have two of everything since you only had a single before. This also makes sense if someone wants to throw you a shower.
I didn't have a shower for my first because I was handed down almost everything and felt no need to be "greedy". And then with my second, my sister threw me a party and was able to celebrate my daughter's first birthday AND the new baby. And quite frankly, it was almost like having twins cuz I needed another crib. :-)
In the end, though, the shower shouldn't be about gifts. It should be about the celebration of a baby. So what if it's the second and third or the 10th?
I've lived in three states and, everywhere I go, my friends are happy to host and attend a baby shower, whether it's for a first child or a 4th. Every child is different and special and is a reason to celebrate.
If the mom already has everything she needs for baby, we've done a diaper shower where the gifts are diapers and wipes and gift cards for those baby needs that always seem to come up. We've also just done a party that is more for socialization than gift giving, just to celebrate the new life.
Any way you do it, I don't think it's inappropriate at all. One of my friends is expecting her 4th boy and I plan on making sure she gets a baby shower for him.
I think it really depends on your friends and family. If they want to do it, then they will. I don't know why some people would get worked up about it. If they don't believe in a second shower, they don't need to go.
I am sure that you won't need one, though. You are having twins! People are going to give you tons of matching clothes and diapers galore! If people ask you what you need for the new babies, tell them a few things, you'll find that you get a lot of them.
In our church we give a baby shower for the first child born while they are at our church. But they are still bombarded with gifts and meals after they have the baby. We have tons of baby-crazy people in our church.
People are ga-ga over babies and double so over twins.
With my second I couldn't decide either because I didn't want to seem greedy. So what I did was register...that was all. So when people asked I would tell them where I was registered - but then my husband's family did one anyway - but it was fun and I don't think anyone minded doing a second one. Live it up! :)
What about a "meet the babies" shower after they're born? That way people could meet the twins, and it's an opportunity to present you with gifts if people choose. If someone else hosts it, there won't be any work for you, except taking home leftovers. :)
I would say if someone is willing to give you a baby shower it's ok to have one. Also with you having 2 this time you will need a few more things for them. Like another car seat, crib along with other things. Some poeple may not want to come or will give less because this is your 2nd. However most people love to buy for babies. I see nothing wrong with having a 2nd. I did with mine. They were both girls but 5 years apart and I did not have a lot for the baby.
I think typically there's no shower for the 2nd baby. BUT since you are having twins, I'm sure people will realize how much more stuff you're going to need and I don't hink people will mind helping out. Especially if they just get you a gift card or some diapers-- those are simple but VERY helpful gifts =)
Maybe you could have a Meet and Greet after the babies are born. Then everyone could meet the twins and bring a gift if they want to.
Angela,
First of all, congrats on the twins! My SIL had a 2nd baby with her 2nd husband and my MIL refused to do anything for a 2nd shower...her family (and a very big one at that) she told me "never does a 2nd shower." With that being said, her new husband's family still had a shower for her and those of us that wanted to give gifts, did.
I gave my sister and BIL a 2nd shower for their baby - but did it as a couple's shower...no games, and after the baby was born so all could meet her. Everyone was happy to see her, and the gifts ranged from sleepers up to carseats and high chairs.
Finally, I would like to advise you about purchasing carseats off of the internet. Most companies will not maintain the warranty on the product if it has been sold, and if there is a recall on the product, the company has no way of getting in touch with you.
Good luck...twins are fantastic...(mine are 3)
Jackie
If your sister is willing to throw you a shower then I would go with it...I would invite the ones that asked about being invited and close family members...I mean twins are different than having 1 one baby and everyone likes to dress them the same. Best wishes!
Hi Angela,
I have twins, and I absolutely advise having another baby shower. You're not being greedy. You are giving people the opportunity to celebrate and rejoice with you. I think that is true of single babies too. But in addition to that, twins have unique needs. You need more of everything in general, and at least two of certain things like car seats and cribs. If you have a group of friends or family members that might like to coordinate together, they may want to go in on a double stroller or two new car seats for you.
People are asking because they want to know what they can do for you. You will have your hands full, so it's a good idea to start accepting help now. :^)
Congratulations!
Jayna Locke
NewVitality Wellness
www.newvitalitywellness.com
My family (and my husbands) only believes in 1 shower. I only had 1 TOTAL for my first child. So NONE OF OUR FAMILY WOULD EVEN CONSIDER SHOWING UP TO A 2ND SHOWER>>! I feel that is kind of greedy when I get invited to another shower for the same mother.....
However, we ended up switching churches after our daughter was born and we started attending a very small church (about 50 people total) and they did throw us a shower for our second, a son. I was not expecting this at all.
The people that come see the baby after it is born always bring gifts so I don't really feel comfortable having other showers......UNLESS you did it after the babies are born so everyone could see them. I HATE GOING TO SHOWERS BEFORE AND THEN GIVING A GIFT BECAUSE THEN WHEN I WANT TO GO SEE THE BABY AFTERWARDS I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO BRING ANOTHER GIFT!!!
Whatever you decide you just need to consider who you're inviting and how they will take the invite.