First of all, congratulations on your new little peanut. I hope that you are finding the time to enjoy all the special moments with a newborn :)
Secondly, I think that e-mail is the way to go with your network of friends. You will most likely tell a few close friends and your family, so don't convince yourself that you are avoiding any of that pain. Plus, anyone who cares about you will understand all that you have on your plate right now. When our twins were born early and spent eight weeks in the NICU, I sent out e-mails to keep everyone up to date. It seemed that our friends appreciated the less personal approach in lieu of frequency of updates. In your case, I'm sure that your friends recognize that you have three children and are dealing with an important medical diagnosis. They will cherish any way that you choose to reach out to them right now. Just be sure that the e-mail lets your personality show through - the more it sounds like you, the more connected they will feel (I used humor as much as possible so that everyone knew that I was doing OK and that they could still expect to hear my usual voice if they decided to pick up the phone and call) . . .
I dont see anything wrong with sending an email, and I would be honest about why you chose to do it that way, just as you were here.
As for the reactions you might get from others... I feel like a jerk right now, because I think "I'm sorry" is probably exactly what I would say if you were my friend. Not because I would be sorry that your son was born (that would be a horrible thing to say), but I would be sorry that you have to go through a lot of difficult things that you didnt have to worry about with your other children... even things as simple as choosing whether/how to make this announcement to your friends. Hopefully your friends would have the same intentions, and hopefully thinking of it this way will make it a little easier when someone does say it. I think the best response you can give is... "Thank you. This diagnosis has been difficult for all of us, but I wouldnt trade him for the world!"
Good luck, and congratulations on your new little bundle of joy!
I have a child who ahs Autism, but we didn't find out until sh was 4 plus we aleardy thought she had AUtism for some time before we found out. I would start by telling those close to you, the people you need support from and trust me as your child gets older youw ill need the support and go ahead and join local groups for support. Again trust me you will need it.
Go ahead and email, you you be talking about it a lot soon so email isn't a big deal these days. Don't worry about eharing I'm sorry. You will get over it, I would say the same to others if I found out. I think it is athing people say when they care and don't know what else to say. I say it becasue I know the tough road ahead. Just rememebr to not be embarassed or ashamed of your child, just love him for who he is.
Unforuntaly having a special needs child is a way you find out who your friends are and who you can talk to aboout "things". Good luch to you!
Jean,
I am sorry if I come off too blunt, but Why areyou looking for a way to explain your child. He is your brand new baby boy and you love him that is all that matters. Some people make bigger deals out of nothing. This is your son you dont have to explain anything to anyone. If you start to treat him different he is going to grow up feeling different and you don't want that. Let him grow up as "normal" as possible.
Shant'e
What is there to tell? And why do you have to annoce it to the world? Your son is a gift, and your true friends will see that and hopefully not ask to many stupid questions. So many children are living normal healthy lives with the same condiotion. Some you can tell by looking at them and some you pick it up when they are talking to you.
Your true friends will come and stand by you and not judge or say "I am sorry". You are right there is nothing to be sorry about. Your where given a child that is special. Just like all children are special in there very own way.
I have a child that needs a little extra help, and they are not able to put a name to him. But the school wants to degrade him. You are going to need to be strong and fight for your child and all your other children to be treated equal. If we don;t then no one will.
You have started on the right path by getting the early help and asst. Keep up the strong work.
It is sad, but some of these answers just made your point. A few here asked,"Why do you feel you have to say anything?"
I'll answer that...because there ARE insensitive people out there who will ask insensitive questions...some people here proved that fact. How dare they try to make you feel foolish for asking a perfectly legitimate question. Some people have no couth. I understand where that came from (saying you don't have to answer to anyone) but the way it was posed in itself was ironic.
I have to go to the hospital now to pick up my hubby but I'll be back to throw in my two cents (or maybe a nickel in this case). :)
Congrats on the wonderful new addition to your family! I think that how you stated things here is a great way to let everyone know about your baby. Yes, your life is going to change, but it always does...It will be enhanced in ways you never imagined. People who have had experiences with children with special needs know that your lives are greatly enhanced. I think that your friends and family will know this already and come to realize it. I completely understand that you would like to inform everyone. This way you won't have people wondering if something is wrong, asking other people and not getting the information from you. We all brag about our children and talk about them all the time, this is just another thing to share about their lives.
Jean,
You have been SO blessed, having a Down baby or not. A child is a wonderful gift from God. How your friends and relatives take it is not something you should be concerned with. Making sure that your child gets the appropriate education and love is the point.
I am going to college for special education. A requirement for taking these type of classes are to go into schools and experience hands on how children of special needs act and react. I have been so touched when leaving the schools I have the feeling of being overwhelmed and yet with a warm heart all day. Every child has something to offer, they just need to find their niche. If your heart is open, you too (and friends and relatives) will probably learn something about themselves they didn't know already.
You are blessed, your child is blessed...think nothing less!