Sleep on the breast

Newborns & Infants Sleep
1

Hello,

My son is falling asleep while he’s on the breast. He’s 18 months old now and I want to stop it but he’s crying and I don’t know how to comfort him. I don’t know how to teach him to sleep independently. He has a floor bed in his bedroom. Can you please advise me something? I feel ashamed that he still needs the breast to sleep, and also I’m afraid he will feel neglected if I don’t do this. It’s so confusing :neutral_face:

2

Your instinct that you and nursing should not be your kid’s sleep aid seems right on target. Have you talked to your pediatrician and/or a lactation consultant? Both of them might have some suggestions. Good luck with it!

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3

Hello @Lisa_Dima and welcome to mamapedia. First there is nothing to be ashamed of that you are wondering how best to meet your son’s needs while also realizing as @alewinson pointed out that your instincts that it is time to night or sleep wean him also deserve your attention. A lactation consultant (or pediatrician) is a great idea as they can often suggest a personalized approach that gradually sleep weans your child while offering him comfort in other ways. All children need to learn to self soothe to fall asleep and a gradual approach to sleep weaning is generally worth the time.

There is one such gradual approach called the Pantley Pull off that helps babies and toddlers stop nursing to fall asleep. This approach in a nutshell:

  1. Nurse as usual at bedtime.
    Let your child nurse and get drowsy, as they normally do.
  2. Watch for the slowing of sucking.
    As your baby or toddler starts to drift off, their sucking becomes lighter and slower. This is your cue.
  3. Gently unlatch (pull-off).
    Slide your finger into the corner of their mouth to break the latch and remove the breast before they are fully asleep.
  4. If they fuss or root, re-latch.
    If they protest or try to nurse again, that’s okay—let them latch back on.
  5. Repeat the process.
    Gently unlatch again once they’re drowsy. You may have to do this several times in one night at first gradually increasing the time not latched on. Over time, the number of re-latches will decrease. It also helps to add in another soothing method such as snuggles or a song.

Another approach is to try to gently introduce another sucking object. Some toddlers can switch to the bottle, for example, and then you can cuddle, let him switch from nursing to bottle each night gradually. It also helps to have another caregiver help at bedtime so that the other caregiver can take over with a bottle once your child is used to that.

There are lots of possible approaches and no one size fits all. My niece slipped in a pacifier instead of a bottle and over a week or two success! Doing it gradually, offering alternative comfort such as a back rub and snuggles, and the sound of your voice all help to soothe as an alternative to nursing.

4

Hi @Lisa_Dima. Oh my gosh we all struggle with parenting so please go easy on yourself. Night nursing is the hardest to give up for child and mother! One question I have is does he nurse at other times of the day or only at night? If he nurses during the day too you could try the method @LisaJM1 described during the day to get him used to the comfort object first and then try it at night. I combo nursed and bottle fed my children since I was also working. I then had my husband take over at night with a bottle gradually. It gave him some great bonding time with our children and with my second gave me some time with my older child for stories and bedtime. Then we had to get them off of the bottle which was not so difficult. We did that gradually too. I’d put them down with back rubs and songs. Each of my now your adult children remembers being sung to and each had a special song so that is a nice soothing memory gift too.

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