OK I have a 3 year old daughter that is absolutely my most difficult but wonderful child. she is so loving at times but others so distant. I am a homeschooling mom that really does not want anything to do with the system be it public school or anything related. just personal preferences. We have dealt enough with them in our lives and don't want our children put through the wringers as my husband and I were.
Here is my dilemma. My daughter was a normal infant. she was colicky but otherwise normal. developed normally and everything. She DID have a rash that would NOT go away. it was off and one. and got worse each time she got her immunizations. Me being someone who had not yet heard of the reactions shots could cause did not think anything of it and kept taking her in for her checkups and the doctor suggested everything from changing her soaps to changing what clothes and foods she could eat. Nothing made a difference. Well she was about 19 months old and got her 18 month shots. they were delayed due to her being sick at 18 months. Well she was sick at 19 months also but the doctor decided she was already late on them and she was not THAT sick. SO we gave her, her shots. Her rash got worse over the 2 weeks time after that shot. she also got more moodier and threw more tantrums than she normally had before. Then I took her in again for her rash because she was now starting to itch it! I was concerned she was gonna itch her skin right off. she was making it bleed! So they put her on Prednisolone. a steroid to help with the shot. Well this had a horrible reaction in her little body and she literally sat 2 inches from the wall screaming but she wanted held but would scream harder if we touched her. It took the doctors a week to figure out that that was an allergic reaction to the prednisolone!!! Actually we later found out from a different doctor it was her bodies reaction to the stress of the shots and then adding prednisolone on top of it. It over stimulated her nerve endings and it hurt to be touched!! Well we got passed that episode and we decided the rash was not THAT bad and made sure she had socks on her hands at night so she could not itch it.
Well then over the next year's time she progressively got worse and worse. She went from being a normal outgoing little girl to being a very shy little girl. she is afraid of EVERYTHING! She went from sleeping in a completely dark room to having to have the light on. Not just a night light! She can't wear certain clothing or it makes her scream! She has shown signs of OCD. like having to stop on the crack in our doorways and putting BOTH feet on them before she would walk through it. She threw a HUGE fit if we did not allow her to do this. it lasted for about 3 months and she then stopped on her own. she has many other little quirks as I like to call it that I have not figured out yet what it is. There is just something different about her than the other children I have babysat and also my son and youngest daughter. My son is 5 and he is sensitive but I would not say he is not a normal boy. My 3 year old however just does not seem like a normal little girl. My 1 year old has not had a single immunization and so far has not had any of the problems my other daughter has had. She was not even colicky. It was great! LOL.
my biggest concern right now is my 1 year old wants to badly play with her sister. However my 3 year old will have NOTHING to do with playing with other children let alone her baby sister. She screams like a banshee anytime my youngest wakes up in the mornings or comes downstairs from her nap. She does not want her to TOUCH her toys. or even LOOK in her general direction when she is playing she will spend the rest of the day trying to find a place or way to hide the toys. I have not allowed this behavior and have literally sat down and played with the two of them and my 3 year old just shuts off. She does not seem to be listening or willing to even play at that point. I have noticed on many occasions that she shuts off the world and does her own thing and just does not seem to want anything to do with anyone. In the church nursery it has been pointed out to me that she will play just fine side by side the other kids but will NOT interact with them. She SOMETIMES plays with her brother but I have noticed also it seems she is not really playing with him but coping what he is doing and doing her own thing. She won't listen to his suggestions on how to play certain things he wants to pretend and just does what she wants.
My husband is VERY much against getting her tested. my Mother In Law thinks I am just trying to find something wrong with my kids to have an excuse for attention. She is crazy. LOL. I am homeschooling them and have not officially started school this year with them but have played some education games and done some activities with them. She has NO desire to tell me what she knows however I KNOW she knows ALOT. I have heard her tell her dollies different colors, I have heard her count to 30! playing hide and seek with her DOLLS! I have heard her get mad at her brother because he tries to tell her different shapes and he is usually wrong! She will snap at him the correct shape. He tries to teach her but is teaching her WRONG things but she already KNOWS them. But when I sit down to do school with her she seems to shut off! I have figured out a few ways to get around this but it is not gonna work forever! I have also ran into problems with discipline with her. We do spank. I know alot of parents feel this is wrong but it has worked on my son to a point. He still has more work due to bad influences in the neighborhood. LOL. However with my 3 year old you might as well have slapped her across the face. she screams louder than any kid I have ever known. Usually when she is being spanked we talk to her before she gets spanked and after. to explain why she is getting spanked. She completely shuts off. does not get through to her as to why she is being disciplined and she just goes right back to what she was doing before even the bad behavior. Like hitting her sister who is grabbing her toys. We have tried other methods like time out and that does not work. I have taken her toys away when she does not share and she acts as if I ripped her arm off. it's the end of the world!!! she will continuously sit by the fridge and point and scream and jump and throw a fit and whine that she wants her toys back. I usually put them on top of the fridge where she can't just pull them back down.
As I said before My family is against getting her tested. My mom even is against it. She said everyone on her side of the family is a little OCD. I KNOW I am. It took me a long time and help from counselors to get passed it but it also brought alot of unneeded suffering from counselors also and being degraded and such. Not a pleasant experience. so I am not 100% for getting her tested. My question is how much harm will it do her if she is OCD or Ausperger's? I have been told by 3 people that she reminds them of their cousin, sister, or nephew that has Ausperger's. She also toe walks alot. Not sure if that has anything to do with anything but it's been pointed out to me NUMEROUS times.
What will happen to my little girl if I don't get her tested? I would love to have my fearless little rascal back. but I think those days are done. I miss her actually walking up to a person at the park and telling them things. she did that at 15 months!!!!! she could hold a conversation with someone just fine. full sentences. she has no speech delays. its more the attitude than anything. What kinds of ways are there that I could teach her without the frustration from both of us. she is only working on Preschool level stuff but only at her own pace and when she asks for it. which she does sometimes. Especially when brother is doing school. she also seems very sensitive to loud noises and will put her hands over her ears and scream and rock her body. funny thing is sometimes she screams LOUDER than the actual loud Noise. LOL. OK well I gotta go. please if anyone has any suggestions for me let me know. also let me know what are the benefits of getting her tested and the benefits of NOT getting her tested. I don't think it will be a HUGE deal to Homeschool her I think it just will take a little more time to get her to be ready and love school. just gotta go at it a different direction. :) Thank you for any help.