After multiple miscarriages my dh and I are considering adoption. Can anyone advise me on where to start, share your experience with local or national agencies, infant vs. older child, approximate cost, etc. We have a beautiful 5yr old daughter, but feel we have lots of love to share and would love to expand our familiy.
My husband and I adopted both of our sons as infants with Gladney in Fort Worth. We were please with both adoptions. I would first say that you and your husband should sit down and discus what you are both comfortable with. Open, semi closed or closed adoptions? Are you open to a child of different race or biracial? Are you ok with medical conditions or an older child? As for cost it can be as low as nothing with the state adopting an older child or toddler or a child with medical issues. Or about 10,000 for a biracial child or as high as you can imagine for a healthy Caucasian infant. And of course you can go international and that can take a fair amount of money. My first and foremost advice is that you are aware that not all agencies are the same. Some require you to pay for medical care and other living expenses for the mother before and maybe even after the birth of the baby. You could suffer financial lost with some agencies if the birth mother changes her mind. One of the reason's we chose Gladney is that if the birth mother did change her mind (which did happen to us) all the money received by Gladney from us would then go towards the next planned adoption with no financial loss for us. As I said before it's wise to have a clear idea of what kind of an adoption you both are comfortable with and then find the agency that will meet those needs. Most offer an orientation that you can attend and ask the questions that you might have. Some agencies can make you feel bad for not wanting an adoption different than they offer (ex: only do open adoptions) so it would just save you the grief if you kind of know what you are wanting before attending. Also it's wise not to take advice from someone that has not adopted themselves as they may mean well but some only know the bad adoption stories to tell you about and frighten or upset you. Too many movies on the lifetime channel about his subject ")
Sorry to be so long winded and hope I helped some.
Best Regards,
Caroline
My husband and I adopted our daughter last year. We had also been through miscarriages, fertility testing, and failed IUI. I think its wonderful that you and your husband are considering adoption. It was such an amazing experience for us.
I agree with Caroline. It is very important that you know what type of adoption you want before you go into it. You can find out a lot of information online regarding the agencies, both locally and nationally, before you contact them. That way you'll know if the agency is an open-adoption-only agency or if they also participate in closed or semi-closed adoptions. Most of the agencies that I researched listed this type of info on their website.
We chose to go with Adoption Network Law Center. They are a national group based in California. We specifically chose them because their average wait time was listed as 4 months. We were very happy with them. The adoption advisers walked us through everything and answered all of our questions. We started our process in November 2007, went on their website in January 2008, were matched with a birthmother in March 2008, and brought home our baby girl in April 2008. The wait time with that particular group depends on whether a couple is open to adopting more than a caucasian girl for instance. The more specific a couple is regarding a child they hope to adopt, the longer the wait can be.
As for costs.... Again, it can depend on the agency and the type of adoption. Domestic adoptions can cost anywhere from the $10k-$17k range all the way up to $30k-$40k. Most agencies do require that you pay birth mother expenses if she needs them. We were willing to pay those expenses but it just turned out that our birthmother lived at home with her parents and didn't need the expense money. There are a number of fees to get started with an adoption and should be taken into consideration. Initial fee with the agency, homestudy fee, fingerprint clearance fee, UPS/Fedex fees, etc. It can add up.
Having said that about the financial aspect of adoption... As you do research, you'll find out that you can get loans and also apply for grants. I found this info on Hope Cottage's website. These aren't exclusive to Hope Cottage so you could possibly use some of these depending on the type of adoption, and whether or not you would qualify. http://www.hopecottage.org/costs_and_funding
Adoption can be a roller coaster of emotions but it is definitely a ride worth taking. Our daughter is the absolute joy of our lives. I can't imagine my life without her.