Ok got a tough one here. My hubby and I have three kids ages 4, 2 and 18 months. Our 4 year old is getting ready to go to kindergarden this upcoming fall but here's the kicker. We refuse to send her to the school to which district we are in due to the test scores and its just not a good school by any means. I am a stay at home mom and been one almost a full year. My hubby works a good job but in order to pay the bills he has to work at least 3 Saturday's a month which right now he can do. My ossue is should I get a job and try to move to a better school district? There is a school nearby we can open enroll her but they have a waiting list to get in and the lady I spoke with said that more than likely she probably won't so have a back up plan. We don't have another school to send her too unless we plan to travel 10-15 miles out of our way. So now we arw stuck. We cannot afford to move now because we don't have the money right now.
I would really like to move but hubby doesn't. He saidbwe should just send our kids to the bad school forba few years and then once an opening comes up for the other school then we can transfer her. Sorry not happening for me. I refuse toblet any of our kids go to that other school. I want the best for my kids and I know my husband does too but we are running out of time. I had an interview today and although I really don't want to leave being a SAHM I may have to so we can move. Can someone please give me insight here?
Have you considered homeschooling your 4 yr old for kindergarten?
And I don’t know the details, but 10-15 miles out of your way, what does that mean? My kids’ middle school and high school (the only high school in the county) are both close to 30 miles from our home. Now that they are older, they are riding the bus. The only elementary school is 15 miles. I uses to drive my daughter daily (and pick her up, too).
You do what you have to do. Whatever that may be. If you have to drive, and you can, do it. If you can’t, put her where you have to, or seriously consider homeschooling. But if you go the home schooling route, do your research. You really do need to teach your child. It isn’t just fun and games.
For me, I would never leave my kids at those very young ages to go to work. I think I agree with your husband, to start your kids off in your regular school. Honestly, our school is considered one of the best around and our kindergarten program was horrible…so you never know. I wound up having my dd go 1/2 day and I taught her what I wanted her to learn in the afternoon. When kids are that young, they frequently learn at home more than they do at school (at least academically). They can pick up many of the social skills at school and a few basics.
Have you considered how much you would take home after paying day care for the younger two and before/after school care for the oldest? Would it be enough to move? Just food for thought!
What about applying for a scholarship at a private school?
Your children don’t need the best school in order to receive a great education. You are the most important influence on them. If you think education is important, then they will receive a great education. You will make sure of that.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to send your children to a better school. Just don’t get so focused on that that you panic. You have plenty of time before August. Even if you aren’t able to make it happen in time for August, it will be ok. It really will be ok if your oldest attends the local school for one or two years.
Relax. Don’t panic. Keep an open mind about your options, and you’re sure to find the right balance for your family. Maybe you’ll decide to go back to work. Maybe you’ll find a way to stay home for another year or two. Either way, you are the biggest influence in your child’s education. Don’t sell yourself short.
Will you make any $ working?
You need to factor in
daycare costs
tax brackets
(2 big ones plus)
transportation/parking/gas
clothes/makeup/hair/other professional appearance
etc.
In our area, most SAHs, SAH because they CAN’T afford to work. Just daycare alone costs more than they make, or after figuring in tax bracket increase, etc., they make less then it costs to work (or break even, or make a whopping $1 an hour kind of thing.
So DO THE MATH, carefully, before you make a decision.
I DO know people who are paying to work on purpose… To advance in their field… But if you’re paying to work when you need to be aid to work… Then you’re just chasing your own tail.
Personally… I’d consider driving 10-15 miles totally worth it for a good school. Not sure why you’d rather move than drive? Obviously, living moments away is nice, and maybe something to aim for, but in the interim? I’d drive.
If there was any grade where a lower quality school is ok, it is kindergarten.
When my kiddo went to kindergarten the school we had to go to, because of districts, had a “Great Schools” rating of 2…
so yea… LOL
That school was testing about 20% below the state average.
BUT, it was only for 2 and a half hours a day in Kindergarten…
Now, husband has a better paying job and we have moved and her school she is in now is rated at a 6.
And the school is testing ABOVE the state average.
So my opinion would be to be patient, don’t stress over kindergarten and try and see if you can move else where next year, or even the year after.
Me personally, I WOULD go back to work… but I hate being a stay at home mom.
You can look at my past posts for my opinion on that.
I have been staying home for 7 years and feel like a prisoner… So if you can get out, get out, in my opinion.
Right now, until I finish school, any money I made would be eaten up by day care costs, so not worth it.
You do have a dilemma. This is what I would do if you are truly determined to put your kids in a different school.
I assume you are a home owner and would have to sell your home before you could move in any way. Houses are not selling well now and most that are getting offers are finding them to be lower than expected. In OKC homes that were worth over $300K a couple of years ago are for sale for less than $200K and still on the market. The offers they are getting are for $150-$175. Less than the home owners owe on the homes. My sister has been trying to sell her house for a while and they have been looking for half a year. They have a buyers market because people are desperate to sell, even if they take a loss.
So you need to plan ahead. Get your home ready to sell. Get a Realtor and make the repairs and upgrades needed so it will at least make a reasonable offer. Then put it on the market. Once it sells you can then find an apartment in the school district you are wanting and can live like that for some time. You’ll have a lot more pull to get in the school if you actually live in that district perhaps.
So there is a lot to do before you even think of making plans to move.
I think you need to look at the numbers and let them help you decide. The numbers might make the decision for you.
If you were to move and currently own your house, would you be able to sell at a profit or at least break even? Or would you have to short sell?
If you move, can you realistically afford to buy in the area you want and is what you think you would make realistic after you consider FT childcare for two children plus after-school care for you oldest, plus possibly before-school care, plus possibly extended K if your district doesn’t provide full-day K for free?
Would it be possible to rent in the new school district on your husband’s salary instead of buying? That might buy you a few more years at home.
What’s so awful about the current school district? What can YOU do to make it better? Is it fundamentally broken or just in need of some parental involvement? Do all children do poorly or is it really a demographic issue? In some areas, schools appear to under-perform because a substantial percentage of children are in situations where it’s hard to succeed (uneducated, uninvolved or severly over-worked parents, ESL, poverty). My brilliant cousins went to public school in an underperforming urban school district grades K-5 but they did very well anyway and went on to a prestigious public exam school from grades 6-12. Even at the lousy school they were able to find a peer group of other kids whose parents were educated and heavily invested in their children’s education.
Finally, is private school an option for now? Again, a few years of a private school for your oldest might buy you a few more years at home or perhaps working part-time to cover that tuition vs. uprooting the whole family.
Can you describe what is so “bad” about the school? Usually having a parent present in their lives way outweighs a somewhat better school, if you have the option to stay home right now. Your kids are still very young.
Unless you are talking about guns and violence, I would like to know what is so bad about that school that you would rather have your two year old raised by someone else, when s/he would rather be with you.
Now if you have to work because you need the money, or if you crave working, that’s another story. But you are going to sacrifice the needs of your two year old for a somewhat better school for your older one. That doesn’t make sense to me.
And not all high-test score schools are better. I took my kids out of one of the highest testing schools in the area, that was boring the crap out of them, and put them in a lower testing school which challenged them in many other ways, and which they loved and excelled in.
So basically, I want to know what’s so bad about this school.
ETA: Sorry - I don’t read ahead…looks like I said much of what others said!!
Okay - education is IMPORTANT. However, you, yourself are going for your RN. Can you work and do the RN degree at the same time?
There are several things I would do. I would:
Talk to the bank and find out how much of a loan we qualify for.
Go to via greatschools.net to see which schools would work for me and my family.
Find out how much houses go for in that district.
Is there one that fits my family?
How would it change our lives?
How would this impact my husband’s commute to and from work.
Check into private schools.
Check to see if we can qualify for grants or scholarships at the private school that works for me and my family.
If you go back to work, you will need to figure in:
a. cost of daycare - will you make enough to cover day care costs, taxes, etc.?
b. can you afford the gas - food - wear and tear on the car to go back and forth to work?
c. what about personal maintenance…clothing, hair, makeup, etc.? Yeah, it’s those things…
If the answer to those questions is - no - then I would home school my child. I am already at home. I would find out the state laws regarding home schooling and look around my area and see if there is a home schooling network, as there are some subjects I am not good enough at to teach my child.
Get your ducks in a row. KNOW your information - costs, etc. - then make the decision from there.
I drive my daughter to a school 16 miles away. She’s in 5th grade, so I’ve been doing this for more than 5 years. It’s really not that far to have her go to a great school. Driving seems much easier than moving AND getting a job and dealing with daycare. Then, if a spot opens up in the closer school, you could decide to move her there.
When my son was in kindergarten last year his school was a D school. It even looked like a prison. With that said his teacher was AMAZING! She really made learning fun for the class. My friend moved out of that school to go to a “better” one and she even said the teacher was awful. My point is you don’t need the best school, because even the “worst” schools have great teachers. Your husband needs to be on the same page about moving and it sounds like he’s not.
Do you have any private schools in your area that have better scores that your kids can attend? That might be more affordable than to move, and might be affordable without an extra salary. If you get a job, after all, you’ll have to pay for childcare for 2 kids. Paying private school tuition for a kindergartener should be more affordable than paying for 2 kids’ childcare expenses.
ETA: I do drive my son about 15 miles a day for school, because we plan to move near that school in the next few years and I wan’t him to have a continuous school experience. For us, 15 miles is about a 30 minute trip, since it is local roads. I find it worth the drive and time.
If you’re a SAHM, have you considered homeschooling? At least for kindergarten and then maybe you can move if you decide you don’t like it. Everyone has their opinions, I know, but studies have shown conclusively that homschooling (with the 1:1 student/teacher ratio vs. 30:1 in public schools) results in extremely welll-educated and successful kids. And because the attention your child gets is one-on-one, they can learn the same amount in a tiny fraction of the time it would take in a traditional school. Kindergarten shouldn’t take more than an hour a day and that’s for a GREAT education! Just something to think about…
I never homeschooled my kids, though I did work hard to get them school ready. If I were you, I’d consider homeschooling. Your options are very limited if you can’t afford to move. If you own your house, it’s a big endeavor to sell it. You have to have it ready to show all the time - hard with 3 little ones.
It’s going to be hard for you if you don’t eventually move. You can help yourself a great deal by downscaling as if you ARE going to move. Get rid of stuff you don’t need, fix things that will need to be fixed in order to sell your house, check the tax laws as to what you can use as a deduction and what the timeline is for the deduction. Talk to a realtor and ask questions, including what would help and what wouldn’t, in terms of prepping your house for selling.
If you will not be able to sell your house for enough, waiting for a few years may be what you need to do. If the test scores are the only reason why you don’t want to send your daughter to school, you could work hard with her at home to teach her in addition to getting used to handling school itself. Then when you can afford to sell the house, she would be ready.
I’m a little confused – “We don’t have another school to send her too unless we plan to travel 10-15 miles out of our way.” 10-15 minutes of travel time out of your way doesn’t sound like much. Is that school seriously not an option?
I think you have some great advice so far. My recommendation is to set up some time to go talk to the principal of the school and tour the kindergarten rooms (well, the whole school).
When my oldest was in Pre-k I was under the impression that our school was not a good school and was kicking around the idea of private school. I took the time to meet with the principal, discuss test scores, how they work with the kids, the number of ESL, how do they handle children who don’t speak English in the classroom, what kinds of tests do they take, curriculum, reading scores, etc, THEN I toured the school (they had a REAL school garden, interactive and present teachers, great lessons going on and overall a great multi-dimensional learning environment). I would not have known ANY of this had I not set up time to talk and tour.
So, as you are weighing your options, go ahead and learn more about your neighborhood school. So much more to the school than test scores:) If you have done this and found it sub-par - OK - just offering my insight.
With those ages you want life the least stressful as possible.
I would send the child to the kindergarten close to home. Test scores measure the general intelligence of the population at the school. So you can have a smart child and send them to a low performing school; it won’t change the fact he’s smart. Or you can have a child who isn’t highly intelligent and send him to a school with high test scores…it won’t make him a star. In kindergarten, you are not “not giving your child the best” based on the school’s test scores.
In later elementary school, middle and high school, low test scores can indicate a school culture that isn’t what most people would pick, even violence. But kindergarten? I would not worry.
I can’t imagine going more than 2 miles to get to a school with my little ones! You know the whole drill, the car screaming, the dangerous roads, the freezing cold, etc. Don’t stress, and make life easy right now. Good luck!
Why does the school have lower test scores? I’m pretty sure there is more to it that just the teachers/programming. Where I live the schools all have equal resources, so the only difference is the make-up of the student body. The test score are a reflection of the students, not the school. In areas of lower socio-economic status the test scores may be lower, but that has more to do with children having problems at home, more families with two parents working, or more families with no parents working, higher divorce rates, substance abuse in the homes etc. Children who go to these schools who have involved parents still do just fine. I think your children will benefit from having a stay at home parent more than they will from having to go to a school out of their district, and going to daycare.
Good luck!