Private vs Public School

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1

Hello Mamas,

My DD is almost 4 and we are planning on putting her in private school. Financially we can make it work but we are not exactly rolling in the cash here. Education is one of our top priorities and if a private school is better academically, then it is worth the investment to us. I went to a highly regarded public school and did not feel challenged (I left half way through to start college). I see social pit falls in both environments and feel it is our job to give her the skills to navigate either. I have 2 older SS who went to Jesuit Catholic schools and are now the most well rounded young adults I have seen. Of course, it is hard to separate the role school played in their development vs parenting but they didn't get sucked into the private school culture. We are not religious which has not been an issue. We are considering a non-religious private school for DD that focuses more on fostering creativity than traditional academic approaches. We are careful to do what is developmentally appropriate, for example, I don't see the benefit of her sitting at a desk memorizing multiplication tables in first grade. Nearly everyone I know is strongly for public school. I would love to believe that public school is a good option and save ourselves tens of thousands of dollars.

What are your reasons for choosing public or private school? Given the option, would you wait until middle school or high school before switching to private? I'm looking forward to reading different views on this topic!

TIA!

2

It really depends on where you live. In St Louis every Catholic church just about has a school. Not sure how many high schools there are but over 20.

The thing around here is the grade schools aren’t very challenging but the high schools blow the public, sans a few exceptional districts, away.

My older two went Catholic private all the way, one even did a Jesuit college. My younger two are on public because Andy has issues they just can’t handle in private schools. Given the choice all four of them would have done private all the way.

3

well our school system and the private school system in our area is amazing… our school is in the tri school area with the top test scores and the teachers are top notch… if we were living where we had lived before than we would have chosen private but since we moved and we love the school system we have decided to go public.

4

We have excellent public schools in our area and I’m a firm believer in you get out of education what you put into it. Parental involvement is also crucial and it sounds like you are one to be right there every step of the way. One thing that caught my attention was you thinking about switching your child’s school in middle or high school. A word of caution that that can be pretty hard on kids who have established their peer/friend group for 6,7, 8 years already. My best friend’s parents sent her to a private girls school in 7th grade and it was a big struggle for her socially.

Anyway, I guess it really depends on the strength of your local public schools. From what you’ve described in regards to creativity vs. traditional approaches to learning, it sounds like a montessori program is what you’re looking for. Oh, and 1st grade is too young for multiplication tables :wink:

5

I attended public school in Connecticut, and received an excellent education. When I had children, my husband and I chose to live in a house that we could have bought cheaper elsewhere, but we chose to live in an excellent school district in Virginia. I am glad that my kids went to public school, but would have chosen private school if the public schools did not live up to our expectations. Both of my children graduated from outstanding colleges, and my daughter finished her Master’s Degree with a 3.95 average from William and Mary (while she was working full-time) six months ago. Go with your instincts after researching the school district you live in now. That should help you make an educated decision. Best of luck!

6

My husband and I both attended public school and received a great education. We grew up in an affluent area with A+ schools. I taught before having children in a public elementary school and it was okay (I taught in a rural area). We are very pro-public school. Our son started school in a Catholic preschool and we thought we would move (military) after he finished kindergarten, so we kept him at the Catholic school. We will actually move next summer–when he finishes 2nd grade. The school is AMAZING! But, I know of plenty of private schools that are not worth the money. So, it really depends on the school. When we move next year, we are open to private or public.

7

If we could afford private we would, we live in San Jose too. I went to public in Cupertino and had a great education. We are going for Charter schools. If you can afford private and are happy with the school, I say go for it.

8

We have done both. I’ll say this - public school teachers are extremely well-trained to do what they do, and they have many more resources at hand than most private school teachers do. However, at public school, the parents are just not as supportive and involved. My kids are currently in a well-regarded public school, and it is definitely not as challenging for them as private school was, however the classroom environment is more conducive to learning (the teachers seem to have better control over the classrooms, on average). We have been pretty lucky, in our two years in public school, to have had some excellent teachers, but even the most excellent teachers can only teach what they’re allowed to teach. For instance, my daughters’ school doesn’t have music, art, or foreign language (thank you, budget cuts) - so I have to teach those on my own outside of school. Those classes were part of the curriculum at the private school they went to previously.

So, it really depends upon the school and the teacher, in my experience. Just because a school is public or private doesn’t make it great. Likewise, your child’s individual needs and learning style should come into play as well. My best advice would be to go visit each of the schools you’re considering. Spend as much time in the classroom as they’ll allow you to, so you can get a feel for how the school runs.

9

Well there are several reasons I choose public school. There one thing you really need to keep in mind when looking at private schools is they are not regulated like public schools and at least here in TX teachers at private schools do not have to have any certification or education. I know someone that teaches 4th grade I think at at private school that has not even had an entire year of jr college. I would not want her teaching my children. So be very selective when checking the schools out. And what they require!! I would not want to pay big bucks for uneducated individuals teaching my children.

10

ETA: Please do a complete check on the Waldorf school in your area. VISIT the school and WITNESS how they teach. Mallory is correct- kids usually come out of this environment significantly behind in basic academic skills. Unfortunately, in the real world, you have to do and learn things that don’t exactly “interest” you… Even in Kindergarten… Proceed with caution…

LeeLee said it so well. You get what you put into it. It also depends on your public school district.

In my area, the public schools are far better than any private school in this area in terms of technology, curriculum and in our district alone, more than 75% of the teachers have a Master’s Degree or higher.

That said, cross over a few blocks from here and you have a different story entirely. Private schools are about the only option.

Educate yourself about the schools in your area. Check their websites, ask around. Look at parent involvement (check out the PTO/PTA websites for the school). Then weigh out the pros and cons and I think your decision will come to you.

I would also caution against moving in middle or high school- I had to change schools three times when I was in high school. I survived because I was a very social person back then, but it was very difficult. I would never do that to my kids!

It’s a tough decision and only one that you can make! Good luck!

11

I had a feeling you were talking about Waldorf. Be very careful here-my friends had their kids in a Waldorf and always raved about it. Well, when they decided to put their kids in Pittsburgh Public (NOT a good district at all) they were grade levels behind in math. Apparently at Waldorf you get to work on what “interests” you and math did not interest his girls. Why don’t you look into PRe K and Kindergarten. Had I stayed in the city I was considering this for my son as they do have a neat program-just not strong academically. While creativity and the arts are nice you need a good strong foundation in the basics more.

12

It just really depends on the school. You can have excellent public schools and crappy private schools, and have it the other way around. You need to tour the schools around you and see if it would be a good fit for your child and your family. Around us there are many good charter schools which are still pubic schools so they are tuition free and score very highly with the state.
I also think education is what you make of it. I know of two boys that went to a Regis jesuit high school that is near here. It is about 13,000 a year to attend. One boy went on to college and got an accounting degree and is now very successful and working in London and often traveling to NY and other very cool places. The other boy also went onto college and I think did okay and is now working as a banker at a credit union which you do not need a degree for. So, its all what the student makes of these educations!

13

This is such a confusing topic for me. I look for guidance here too. I am only now trying to figure out where to send our 3.5 year old. I agree with the idea that if you want go private, it might not be as important until the later years. And I absolutely agree that we get what we give for our childrens’ education… and not just in dollars. I think there are many negligent parents in this category in both private and public circles. Children need their parents, not just their parents money.

Mostly, as a citizen I really believe that there needs to be good, free education for all children and the only way to ensure this is to use the system. It can’t be good or even improve if everyone’s deserting it. Which means I will most likely enroll my children into public schools, even if they’re not perfect. That said, if we end up needing something more fined tuned to our child’s potential needs, we’ll search until we find it… be it public, private, whatever.

The one thing that has never made sense to me and I’m tired of hearing especially in the public school systems is the whole ESL issue for grade schoolers. That having non-English speakers is an epidemic drain on teachers/classrooms. My long-time teacher friend finally convinced me it’s bunk. That kids at that age are so bright and learn language(s) so quickly that they’ve often learned English by second grade and the idea that they can do any long term damage to English speaking students’ education is just not the case. I’m not only convinced but hopeful my English speaking kids have the opportunity to pick up any other languages that happen to be floating around the classroom.

14

At least tour your neighborhood schools. We were pleasantly surprised by the charter school in our neighborhood and just finished a great kindergarten year with them.

15

It would depend on how your public schools are and how they are rated. I would at least visit the school where your daughter would attend and get a feel for the school, staff, teachers, etc. Go to a PTA meeting, see how involved the parents and volunteers are.

For us, we are in public school BUT we are in a highly rated district (reason we moved here). The schools along the way for our daughter have all been exceptional, recognized on the state and national level as good schools. Our daughter’s Sr. high school is rated in the top 1% of the country and is in the top 100 best high schools in America. That said, we love our public school and she is getting a very good education, very challenged. About 98% of her graduating class of 1100+ go on to 4 yr colleges and military colleges.

Now, if we lived in the Dallas disctrict, per say… she would have been private all the way through.

There is a fine balance between the 2. We prefer daughter to be more well rounded, learn to be around and work with all types of students because you can’t keep them under a rock once they are college bound and beyond. We like the diversity of people and how she learns to get along with and work with everyone. She knows, you may not like someone but you may be in their study group so you have to get over it and learn how to deal effectively.

Public school has prepared her well for her college career. Also, a lot of the prepping is done at home with a stable, secure family who support her 100%.

Public vs Private sometimes draws a lot of controversy. Bottom line, you have to make the decision that is right for your family.

16

We are enrolling our daughter in a private Catholic school this fall when she starts kindergarten. I went back and forth about it for quite a while, since the public school district is the same one where I went to school, and I did just fine, but apparently now things have changed. Not so much the curriculum, but issues with discipline and drug activity, especially at the high school level.

The elementary schools are still okay, but it’s in middle school and high school that the problems begin. I could have just kept DD in public until 6th grade, then switched, but I figured she would be better prepared if she was in private from day 1. She would not potentially be behind academically and hopefully have many of the same friends instead of having to get into a whole different peer group. I liked that at the school we chose, the kids have higher expectations made of them, are held to a higher standard, and that it’s “cool to be a nerd.” I like that the classroom sizes will be smaller and hopefully kids will be less disruptive. I like that there is more parent involvement and programs like art, music and gym are standard, rather being subject to possible budget cuts. I like that the kids do get some religion instruction and are held to a higher moral authority. I like that uniforms are required, rather than the kids just wearing whatever they want and that being another distraction from learning.

Like others have said, it really just depends on how good your public school system is, and what private schools in the area have to offer, and what will be the best “fit” for your child and your family.

17

I have a perspective on both, as my older daughter attended public school and my younger one is now in private. We have a horrible pubic school system, so take that into consideration as you read what I have to say.

(here) we have an extremely low public school budget. Let’s start with it being a transient town and there is no denying a student, so they could miss their income per student if a student enters the school year late. However, that is not the big problem. The budget is low and they continue to cut it. Cuts are voter approved because it doesn’t snow…that’s right because it doesn’t snow. We have a large population of snow birds, who don’t want to pay extra tax for education, because they don’t have kids in school. There are a lot of other reasons why the budget is low, which I will refrain from comment.

The low budgets cause teachers salaries to be extra low. The income works for a graduating student or a teacher who loves what they do. Eventually, they cut salaries and layoff so many that eventually they leave the district and find other work. Those that stay have to use out of pocket money to do their job and make it fun to learn. So like I said, they must love their job.

So since I am currently in a situation where I can afford it, I didn’t want my child subject to over crowded classes and the downward rolling effect of a district that doesn’t care.

(here) private schools are the best option. I love it here in LV, I am native to this town, but am well aware of our district. I wish I could say better.

As for uniforms, some of our schools here use uniforms and some don’t. I don’t know that a uniform helps “uniform” the students because there are still clicks.

In the private school my daughter is at, I feel it is a nice small group of kids. All the parents are getting to know each other well and help each other out. I don’t recall this same camaraderie when I was in school, nor when my older daughter was in school. As for PTA type organizations, it seems they are a lot more involved at the private school than they were in the public school. All of the SAHM’s seem to participate in the school activities and field trips and jump in to help out with the student’s whose parents work.

The academic approaches so far in the private school have been through song and interaction. It’s kindergarten, so far it has been fun. I learned my multiplication in public school by learning a times table chart. In fact, I recall being in trouble for not knowing the whole chart, yet I didn’t know the meaning of multiplication. While it is advanced, my (young) daughter will get on the iPad and enter into a multiplication app and ask me what 3 “x” 3 is and I make her work it out. I hold up 3 fingers and make her count it 3 times without restarting. She gets it. The same goes for geography. When we hear a new state, country, or province, we go look it up on the map and then find our home on the globe and travel around the globe to that place. She gets it. Priv school has taught her the continents so far by their 7 pods being named a continent. With that they had interactions with the map. The rest we have learned at home. I didn’t work on any geography in pub school until 4th grade.

The sports in priv school are played against other Cath schools. There isn’t much going on there, but the Cath HS here does play sports against the other pub schools. Our school has an open house and all of the coaches and art & music teachers are available to tell about their clubs and get the students signed up. That is not something I saw at the pub school when my older daughter attended.

With that said, I am an advocate for private school here. If I were somewhere else and the schools were better, I would look into the pub schools. If I reach a point where I cannot afford priv school here, I will make use of one of the many priv tutors like Sylvan or Kumon. I wish I could have at least have done that for my older daughter, but I worked for every crumb of food on our table, so I didn’t have extra money or time.

I think you have to take everyones comments into consideration and dig into your school district and see what is there. Mine was a no brainer.

Edit - You can also go on the website for the pub school district and private schools and get their curriculum. There wasn’t such access to the WWW when my older daughter was in school, but I did this with the younger one and we were able to introduce her to these subjects before she was in school. As well, I have already done this once and I have a little heads up, so good for you for asking questions. You may be able to contact your private schools and have your child assessed to see where she/he stands in their assessment.

Best of luck.

18

I’m answering late, but have a couple of thoughts here. First off, my own children went to public school. We had a wonderful local school and I was able to volunteer several days a week, so I had a good idea of what was being taught and the culture of the school. This was a ‘few’ years ago. Now we have grandchildren who are in public school and the situation for them is similar.
However, we have another grandchild who is starting this year and will be going to a private Christian school. His mother, our DIL, went to a private school and wanted that for him. She also is concerned with some of the new laws about what must be taught in the schools regarding sexual preferences and other subjects.
I went with our DIL to look over the options in our area. We settled on a school that seems to have our philosophy about teaching children. Another benefit of this particular school is that they have a scrip program that helps the parents pay their tuition. Our family is heavily into buying scrip for most of our shopping needs now. This school has it set up so that the proceeds from our purchases go directly into an account for our grandson’s tuition rather than to a general fund that benefits the school.
One more thing regarding our search for a private school. I notice that you say you are looking into the Waldorf schools. We looked at one in our area as well and were quite well impressed with the facilities and a lot of the teaching plans. However, when we did a bit more looking into their philosophies, we found some things that disturbed us a lot. You might want to take a second look and be sure they are really what you want. Since your other option seems to be a Catholic school, I have a feeling that the Waldorf schools would not be a good choice for you. Their philosophies seem pretty much opposite to Catholic teaching.

19

I think the number of children i have would impact my decision too. If i only had one i would be willing to send him to one of the private schools i went to as a kid. They are extremely expensive, yet i feel it could be an option with one (everyone’s finances are different). I have 2, so we decided to move to an area with a high ranking public school through HS (i am also very familiar with some families and the pros/cons). One major pro is being in an environment where the parent value education and have resources to help their children succeed (my kids will be around other high achieving students). The con to me is a little too much disposable income and the child does not understand the value of a dollar.

Another friend of mine is living in a nice area, yet not a good school district and rationalized sending her 3 kids to a less expensive Catholic school ($6K a year vs $18K per child at the other private kinder-5th grade and it doubles for HS). i went to the later, and now as an adult know several classmates who have ‘made it’ and others who are still a financial burden on their parents (i talking about over age 30!). She said she liked the idea of the private lower school because the kids get more attention in private vs public and then send them to a bigger public school as they have more options (band, cheerleading, clubs w/ diverse groups of kids etc). This was her opinion. The neighborhood i just moved from has an awesome public school through 8th grade. Many families choose it and then send their children to a private high school. They feel it is more focused for college and less distractions (private can be selective and the kids who don’t want to be there are asked to leave). I think we as parents need to set the bar higher to avoid the dead beat adults children regardless of the school.

i decided not to look at the montessori school for my son because i didn’t want to fall in love with it. It was well over our budget for preschool. i do not know too much about Waldorf. One friend (she is a teacher) had he son in one and there was an issue with another family (this is off topic, but here is my point) she pulled him out and place him in the public school my son will be starting. He tested lower at first because Waldorf does not not focus on standardized test. In the same year he was place in the GATE program (after learning how to play the testing game). My point is if you decided to switch from Waldorf give your child a crash course in standardized testing.

20

my daughter is in kinder at a A+ public school. It is not our district and we chose to send her to this public school. I have made a point to be in the school and in the classroom as much as possible this year.\

ther are 20 kids in the class… 8 or more are struggling… the school does a great job trying to catch them up. they are pulled out of class for extra help with a reading specialist. the average to above average kids do not get any special help because they dont need it.

I am one of 2 parents that consistently volunteers in the classroom. the other 18 parents will show up for a part once or twice a year.

Maybe private school parents would be more invested and involved??