Maria -
I'm a "single mother by choice", which means I conceived my children artificially. There are TONS of older women who have conceived and had children at an older age. I, personally, did it when I was younger (first at 32, second at 37). But, we have a group and there are TONS of women that are mostly in there 40's that have had children. GO see a fertility specialist and work with them to have a child. You are more likely to hit your cycle and "get it right" the first time if you have someone helping you. They can help you track your ovulation and even determine if the egg is the right size. For my first child, I just tracked my own ovulation and did fine. For my 2nd child, because I was older, my eggs were older and they put me on Clomid to increase the size of my eggs and then they gave me a shot to force the release of my egg. There are SO many things a fertility specialist can do to help you conceive more quickly. I saw Dr. Le in Irving and he was wonderful.
I'm 42 and planning on one more but I was bithering & going round and round - My mother was able to solve this question for me. She asked me if in 10 years I would be sad if I hadn't tried or had another child and my body gave an overwelming response from deep within that I would be very SAD & be missing something... and was it for me.. so I am spending a few months to get myself healthy & detoxed... and also giving my husband lots of 'healthy food & fruit' for the next months.. I hope the question helps you.
There are two kinds of age - biological and chronological. You already know your chronological age. Perhaps you might like some help in accurately assessing your biological age with regard to conception? Some women are like 45 at the age of 35. Others are like 35 at the age of 45. Usually depends on diet and nutrition, exercise, emotional health, stress management, toxic build-up in the body, genetic influences, etc.
Dr. Margaret Christensen is a great local doctor who can help you with a preconception evaluation. www.christensencenter.com. She will not dismiss your dreams out of hand or speak in a way that disheartens you. You might give her a try. Ask to be put on the waiting list if you have trouble getting an appointment.
Listen to yourself. Read your request. What you want is spelled out right there. I have three, one very young and I still want more. Everyone I know says why; don't you have enough. What is wrong with them I wonder? Can a mother not enjoy her role and children so much as to desire more? Being a mom is so rewarding. You have every right to try and concive. My opinion is god gave us the gift of motherhood. You will not have what he doesn't want you to. So, use all the resourses you have to bring another child into your life if that is what you desire. As far as the question about being too old...your ovulating aren't you? Not that it matters but it is reassuring. Pray about it;then enjoy trying.
Unless you have medical problems that you didn't go into, I don't understand why conceiving at 43 would be so difficult. If you and your husband want another child, then go for it. You are certainly not too old. Good luck to you and your family!!
By all means have another baby-God is in charge and if you get pg it is because he did it-not you. So ask him for a baby and then do all you can to make it happen. You are not too old, even for adoption.
Vickie
Lots of people have said that you should do what is right for you and what you want. But, keep in mind that having another child isn't just about you. It's about your spouse, your current son, and your entire support system. What about this yet-to-be-conceived child? Are you willing to put him or her at greater risk for birth defects? Do you have a support system in place that can withhold the financial, physical, and emotional roller-coaster of a child with special needs? An acquaintance of mine has a known genetic predisposition for a specific birth defect (her first child has the defect and deals with this on a daily basis). Although the chances of her next child having the defect are 50/50, even that risk was too much for them. They recently adopted a child and couldn't be happier. There are thousands of children in the US and throughout the world that need a family - maybe this is your chance to give a child the family it wouldn't have had otherwise. Children don't have to be related by blood to be siblings, and mothers don't have to give birth to love and care for a child.
I am a 39 yr old mother of one 4 year old, concieved through insemination. My son was born with a birth defect that was corrected with surgery. I too got pregnant again, without assistance but miscarried. My doctor sent the tissue of the fetus to a lab which told them information about chromosomes and why the baby did not survive. I won't bore you with all that however, my doctor sent me to another doctor that specializes in genetics. Based on what they found in the fetal tissue and including my history, they gave me info about my chances of carrying a baby to full term and the chance the baby would be born with a birth defect. I was told in a range of percentages the likelihood that I would carry a baby to term again and the likelihood the baby would be born healthy. For me, my history spoke loud enough. Even though my 4 year old is healthy now, I did not ever want to go through again what I went through the day my now 4 year old was born. This has to be your decision, well thought out.
Unfortunately, women aged 35+ have lower chances of getting pregnant even via IVF, also cos of aneuploidies that are the reason of mcs, failed implantation, Down syndrome, etc. I would recommend visiting a fertility specialist to do tests, check egg and sperm quality, also do karyotyping to be sure there are no issues. In this site, you will find more info on how to prepare to ttc, age limits, their pros and cons, etc.: Fertility Road - IVF Treatment Explained By Top Experts Good luck on your journey.