Mommies,
Here is my problem. It took me 10 months to get pregnant with my daughter and I thought it would be easier this time around…wrong! We started trying in May and now in September we started using ovulation predicators, noting when we have had sex etc. I'm at the point of frustration. To make things worst, all of my friends have become pregnant starting in May and I feel like there is something wrong with my husband or me. I know the stats say 89% of people get pregnant in the first year but why is it easier for some and not others. I feel like I'm the only one that has to try. My husband and I are both healthy people. Does anyone have any advice with trying to get pregnant or similar stories? I know I will eventually get pregnant it's just getting there and feeling very disappointed because I'm so excited to become pregnant again.
There is a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It explains a lot about the woman's body and how to help get (or not get) pregnant.
You didn't say how old you are, but if you're over 35 and been trying for 6 months you should consider seeing a doctor about your fertility.
Good luck!!
Taking Juice Plus helped me, along with knowing my cycle. Also, reduce any stress in your life, even if you think you don't have much, I'm sure there is some stress. Take more walks, etc. Worked for me. Hope this helps. Good luck to you.
Hi Amanda!All I can say is you have to TRY not to worry about it and "stop trying"if you just kind of be aware of when your ovulating then go for it,and you shouldnt have sex everyday,do it everyother(when ovulating)his sperm count lowers when "used too much"lol...so be patient and no worries,if you have regular 28day cycles then you ovulate 2weeks from the 1st day of your period,BUT-your most fertile days are usually day 12-18,confussing I know.So if the first day of your period starts on 10/8 then your ovulation would be 10/22...but start having sex on the 19th and do it untill the 24th everyother day!!(considering you have 28-30day cycles).Well, now that I have made you crazy...try to enjoy and dont be discouraged:),If you google ovulation you can find great sites to help you understand easier!!Take care!!Oh-take a prenatal vitamin too/tons of water!!
It took me 3 months to get pregnant with my son, than we started trying again when he turned a year, got pregnant right away, had a miscarriage, than tried for 11 months and not pregnant. Just took two months off of "trying" and now we are trying again. For some people, its just not that easy. VERY FRUSTRATING!!! Good luck.
Hi Amanda - I remember feeling like everyone else except me was pregnant right before I got pregnant with my oldest daughter. I am a teacher, and it is VERY female-dominated, so every day it seemed someone else was announcing their news! The good news is, even though it took about 5-6 months to get pregnant with my oldest, my youngest was conceived the second time we tried. I actually was not ready for it to happen as quickly as it did the second time because I was banking on it taking 6 months again! Sometimes when you least expect it, it can happen. I know plenty of women for whom pregnancy seems to come "easy", but also many who tried for quite a while. I used the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler to chart and track my body temperature, and it worked great for me and really helped me understand when my body was ready during those peak times. In addition to that, as hard as it can be, I suggest not focusing too much on it. When you let go a little, the stress leaves you too and I really think that helps in the long run. Enjoy having your one child now, because when you do have two you will look back and realize having one was very different!! Good luck and hang in there!
I first want to say that I totally empathize - I was 24 when we started trying for our daughter, and it took 12 months. Did the whole fertility work-up and everything, and were about to start with the fertility drugs when it just happened. In addition to sympathy, two quick bits of advice. 1) do a fertility work-up if you haven't already. Maybe there is something going on. 2) Ovulation predictors work much much better if you use them at night instead of the morning (unlike pregnancy tests). Good luck.
This may be a little too private or personal to say but I did read some where that whether or not a woman reaches climax during sex does have an affect on the chances she has on getting pregnant. I guess if the female reaches her climax there is an increased chance of pregnancy and I forget the explanation...but could be fun to make sure you are trying for that each time! Good Luck!
You need to relax!!!
Stress and anxiety are your two worst enemies when trying to get pregnant! It took you ten months before, but it happened, right? So, we have proof it's possible.
Why do some people get knocked up so easily and others don't? Luck of the draw. Some people get knocked up when you mention the word "pregnant" or "baby" in the same room. Others need medical intervention. There's no telling. So don't go jumping to the "there's something wrong with us" place just yet.
I've heard accupunction works wonders. And for now? Just enjoy the "trying" part of it ;)
The only advice I can give is to get the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler.
I thought I understood my cycle etc. until I read this book, starting taking my temp and charting my cycle. Then I discovered that I was ovulating earlier in my cycle than originally thought. I also realized through the charting that the OP kits didn't indicate that I ovulated until AFTER I had. (I guess the hormones where there but the window for fertilization had passed) So I stopped spending $$ on OP kits and watched my chart and got pregnant on the cycle that I FINALLY understood what was going on.
Also did acupuncture, which may or may not have contributed.
Good Luck!
talk to your obgyn.. you had a child so they may be able to help you along with a second.. good luck
Amanda,
I think the key is to stop comparing yourself to your friends. I know that is easier said than done. I actually have no problems getting pregnant and was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant at the same time as a dear friend of mine. Then we had a miscarriage...I was sooo sad. But my friend went on to have a healthy baby. I too luckily got pregnant about 3 months later and had a very healthy beautiful baby boy. My point is that looking back I am actually glad I did not have a January baby...ours was born in June. And had it not been for the miscarriage I would not have had my most amazing baby. I absolutely believe that everything happens for a reason. SO...just keep trying and try to continue enjoying the trying process. You know you have had a good pregnancy, so chances are it will happen.
I wish you much luck...and hope this helps!
Helen Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 15 month old boys)
There are a lot of issues with secondary infertility. If you are concerned obtain a referral from your PCP and make an appointment with a fertility specialist. You will still have a few more months of trying on your own because you won't get an appointment for a bit. There are A LOT of options available to help you. Hang in there.
Stacy
Hi Amanda- It took me a long time to get pregnant with #2 also. I was using the ovulating kits no luck. MY OB recommended that I start plotting my basal body temp. Yes it is a total pain, but I found that I was ovulating 3 days later than I thought I was. I highly recommend fertilityfriend.com. It is a free site, but you get many more benefits if you pay the $16 fee. It is a website where you can plot your temp each day and it will graph it for you and notify you when your 3 best days are for getting pregnant. I got pregnant 2 months after I started using the website.
Lastly, you might want to have a conversation with your Ob about clomid. Once you have been charting your temp, if you are still not pregnant, clomid will force your body to release an egg.
P.s. when you have a little one in the house, it is hard to remember to take your temp BEFORE you get out of bed. Sometimes, I would jump out of bed and go to my son. I found that if I woke before my son, I would take my temp, even if I was going to lay in bed a little longer.
GOod luck
I had trouble as well. It took over 10 months. Went to acupuncture, and got pregnant the same month. Also, a few other things to help are: when men drink to much it can kill there sperm for a bit of time, so he will have less. Can only be one night of drinking a lot. If you don't not have regular periods get tested for PCOS. And the biggest thing is try not to stress. Which is hard, but that plays a very big factor as well.
I know it may seem silly, but stop thinking about it. With my first, I was so anxious to get pregnant. I was taking pregnancy tests before I was even late for my period. It seemed as soon as I stopped going crazy over it, it happened. The same thing happened to my aunt. She tried for 10 years to get pregnant. Her dr finally told her that one of her ovaries was no good and she would never get pregnant. 2 months later she was pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope everything works out for you
HI- if your ovulation seems normal then it might be a matter of your thyroid. Often women's thyroid is thrown off after having a child which can impact getting pregnant. But since it took you 10 months before perhaps it is a matter of beig patient... which is hard. Maybe ask your doctor if a blood test is worth it.
Hi Amanda - Just a couple quick thoughts... I definitely agree with picking up a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler AND even moreso, taking a step back and relaxing a bit. WAY easier said than done, but you gotta just let go a little bit and have faith that it will happen. Also, and maybe this is just me, try having sex in the morning or earlier in the day (if possible) rather than at night. I don't recall where I heard/read this, but I've heard that sperm are essentially fresher & more 'awake' in the morning. In my case, I do believe that I got pregnant in the morning with both kids! And yes, make sure he's cutting his drinking (if he drinks at all)... that should help the cause and speed up those swimmers!
I just went through the same exact thing. My first was a total accident, conceived after 2 months off BC--not even trying. We started trying to get pregnant w/ #2 in APRIL when my son was 17 months, got pregnant in July after a few months of MEGA frustration. A couple strategies:
1) Try to relax. Join a book club, a gym or a yoga class. I started doing yoga (from the on demand exercise channel on COMCAST) a few times a week to clear my head and center. I think that 5000 years of practice has to have some merit.
2) Try to have "baby making time" from day 10-20 of your cycle. If you can do it everyday, that's great, but definitely having it every other day will increase your chances of loading the area w/swimmers.
3) If charting is making you crazy, stop doing it. It totally made me crazy, but when my doc said to have sex days 10-20 of my cycle, it took some of the pressure off of charting and it happened easier.
4) Take care of yourself. Sort of goes along w/ the yoga thing. Eat VERY well--lots of dairy, fruits and veggies. All those vitamins, minerals and antioxidants all help in the quest to make a baby.
5) Have fun. Buy some fancy lingerie, toys or videos to keep the baby dancing fresh. Your man will appreciate it and it will help his count. Erotica is good for making sperm! Roll play, be creative!
Good luck and stay positive! 95% of ttc is in your head!
Rachael
Mommy to Wyatt, 23 mos.
I'm so sorry to hear about your frustration. As hard as it is, RELAX. Enjoy the time with your husband having sex. Don't make it into a chore. Also, have sex every other day. Thats what worked for me. My ovulation schedule is different from most women and maybe your husband's sperm doesn't stay alive long enough. Getting personal, I know and I'm sorry. You know you can get pregnant and your husband can do his part. So, when your done (and I know this sounds silly but it has worked for people I know) Prop your bum up on 2 pillows and your legs up in th air and allow the flow to go.