My 4 week newborn will not sleep in the crib. He will only sleep on my chest or on the bed. Need help. In addition he is very fussy, some days he will take a full 2 hour naps, other days he only takes short one hour naps. Hence I am always holding him. Need advice desperately.
He needs warmth, comfort, movement and a sense of being held; all things he had in the womb.
Swaddle him, give him a pacifier, white noise (fan, humidifier, my son liked the vacuum), darkness, try a swing. He is brand new and he needs helps feeling comfy cozy. This stage will not last long. Try and enjoy it.
Amy
You don't mention swaddling? My kids LOVED the swaddling technique when they were newborns. If you would like me to elaborate...please let me know,
Good luck!!
Geneene
P.S. My kids were all on a set schedule for naps and were sleeping thru the night after 2 months old.
My advice - Try a Moses basket. The crib is a HUGE open space, and a Moses basket is a warm, cozy place to sleep. If you don't have one look at Target or Walmart for the $30 ones (there are $100+ ones out there too). My son slept in a Moses basket in our bedroom and then in the Moses basket in his crib and then when he outgrew the basket he was fine sleeping in his crib because he was used to the room already.
Also, put him into the basket when he starts to fall asleep so he gets used to falling asleep on his own - not in your arms. I would put my son in the basket and rub his belly at first, and then it got so I could just lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own.
It worked for my son, but all babies are different.
Good Luck!
I would recommend getting a moses basket with a stand. OUr baby wouldn't sleep well in the bassinet next to the bed. We haven't even made our way to the crib yet, and we found its just too big and too much space for a newborn right. He loves to be swaddled, more confined and feel like he's in the womb and the moses basket is a tight snuggly fit and he ends up sleeping longer, hes more relaxed and doesn't cry alot when he's in it. My husband and I were just talking about it tonight and saying how it is the best item we have for keeping the baby calm. I would highly recommend it until you reach the weight limit. The crib is probably just too big for now.
Babies love to be close to their moms in the ifrst few months. DId you try a bassinet or a co sleeper? I put my son in a bassinet until he was 2 monts and then put him in a crib and he did great. Maybe try music in his crib or one of those vibrating crib mattress things. Good luck!
try a bassinet or something. baby usually doesn't sleep in the crib for a while (3 months?). also try an infant swing or carseat or one of the bouncy seat things-i had one that fullyt reclined. welcome to motherhood!
Sabena- First off, congrats!!! Secondly, I hate to tell you but your baby's sleeping habits are totally normal! At that age, sleeping on Mommy is much better than anywhere else. He has been inside you for nine months, and with only 4wks out of the womb he is still trying to adjust to everything- he feels safest with you. I remember how draining it was when my daughter went through that phase. My suggestion to you is when you feel you need sleep too, let him sleep on you. And at other times keep trying to lay him down for naps wherever he sleeps at night. In other words, if he is sleeping at night in a bassinet next to your bed, then have him take his naps there- right now that is where his association with sleep is. My daughter was three months old before she started sleeping in her crib. They are still sorting out day and night and everything in between, hence the various sleep times. He probably won't establish nap times until about three months. Hang in there!
Good Luck,
Sara
my 5m old did the same thing! i loved having her sleep on me, but since i also have a 3 year old who needed me all day, it wasn't that easy to do all the time. for a nap once, i tried putting her on her stomach in the crib (i know, bad bad mommy), and keeping a VERY close eye on her, and she slept beautifully! for a few weeks i'd struggle at night, but put her on her stomach during the days so i could watch her. finally i felt comfortable enough by watching her (she'd always turn her head to the side, etc.) that i started putting her in that way at night. she's been a great sleeper since. i know the recommendations can drive you nuts, but i'm as paranoid as they come and it worked for us. good luck!
Both my kids were like this. It was like they just weren't comfortable in this world unless they were touching me. They both slept between me and hubby for the first month or so. Put him in a carrier like the bjorn or snuggli so your hands are free. He will outgrow this. Remember you bring him comfort and security. Set up your pack and play by your side of the bed. Every night once he's asleep move him to the pack and play. If he wakes move him back to your bed. Eventually he'll stay there. Then once he's comfortable in the pack and play you can start with the crib. Sometimes they just need to be able to smell you and hear your breathing. This is just a phase.
Well my 3 month old is the same way. We took her to the Dr the other day, she has bad gas issues, she has to take gas drops. While in the office though the Dr. preformed a rectal exam on her, let me tell you the explosion that occured. You might want to start with the gas drops, she might just be very bloated, because since that day my daughter has been an absolute dream, still not sleeping on her own, but at least now she's sleeping! lol Good luck.
With my 4th child I broke down and hired a baby nurse - for that exact reason. It had been 8 days and I felt that I hadn't put him down. He nursed all the time and slept in my arms or on my chest. So this woman, or should I say angel, took him from my arms and told me that his days of sleeping against my heartbeat were over - if I ever wanted to be able to put him down that is. And with 3 others, I needed to put him down! So she put him in infant boot camp and ALWAYS put him down. On his back, side and even tummy (shhhh, don't tell anyone!)and if he cried and needed to be picked up, she soothed him and promptly put him back down. Granted, it is easy for me to say, since I wasn't the one actually struggling with it, but after a couple of days, he realized he was no longer going to get to sleep on mommy's warm chest (right next to the food source too) and he adapted. You just need to stick with it. If he is not sleeping, put him in a swing, a bouncy seat, whatever. But you must stop letting him sleep on you and dedicate a couple of days to "re-training" him. I am happy to report that my beautiful, 3 month old son sleeps for at least 2 full naps a day and then from 10-7. My only other advice is to read, if you already haven't, by Tracy Hogg, i think, called secrets of the Baby whisperer. Her theories are very similar to the baby nurse that I had and I think she was magic! Good luck.
Hi Sabena,
Try putting a pillow or something soft with your scent on it right next to him that he can snuggle up to. Or wrap him in on of those snuggle sleepers to make him feel like he is being held. Also, are you putting him to bed on a full stomach or after a warm bath/"wipe down"? Doing this may help with the sleeping. This may also help, but I know some of the other mothers will disagree with me. Put him to sleep on his stomach. That worked for me.
How do you feel? Are you breast feeding? On demand?Do you have support? 4 weeks is a little young to be expected to sleep in a crib. Was he a preemie? My son woke up every two hours for about a year.
My other two were not as clingy. But perspective and what you need as personalspace is the issue. My youngest I breast fed exclusively and she was a good sleeper. Better than the other 2.
Cradle next to our bed until they were about 6 months old for all of them. Sleeping on chest for 2 the 3rd yes carried around. Tactileness is very important for an infant
Hi Sabena,
I have no idea if your child has the same reason for not sleeping as my daughter did. But, I'll tell you what I had to do, and it worked. My daughter could only sleep if she felt like she was being held snuggly. So, she slept ok in the hospital, when she was swaddled (which I never mastered, so that was not an option after I got home). And, the only other places she would sleep was her swing or her car seat. This went on for the first few months. Often, I was up in the middle of the night strolling her back and forth through my house with her in her infant seat in the stroller. Then I would wheel the stoller into my room and quietly crawl back into bed. No matter what I did, though, she still only slept for about 2 hours at a time when she was just a few weeks old. She was also a preemie, so she had to eat smaller amounts more times a day. Which, of course, meant that she was not sleeping for as long of stretches as other babies. Good luck! I know how tough this can be.
By the way, everything WILL work out eventually. Just hang in there!
This is really hard, but let him cry for a few nights. It will be very hard on you but they learn quickly at such a young age. Good luck!
Oh Sabena, my daughter will turn 1 next month and it seems like only yesterday that I had the same issue. A crib feels awful large and maybe a little scary to a 4 week old. I would first try swaddling and then maybe a bassinet to mimic your womb. Do not let him cry, he is too young for that. Oh, don't tell anyone this :-), but I put her to sleep on her tummy, she hated sleeping on her back and would cry until I turned her over. Congrats on your little guy.
Woe woe woe.... 4 weeks old? Definitely nip this in the bud now. When the baby is clearly sleepy, half asleep, put him in the crib. He will probably startle and that's okay. Stay with him, caress him with your hands- his head, his belly, etc. and his pacifier (assuming you're using one, it does help.). Get a heartbeat CD or whatever makes that sound. Even a little night pal like the glow worm helps. Even if he's crying somewhat, talk to him lovingly and re-assure him that mommy is here, keep caressing him and maybe even sing a soft lullaby. His sleep will get the better of him and he will get used to it a lot quicker then you think. If he is hysterical crying, pick him back up, soothe him and put him back down-continuing the verbal soothing and touching. If he's really determined, he might get to hard crying a few times- just repeat. Exhausting and draining for you, but worth it compared to the longer term consequences of not doing so now. If he's just doing the complaining kind of crying, just keep soothing him without picking him up. Furthermore, obviously make sure he is comfortable. Diaper is changed, doesn't have gas, etc. But stick with it! Also, if you don't already have an infant swing, it is well worth it. As much as I was addicted to my new baby, I was very much aware to put her down often because I knew what probs others have had. But when they're that young, you only really have the bouncy chair thing and an infant swing. My baby is now 7 months and she is a very secure baby, great with people but fully aware who mommy is, can be by herself for extended periods of time playing happily- even if I walk out of the room. etc. You can do it! Feel free to e-mail me if there's anything else related you want to ask. Good luck!
Welcome to mommyhood! Your baby is TOO YOUNG to cry it out. He is used to being cradled in your womb. So he has a big adjustment to make. Put him in a smaller space to sleep (bassinet, pack in play, or swaddle). It's normal for babies to sleep whenever and wherever they want the 1st 2 months. You won't spoil him if he sleeps with you. He doesn't know the difference yet and is just looking for comfort.
At first both of my boys slept with me when they wouldn't sleep in their crib. Now they are wonderful sleepers and they haven't been in my bed since they were 2 months old (one is 2 yrs old and the other is 6 months).
As for a nap schedule...your baby won't be on a "schedule" for at least another month. Plus, right when you think you have a schedule down, he'll go and change it on you. Believe me, I'm big on schedules with both of my kids. But you just have to learn to be flexible.
It will get easier! Good luck!
It is very normal for a newborn (0-3 mo) to need LOTS of contact, holding, snuggling, etc. As they say: You can not spoil a newborn!! Please DO NOT let him 'cry it out' at this young age!! There is a time for that, but not until he is older. I found that swaddling worked wonders for my son!! I recommend getting the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. It explains about swaddling, swinging, white noise, etc. and why they are so important in the world of the newborn. I found it to be a sanity saver and his gentle, wonderful methods WORKED!!!!! Hang in there. Hope this helps!