Hi Nancy.
At 2 years old, your daughter should have some words. I was in the same situation with my daughter too. I wasn't worried about her intelligence; she was/is very smart. She just wouldn't speak! We made an appointment with the Golden Gate Regional Center (I'm assuming you are in the East Bay, I'm not sure they deal with the East Bay, but they could certainly recommend their equivalent there. Perhaps it is the East Bay Regional Center you mention.)
It did take a few weeks to get them to call back, but once they did and we got the ball rolling, it goes relatively quickly. It is a free federally sponsored program, run locally.
Our daughter has been in speech therapy once a week since her second birthday. It will expire when she turns 3. She can still get help, but it will be through a different agency.
I have heard that children who are learning 2 languages can have a speech delay. I think it is wonderful that your child is being exposed to 2 languages. In my opinion, a speech delay is worth it to have your child speak fluently in 2 languages when she does speak. That's only my opinion, though, and not backed by scientific facts, etc.
Don't worry too much. Call the Regional Center again, and continue to do what you are doing. I think you are doing the right thing by being concerned, but try not to worry too much. I knew that my daughter wasn't autistic either, but I also sensed that she needed therapy. Like my mother-in-law told me, worse case scenario is that nothing is wrong and you've eased your mind.
Good luck.
Does she do baby talk? Not necessary understanding words, but babytalk? If so, don't worry, she'll start talking when she's ready. My husband has 2 nephews and they're both slow talkers, one is already 2 years old and 5 months, and still don't talk anything clearly, one started his first word when he was 3. Don't worry about the 2 languages, some how kids understand them both, or she will pick up the native language as her first, since she's w/ your in-law most of the day. Anyway, if she's happy, smiling/laughing, and do babytalk, she's just a slow talker, don't stress out or affraid she has Autism. For Autistic kids, they usually don't understand or communicate w/ you well, and also, they don't smile/laugh or do eye contact. And stop blaming yourself, just love her, talk to her, and enjoy playing with her.
There is also a form of autism called Asburgers which is a high spectrum autism I believe. Take a look into that. Hope that helps!
Hi Nancy,
First let me start by saying denial is a normal feeling for any parent that is faced with the possibility of something being wrong with their child. I am speaking from experience that blaming yourself does not help anything or will change the situation. My son was diagnosed with Asperger (a form of autism) when he was 4 and we just went through a full evaluation with my youngest son to see if he was austic and I have spent many sleepless nights blaming myself.
As for your daughter there could be a number of things. It could be she is a late bloomer with talking. Also the 2 languages spoken could be a major factor. Austism could also be an issue.
Most importantly is to get a meeting set up with the regional center. If they don't call you back, keep calling. Everyday if you have to. My experience with my regional center is that there are so many cases and not enough workers to handle them. If it is austism, early intervention is a must!
On a lighter note, I have to say in my experience I have seen so many wonderful, healthy, loving, children who have autism. My life has been blessed by my son and I have come to see the world in a whole new way. Believe me when I say everything will be okay. Just remember that she is your little angel and no matter what they love you share will get you through anything.
Good luck and my prayers are with you.
Nancy,
First let me say, don't be hard on yourself. If there is something wrong, which I'm not saying there is, it sounds like its something that you have no control over. There is no definitive reason for why children are autistic. There are several theories, but nothing anyone can point to conclusively.
I am a speech language pathologist who is familiar with autisim, speech and language difficulties and bilingualism. From your description, it doesn't sound like your daughter is autistic but often this diagnosis can't be confirmed util 3yrs or so. Bilingualism could very well be a reason children speak later. My question would be...Does your daughter have any words in the other language? Typically by age two a child has 50 words or so. It sounds like your daughter has no problem receptively (that is understanding language). Expressively, however, is where the concern is. There are many reasons as to why this may be the case. Does your daughter have an older sibling that speaks/interprets for her? There may be muscle weakness that inhibits the articulation. There are possibilities. The fact that your pediatricain recommended an autism evaluation is significant. However, from your description I feel this is premature. I would recommend a speech language evaluation and go from there. If there is a language delay, early intervention can remediate the problem quickly. Often, young children need a kick start to get going. There may be a genetic component involved too since the three year old cousin isn't speaking either. I would also recommend an evaluation for him. East Bay regional center can do the evaluations for free and they come to your house. They are quite competent and will give you an overall report. From the report you will get a sense of whether you should proceed with the autism evaluation.
Good luck. I hope this helps.
Serena
Hi there Nancy. I am a parent educator and preschool teacher working with a 2 year old class. If you were one of my parents I would be pulling in our director and setting up evaluations. Simply because, even though the most likely thing is that your son is simply on a slower track with language development (probably influenced too by the dual language issues), we would want to rule out anything more involved that might need early intervention. Plus, getting an evaluation would put your mind at ease.
If you were in my classroom, one of the things I would be looking for in your son is how his development is in other areas -- fine and gross motor skills (scribbling, building with blocks, trying super simple peg puzzles, sandbox, climbing, running, etc.), responding to music, looking at picture books together, etc. What I usually find is that a child who is lagging in one area, is shooting ahead in some other area. Or is otherwise expressing their awareness of and engagement with the environment and other people.
But we would want to rule out anything deeper going on. First because as parents we always feel better know we're doing all we can do, and giving our kids the best leg up on life. Second, kids who have information processing disorders, autism spectrum issues, and etc. do much better with early intervention. In fact, the sooner we start, the better they do.
Don't freeze up! :-)
Nancy,
I was in the same situation and my daughter is now 8.
She was not talking and flapped her hands and looked off to the side and didn't respond to her name.
We had her hearing checked and she was fine.
Sadly she carried toys around and played a little she said some words and stopped. One sign of autism is that kids do not point at things to share there experience with you.
Madison never ran to open the front door and didn't care about other kids, I remember she stood in a corner at a party and never ran with the other kids.
I was so much in denial and confused I didn't know what to do.
It is SO HARD.
When I called San Andreas Regional Center they would not see my daughter until she was 3 and I waited toooo long.
The best thing is to take her to Childrens Health Counsel in Palo Alto near Stanford.
They are the Experts!!!!
I have been doing this for many years now and know kids can get help early on so don't wait. Get an appointment ASAP!
If she is diagnosed as not autistic you can be relieved and move on with your life and know you went to the best professionals in the country.
My heart is with you and clearly you are a great mom or you wouldn't be concerned.
Jan
Hello Nancy,
Even though I do not have any little children, I do have a nephew who I adore like my own (sister's son) who is almost 2 and does not talk. However, when we ask him to say mama or dada he'll repeat it. My sister has had him checked for autism as well, but like your daughter he is very active and knows exactly what he wants. We've tested him ourselves and have asked him "where's the kitchen" and he will point to it or "Where the cat" he will point to it. Little basic questions. So we think it's not autism. However, my sister did tell me that a speech therapist told her that if he does not begin to expand his vocabulary by the time he is 2 1/2 to definetly begin with speech therapy. Her doctor did tell her that he may be autistic, but honestly we do not think that is so! He is way to active and does repond correctly to basic questions that a normal child his age would understand. She's also had his hearing checked and we've even tested him ourselves by whispering his name or by calling his name a couple feet away. He turns around and smiles. Don't blame yourself. My sister did say that my brother in law also had speech therapy and so did her first son who is now 9. Perhaps it's generic?
I'd go through with the evaluation. If she doesn't have the symptoms they won't diagnose her with autism, however, she can still get speech therapy through them where someone will come to your house and work with her and you and give suggestions on things to help make her talk sooner. My youngest isn't autistic but we went through the regional center because he was speech delayed and up until he turned 3 they gave us speech therapy services in our home. Then when he was 3 the school had to provide it.
Don't worry...chances are your daughter is NOT autistic. I have 29 month old twin boys who started talking VERY late. They are speech delayed NOT autistic, I think there is such a quick diagnosis for Autism more and more these days everyone is so worried about the rise in cases, however many children in bi-lingual households (as in a friend of mine) have children who are delayed in speech, mainly due to the confusion of the child as to which language they are to speak. The Regional Center here in San Diego told her to only speak English until her twins get more lingual and then start the 2nd language!!
Don't worry....your daughter is fine, from everything you described she is happy and healthy, enroll her in Regional (I did) it really has helped.
Also, get her in pre-school (my boys start in Jan), they say that will help them pick up their speech from other kids much faster than if they stay at home!!
Good luck...don't worry!
Merry Christmas!!
Gretchen
It's scary being a mom isn't it? I was worried about my son's progress at two as well. I called the local school district. I think they can test after age 3, but will refer you to the Regional Center if your child is younger than 3. I'm not sure if that is the same as the one you are referring to. It took a while for them to call me back, too. Try calling them back again - make sure you get in touch with them before mid December as they are on the same schedule as the schools and will probably take a three week break. If anything, the testing can show that your daughter is not autistic and relieve you of that worry. If it is something else, they can provide early intervention, so your child can be successful later in life. Once your child is enrolled in a program, she will continue through the school district until they determine she's ready to continue without therapy.
I'm very sure you didn't do anything wrong during pregnancy or after. In showing your concern for your daughter, you are a very loving mother. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Best wishes & I'll keep you in my prayers!
I hear you. It is challenging to have a kid that does not appear to be like all the other children.
Getting her tested at the Regional Center is a great idea - it will help alleviate your fears if nothing else. My son had language issues and getting him tested thoroughly did detect a hearing loss, though not one that the normal school tests could show. For him it meant that he could hear some, but not all of what we were saying.
He ended up with tubes and then later having his tonsils removed and those things have worked amazingly well with his speech and language issues.
They EBRC is great at doing testing for children, so is the Ann Martin Center in Oakland. In fact if you want to talk more about this, drop me a note. I've been all through the IEP process and dealt with teasting and school districts and so on.
I do want to say that difference is not inherently bad. I've known plenty of children who don't talk immediately who've grown into fine human beings. there could be lots of reasons that she's not talking - none of them autism. But if you don't get tested, the only thing you can do is worry. And that doesn't help anyone as far as I can tell (I know I've been all through it).
My first suggestion would be TURN OFF the TV. There really is no reason a child this young should be watching tv. The research shows that language acquisition is achieved and promoted by the child's primary caretaker. A study recently was released it went something like this....for every hour that a child watches so called "educational" programming, ie Baby Einstein etc...., that a child's vocab is 6-8 words less than a child who does not watch the same hour and spends that hour with a primary caretaker.
Basically, our children are genetically wired to learn language. All children develop at different rates....the best way to increase language acquisition is to talk with you baby!
Nancy,
While I am not a mother yet (our baby is due in 8 weeks) I was a nanny for several years and one of three children and feel that I can offer some insight. My brother, who is older than me, didn't speak until he was over 3 years old, my parents took him to a hearing specialist and his hearing was fine, as is your daughters. They then took him to a speech therapist and were told that wasn't needed either - he just wasn't ready to speak yet. He didn't have a need for it, then sure enough he did begin to talk and from what my mother says it was full sentences. He just had to take ev everything in, and just in case you were wondering - he is an exceptionally intelleigent man now who teaches Physics.
Seperately, while a nanny for bilingual twins, I learned first hand that children that are being taught two languages take longer to begin talking. They are processing two languages (which is great!) and so it takes a little longer. The mother of said twins had literature on the subject and was completely comfortable at where they were in their language development, as it was considered "normal."
Personally, I think it's great that you daughter is being taught two languages and encourage you to let that continue. You should not blame yourself, most children talk by two but not all, and that's okay. By the time they reach first grade almost all children are on the same level. I would talk to your daughter a lot, describing what you're doing and reading to her but past that I wouldn't try to force her to talk, let her do it at her own pace.
Also, continue to try to have her evaluated, if she has autism, the earlier you begin to work with her the better. And she might just have a mild form of it, since there are certainly varying degrees of the disease.
Good luck and please don't blame yourself, this is no ones fault and it's not good for you or your daughter if you stress over it.
While I certainly cannot say for sure there's nothing wrong, I will say that it really doesn't sound like there's a problem. The clue about the different languages spoken is the biggest key to me. I know situations of families who raised their children with 2-3 languages, and I have often heard that the child hardly spoke until about age 3, when it all came pouring out. She is likely just sorting it all out. The other thing is that while it's certainly fun, and easier, to have a child who's verbal early, not speaking early doesn't necessarily indicate there's a problem. My nephew hardly had any words until about 3, and was very frustrated with his self expression, which meant he had quite a temper. He's now 5, quite verbal, reading at a 6th grade level, and a very sweet boy.
Mostly, I think your doctor is just doing what he/she thinks ought to be done from the super-insurance-policy mind frame, and that she's probably fine, and that now, poor thing, you've got yourself worried sick and thinking you're doing something wrong. You've been avoiding the testing because you don't want to hear some bad news… but it's possible that you could go into the testing with the intention of putting your mind at ease, trusting what you know about your daughter and her well-being. Even though it might not actually be necessary, it seems like just going ahead and doing it might help you some, since by now you've gotten to such a place of worry about it. I hope you find some ease and some good news, and find your way back to yourself in all this.
I don't think she sounds autistic. I also don't think she is confused by the two languages, since my two kids both said mama and papa by 9-10 months, and my family only speaks english, while my husbands family speaks spanish, and in the house here, we speak both back and forth all day. Don't stress, just keep working on her speech with her, and have your MIL do the same, in whatever language she speaks, and your daughter will eventually pick it up. I would fill out the form and talk to the autism people about it, because they may have some tips and suggestions for what could be going on, and some possible speech classes she may join. Good luck.
Hi Nancy... I can sure relate to your worry. But it's probably just a speech delay like my middle son who is otherwise perfectly normal. The earlier the better to get her evaluated at the Regional Center. That's where we went too. He had speech therapy for about a year and now we are at Ramona Elementary Preschool (speech emphasis)It's free and so far seems wonderful. My son is four now. He's talking a ton but needs help with pronunciation. The only way to alleviate some of the worry is to start taking action. Don't blame yourself. We Moms can't control these things but we can sure take advantage of the available resources when needed. Good luck! Kristin
Yes! My son is three, and has what has been called a "profound isolated speech delay". We're still going to go for another autism screening just in case, but overall it seems that there is just some little short-circuit between his brain and his mouth.
He has been going to speech therapy for a couple months now, and we've seen some improvement just in that short time! Also, he just started the special needs preschool program in our school district; hopefully, we'll be telling him, "Look, will you just...BE QUIET FOR A MINUTE?!" soon. :)
Keep your chin up, Nancy! Personally, I don't think there is any such thing as "normal" for children. There is "average", there is "typical", but every child has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Keep on Regional, don't let them ignore you! The earlier you get started, the better the results - whether it's autism or speech delay or inner ear infection.
Nancy,
I'm sure you did not cause this issue by something you did while you were pregnant. I have two friends who had similar issues with their sons, and each took her kid to a speach therapist. It has worked in one case, and the other is still early on, though her son is starting to sign. He hears fine, but he needs to understand that he makes a specific request and then gets a response, so he is using signs for now. Next they'll move to words. He has something called apraxia? Anyway, I highly doubt your daughter is confused by the two language thing. Lots of kids grow up bilingual. Perhaps you and your DH should try not giving your DD what she wants a couple of times (with the TV perhaps?) so that, if she can actually speak, she has the motivation to do so. I've heard of that working. Sometimes parents are too good at anticipating what a child wants, and speaking becomes unneccesary. Most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, you must take your child to be evaluated for autism immediately if that is what her doc recommended. They actually call autism "autism spectrum disorder" these days because there is such a large range in severity of symptoms. Early intervention is CRITICAL and can help immensely. Autism Speaks might be a good resource for you if you want to get some info. From what you say, it does not sound as though your DD has severe autism, but she might have a less severe case. Denial is where you could do something wrong and hurt your child, which clearly you don't want to do. Sorry to be harsh, but stop looking for some phantom reason from pregnancy and allow the docs to figure out what is actually going on. The earlier a child is diagnosed, the more that specialists can do to help her. You can be in denial all you want, but it won't change reality. I know that is easy for me to say, but I have a chronic disease (physical -- could eventually take away my ability to walk, see, etc.), and I sometimes I hear people in my doc's waiting room saying that they don't want to find out if they have the disease. While I understand the fear, I don't understand what good denial does. I always respond that I'm glad I know about my disease because now I know what to do to treat what is going on and keep things from getting worse. Ignorance is not bliss. Please follow your pediatrician's advice right away. She might not have autism spectrum disorder, but if she does, not seeing a specialist will not change that fact. It will only hurt her chances of having the best life possible. Please, for your daughter's sake, do not let your fears get in the way of her well being.
Try Regional Center again. They helped my friend's son by providing some speech therapy and now he is talking more and more every day. Bilingual children often speak later, but it's worth it by far in the end. Good luck!