Little Girl Who Loves Thomas the Tank Engine NOT Baby Dolls or Princesses

Family & Parenting Other Family & Parenting
1

I need a little "Mommy Wisdom". Our daughter is two and a half and loves to read, play with stuffed animals, and adores Thomas the Tank Engine. She was introduced to Thomas by chance. She noticed a book at the library lying on the table and we read it. She has been hooked ever since. She has a small train set and adores playing with it, reading the Thomas books, and seeing the occasional Thomas video. All was great until she was invited to a neighbor's 3rd birthday party. It was Princess Extravaganza party which was lovely. Of course our little one was much more interested in the frog items at the "Frog Prince Party" than any of the princess related stuff ;-) I thought this was cute and did not give it any thought. That is just our girl - she likes stuffed animals like frogs, building with blocks, and having tea parties. She is nurturing with her stuffed animals, and she wants nothing to do with plastic baby dolls.

My husband is really upset about this especially after witnessing the birthday party last Saturday. I assured him that our little girl may like the princess stuff down the road, but right now this is who she is and we should embrace it rather than pushing princesses and baby dolls. He isn't so sure I am on target on this.

Am I off the mark ladies? If I am, I want to know. We both want what is best for our daughter and are just not seeing eye to eye right now. My husband is concerned she is not going to "fit in" if she isn't playing with dollies and princess stuff. I will admit that she often seems to play with the boys a bit more in our playgroup (building stuff) and will often play on her own even when in a small group setting in order to play with the toys she prefers.

2

I say you're lucky to have such an independent little girl. Good for her for playing with what she wants, and good for you for allowing that. I have boys who loved playing with their toy kitchen when they were younger (one still does). She will find girls to fit in with just fine, and she may like dolls and princesses as she gets older, too (or not). Enjoy your independent thinker! :-)

3

Hello, I found this funny in a sad way because it was me to a tee when I was young. My mom saved money forever to buy me a nice babydoll bed for Christmas when I was 2(my only gift b/c she was very poor), and my grandma went with us both after Christmas to buy my first babydoll. I suppose this was a big deal to them since it was a family event. They say I went up and down all the aisles at Toys R Us and turned my nose up at every single doll and wouldn't even touch them. Finally they gave up and as we were leaving, I saw the doll of my dreams. He took my breath away, I gasped, ran down the aisle with my arms out wide, and grabbed him in my arms and cooed "BABY". He was a 1977 Shogun Godzilla with giant yellow fangs and claws, a shooting hand, and a lever that made his fire tongue stick out. He was beautiful. Mom cried. Grandma bought it for me, and he loved his new bed.
That said, I have ALWAYS hated dolls (they're kinda creepy, honestly, and don't do much of anything). Too much pink at once makes my stomach hurt and I actually feel sick. I cannot walk down "the pink aisle" in the toy section, even now at age 33 without getting into an awfully foul mood. But I had a very happy childhood, I excelled at writing and literature and everything to do with imagination. I DID have friends, some were very girly, but as a young child when the OTHER kids' parents were shoving girl stuff down their girls' throats, I did probably play more with boys than girls, not because I didn't fit in but because I didn't choose to play "house" or play with toys that just laid there...But I was always able to walk and talk with girls who were the kind of people I would WANT to be friends with (not judgemental or clique-ish) I was active in sports, and had a great time in swim team, softball, volleyball, track, and soccer. I was interested in gymnastics (remember Mary Lou Retton?) but there weren't a lot of classes for that where I lived. I'm straight (perhaps my mom worried about that on our trip to get Godzilla, but by 6th grade that worry was gone, lol), married to my best friend, and I have to say I'm a pretty great mom. Not only am I a nurturing, caring, fun but routine based mom, but I am also a childcare giver. I secretly worried (ONLY because of what SOCIETY says about "real" girls) that I wouldn't have the maternal instinct and was scared of the idea of having babies (because society made me think that if you don't play with dolls, there's some key factor missing from your personality). That COMPLETELY went away once I was pregnant. I think you should let her go with what is natural for her, and let her feel good about herself. Today it's "you should play pretty pink princess" and later she's dumbing herself down in highschool because boys won't look at her the same if she knows the answers in Math class. I say kill the gender defining stuff as soon as possible. The same goes for a friend of mine, who had a son who DID like dolls. She was very upset about this, even though he's not a feminine kid, because it was just "wrong". I asked him why he liked that doll, and he said "because I want to learn how to be a good dad instead of the dad I have" (he was SEVEN when he said that!). My son likes to play in a play house and loves to "cook". When someone mentioned that it was weird for a boy to want a kitchen, I asked her to name more than 2 major female chefs, and how many rich/famous MALE chefs could she name. I'm not planning my retirement based on my aspirations for my son to be a chef (lol) but I'm going to let him explore whatever toys he finds interesting. I really suggest you don't worry about it. Good luck with your husband....and let him know your daughter doesn't have to wear a tutu to be a successful woman.
*Incidentally: mom threw my godzilla (aka "baby") away when I was 12 and I never got over it. My husband wanted to celebrate mother's day by giving me the coolest gift ever: he found that same model godzilla on ebay and got it for me again, this time for $190 more than it originally cost, but loved just the same. :)

4

Your husband needs to find something else to worry about, IMHO. Maybe she'll be an engineer!

5

One of the hardest things to do as parents is to accept out children for who they are. We all want our kids to be happy and the only way for that to happen is to let them be who they were meant to be. If your daughter likes boy's toys and never wants dolls or princess toys then you and your husband will have to embrace it. She is who she is. My son went to school with a little girl who loves Spider Man and her parents are totally fine with it. They even gave her a Spider Man b'day party for her 5th b'day and not one child questioned whether Spider Man should only be for boys. I think adults are the ones with the problems, not other children. As long as your daughter is healthy and happy, just let her play with whatever toys she wants and count your blessings!

6

Oh My.....I have been there. ENJOY your independent thinker!!!!

My daughter is 14. She never got into dolls however we have hundreds of stuffed animals she adores. We also have a Thomas the Train set.

She later got into some (few) Barbies and the the Bratz dolls but her love was always the stuffed animals.

Move forward....now 14 yrs old and a princess. I LOVE it. She loves the attention she gets from her cheering and higher level orchestra and being a girly girl.

Don't worry mom....you'll be dealing with boys before you know it (as we are) and have a self confident daughter who is not afraid to speak up and stand up for herself.

Prime example: Daughter has had a "boyfriend" for 2 weeks. This is not the first. He broke up with her last week because????? She had too many guy friends and he demanded that she not talk to her guy/male friends. Her response was "that is immature, I am not going to stop talking to my guy friends just because I have a boyfriend.". She was empowered and was relieved when she stood up to this guy.

Hang in there....you have a good girl on your hands.

7

You're on the right track. Let her love what she loves and don't worry about her not fitting in. Better that she follow her own heart/drummer. She may have more of a building/engineering mindset and heck, nothing wrong with that!

8

My 2 year old daughter loves trains and cars. She plays with her kitchen and dolls too, but she really LOVES vehicles, especially fire trucks. They all develop different tastes and it is so fun to watch. Let her be. :)

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I have 2 daughters. One is a girly girl, the other a complete tomboy. Now a lot of moms SAY their daughter is a tomboy, but mine is tomboy to the core. She's always gotten into bugs, worms, robots, etc. But she also loves stuffed animals. I've never been concerned about it, as I've also been a tomboy myself... it's just natural for some girls. I will say that, unlike the previous poster, I don't think my daughter will ever change.

She's 10 now... going into 5th grade. From birth through 3rd grade she ONLY had boy friends. Of course, we'd got to playgroup and school and she'd be with girls, but she always gravitated to the boys and set up playdates with the boys. The only time that was an issue was when kids started having sleepovers and PJ bday parties. So we set up a few "mock" PJ parties. We did everything the same except actually sleeping over.

When she was younger, and would be invited to boys bday parties, the parents would always apologize... "I'm sorry, she'll be the only girl at the party, but Jake really wanted to invite her." Personally, I thought it was cool that she wasn't afraid to be different.

In 4th grade this past year, she finally made 2 girl friends that she actually has sleepovers, playdates, etc. Of course, they're very much like her... we go fishing at 7:30 am after sleepovers (worms, turtles and slimy fish are their favorites!)

One of the other advantages of having a true tomboy is the fact that she's very modest with her body. She wares a full bathing suit (board shorts almost down to her knees, and rash guard t-shirt (I'm so glad they make them for girls now)). She doesn't want anything low cut or belly showing (if she stands on her tippy toes and reaches for the sky - if her belly is exposed at all, her shirt is "too small" (I'm so glad longer torso-ed tshirts are back in style).

Now my 8 year old is another story... a real girly girl. I'm more worried about her as a teen than I am about my 10 year old. It's all about the bikinis, shirts that show belly, when can I wear makeup, etc. I'll be in trouble with that one : )

Good luck!
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10

My daughter loves Thomas too. In our case I think it is because she has an older brother, but still, she's much rather play with the Thomas toys and watch Thomas than anything else. She's so young, just let her be herself.

11

Laurie,
Tell your husband to relax. I was a Tom Boy myself. Cowboys and Indians all the way. I still don't like frilly things. But I love my funky jewelry, an occasional shop, a nice pedicure.

Your daughter is who she is. I don't believe it benefits her to try to change her in tastes and styles. Tell your husband parents must pick battles. This one in my mind is a no brainer. Embrace who your daughter is and don't give it a second thought.
Patty

12

I can't believe your husband is upset about this. This definitely needs to be filed under the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff category.

My step-daughter loved Thomas, matchbox cars, and could point out every make of luxury vehicle when she was that age. Still loved those things when I met her at 4 years old. Now at 10, all of that is gone and has been replaced by typical girl stuff.

On the flip side, when my son was younger, he wanted me to paint his toenails when I painted on and wanted his own makeup compact to carry around. Now, at 4, if he takes my compact, it's to make it into a spaceship or rocket (opens it to spread its wings so it can fly). :)

Tell your husband to calm down and enjoy the ride.

13

i was quite the tomboy, due to having 3 brothers, growing up. now i'm comfortable being the girly girl on date night or wrestling with my boys or just hanging out with my guy friends over beer or even getting mani/pedis and shopping. even tomboys eventually discover the full circle. promise!

14

i wouldn't worry my daughter loves princesses and her personality is girly girl
she loves purses and makeup and her fingernails painted but she loves playing with her cars she will play with them all day long so i don't think it matters what they play with boys have penis and girls have vaginas and that is what they are it donsn't matter what they play with so your girl is normal

15

We have 3 girls. And I myself was somewhat of a tomboy,but also liked girl stuff as well.We experienced the same problem years ago. Here is what we discovered. The boys toys are more exciting, so it's no wonder she wants to play with them. Boys are more exciting to play with. They are constantly full of energy and always up to something. I would definately encourage both kinds of play and toys. I would not just indulge in the boy stuff she thinks she likes. I would get her a variety. Kids do know some of the things they naturally like, but they also should be encourage to feel comfortable in their gender as well and shown . They learn this from us.They should be introduced to and feel comfortable with girl items. I mean, they are girls. We should be proud of that. If she doesn't like princess stuff who cares, maybe she will be into horses and going for the more girl next door?There are other forms of feminity.I have a princess,equestrian rider, and a scientist. Only one out of 3 loved princess stuff.

16

Does your daughter know a ton about Thomas and the Magic Railroad, Calling all Engines and The Great Discovery? Does she know that George Carlin, Alec Baldwin and Michael Brandon narrated Thomas the tank engine in the USA?