My husband's boss just bought a huge condo in Miami and is offering to let us stay there for a week in July. I have never been to Florida and I am sooooo excited about this. At the time of our trip, our son will be 23 months old and our daughter will be just 3 months old. The thing is, we are planning to leave our daughter behind with Grandma & Grandpa because she really isn't supposed to be in the sun yet. While in Florida, we will (obviously?) be spending a lot of time outside, and we may even try to go to Disney World for a day (at least we think so...we actually have no idea how long of a drive it would be, so we are not sure on that one yet.) I just don't feel comfortable bringing my daughter on a vacation like this, and if we did bring her, I would feel pretty limited to what we could do.
My question is: Am I a bad mom for leaving my daughter for a week? Should I even be considering this? Is this going to have any sort of impact on her? I'm sure she will be fine, but I can't help but fear she will completely forget about me! Has anyone else left their children behind at this young age (not out of necessity, but for pure fun)? Or am I the only woman who would consider leaving their 3 month old for a week? My mother-in-law keeps saying my daughter will be fine, and I'm sure she will be, but then again, Grandma is really looking forward to an un-interrupted week with her first and only granddaughter! Can anyone make me feel better about this? Or should we pass on this trip altogether until my daughter is old enough to make the trip with us?
You in no way are a bad mom for leaving your daughter with grandma & grandpa, you are doing what is best for everyone! Your son will have a great time and it will be nice for him to have some alone time with you guys. Also, I'm sure that Grandma and Grandpa will enjoy that one on one time with your daughter. Don't feel guilty at all, it sounds like you guys will have a nice time and it will be a good get away for all of you. Your daughter will not even know that you're gone and you'll probably be more upset than she will that you left! Just go and have fun, it's only a week!!!
You shouldn't feel guilty. You are leaving your daughter with grandma who will take VERY good care of her and you are taking a probably well needed break with your husband and son. You will come back a well rested, happy mom which will be good for everyone. Enjoy yourself and call you daughter while you are gone and have your mom hold up the phone for her and you can tell her how much you love here and that you will be back soon. :)
I don't think your a bad Mom for leaving your little daughter behind.. If anything your a good Mom for asking us! :) If you trust Grandma and feel that she will be in great hands while you are gone than that is a better idea than trying to take her along in the hot sun on a vacation. Trust me, my girlfriend brought her 3 month old to a waterpark in Ohio and that poor baby was so very hot we thought she was getting a fever. Her cheeks were so red and she just cried and was miserable. You do what you feel is best for your baby.. There is nothing wrong with leaving her for a week. My husband and I left our two children 3 and 1 with my parents while we went on a weeks vacaction to take our honeymoon and we really enjoyed ourselves. It is hard to leave our little ones, but sometimes it is good to do so. Good Luck and have fun! I too am 31 and have been married for 6 years!
personally I wouldn't I'd be afraid it would destroy our bond. She has no way of knowing/understanding where Mommy went. Suddenly she's with Gramma and Mommy and Daddy are gone.
I wouldn't leave the baby, Ithink 3 months is too young, my daughter is 2 1/2 and I would just now be able to part with her for about that amount of time for a vacation of course she's old enough we would take her now. but it's YOUR child and certainly your decision if your comfortable with it that's all that matters, don't let that make you feel like a bad mom, you care enough to ask for advice.
Wow! Everybody seems to be all for it.
I am a stay at home mom also. I can understand that sometimes we all need a break.
The first time I left my daughter overnight, she was 9 months old (now six)And it was for 2 nights. I was so excited to spend time with just my hubby and relax, stay up late and sleep in etc.... I thought about my daughter the entire time, had a hard time relaxing , couldnt wait to get home to her and hug and kiss on her. I missed her sooooo much!! After that experience, I have learned that 1 night away is just right , for me.
Your daughter will be just fine, a week away from you. But will you be fine a week away from her?
Here is a suggestion, what do you think of taking Grandma with you on the trip. That way, you will still be in the sun having fun, and be able to come home to your daughter as well. Just a thought. Enjoy your vacation! Disney is a blast!!
I think it would depend on the time Grandma has spent with her up to this point. If your daughter is very comfortable with Grandma and Grandma know how your day to day works then I think it would be okay.
My hubby and I left our twins home for a long weekend (4 days) with G&G so we could go to our cabin when they were about 7 mths. Let me tell you...you will miss your baby every second:(
But you do need to get away sometimes too. If you have been w/out a vaca for 2.5 years...you may need to go:)
Take the trip!! You are not a bad mom and your bond goes way deeper than a week away can destroy! You are your daughters life, but that does not mean you have to be there every second. She will not even know you are gone and the vaca will do more good for you than harm to her. Of course you will miss her terribly but grandma (assuming she is able) needs to bond with her as well. I'll bet their relationship will be even stronger for it!!! How many times in your life will you be offered a trip like this, anyway?
The advice to take grandma with was a great idea, too, if that's a possibility. You'll have baby there with you and she'll have time alone there with grandma, too.
We moms need to take care of ourselves even more after we have our babies. We don't give up our other identities when that baby comes out, so embrace this opportunity to renew, refresh and have a blast...guilt free!!
Hi Debbie,
I think it is a personal decision. I don't think anyone would think you are a bad mom. I personally couldn't do that though. I would worry the entire trip which would defeat the purpose of going on a vacation. I like the idea of maybe bringing Grandma or someone else with you to watch her while you guys play. If the condo is free for the week you would only have food that maybe you would have to pay for. Good luck with your decision.
Chris
Ultimately it is your decision, but I wouldn't do it. I think 3 months old is old enough for her to go. I've been places (Zoo, Cedar Pointe, etc) and seen people with NEWBORNS. Now I think that is entirely too young to be out around people (germs and such), but 3 months is a good age. Plus, I think you'll miss her too much. A week is a long time. You can still enjoy yourself, your hubby, and other child if you bring the baby along. I don't think this would be a vac to "get-away", since you're taking your older child. Sounds like a family vac, but you don't want to have to worry about taking care of your baby girl. (I understand and sympathize with you). But I think those are the joys of being a parent. Like I said, if you REALLY want to get away, why bring your son?
(Oh, and FYI I'm a mother of two: 2.5 yrs old and 10 months)
Let us know what you decide. I wish you a happy vac either way. :)
hi debbie
i think it all up to you my youngest is 27 mo and i could not imagin being away from her a night let alone a week i am sure grandma would take care of her just fine but i think you would miss her weigh to much to the point you might be home sick she would be fine to go with you sun screen and light clothes and a light hat well good luck and have fun
I can see how this would be a hard decision to make.
How are Grandma & Grandpa? Are they able to handle your daughter for a week? I would leave my baby (and I have for three nights, 4 days with G&G for pure fun) if you know they are capable of handling your little one. And will they be staying at your house. Which I think will make it a lot easier.
Could G&G go with you and stay at a hotel close by and be babysitters on your trip?
What if they came down halfway thru the week to cut down on the cost? That way you and your husband can have alone time and family time.
Taking a 3 month old to Florida just doesn't sound like much fun. And not very relaxing for anyone!
I don't think you will be a bad mother for leaving your daughter with G&G – no bond will be lost in that one week.
I know my mother-in-law would love to have my daughter for a week. I think she'd move in if we let her!
Plus how nice for them to spend time with her - their first and only granddaughter. That will be a nice bond for them.
NO. Have a great time and just leave the grandparents directions and phones # if anything arises.
Have a good time. Miami to Orlando i wanna say is 4-5hrs or less. Map it and check it. If you trust who you are leaving her with and they can handle the waking up if she wakes up in the middle of the night then have a blast. Ans please do not listen to Erika or Samantha C. Themr telling you to not go is just amazing. The bringing the grandparents half way down the trip aint a bad idea then you and your hubby can do somethings too way to go lola on that idea. You go, you do not know the next time you will be able to do this. Have some fun with your other child alone. He or She will love one on one Mommy time.
Good luck and go for it
This is such a good issue for mom's to discuss. We all feel tied down so often with our little ones. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old. When my daughter was little we took her to Florida and I brought along my youngest sister to be the babysitter because I could not fathom leaving the baby behind. Now with 2 of them, I don't feel the same way. Your littl girl is not going to lose any type of bond with you. She's yours, and you're hers. She may have a rough couple days, but if she is fimiliar with grandma, she'll do okay. Expect when you get home that she may be a little more clingy than normal or may get up in the night a little more often. But I say TAKE THE TRIP. Give yourself some time, your husband some YOU time, and your other child some undevoted MOM time. This will be a nice break for all of you. Go and Enjoy!
You are not a bad mom. Call her and have your mom put her ear to the phone and talk to her. I had fears of leaving my son and it did not impact him at all. The time she will be able to spend with her grandma would be great! For her and your mom.
We flew to Orlando in May and drove to my husband's uncle's house in Miami--its about a three and a half hour drive on the turnpike.
I left my daughter for a week when she was 9 months old and she was not happy when we got back. I was breastfeeding and she refused to breastfeed for a day and then she finally started up again. At 3 months it may not be a big deal, but I would also not hesitate to take her on vacation either. We are planning to go to Ft. Lauderdale in February and at that time I will have a 7 week old and we will be taking it and our daughter with us. I wouldn't feel so guilty about it if you leave her or take her, she will be fine either way and the impact of either decision will not affect her in the long run.
Oh Honey, u & her will be fine. Take up the oportunity if u have it. Grandma will take good care of u & she will not forget u at all. u should do it now instead of when she is a little older, it will make it worse then. Things will be fine & u will miss her but u will be ok. She will be ok. Take this trip & have fun, u r right u would be very limited if u took her. I hope u have a great time & u r NOT a bad mother at all. I would never even consider that act as being a bad mom. U need time too. Even though u have your 23 month old u will still have fun & this will give him some one on one time w/ u & your hubby. Your oldest will enjoy this very much, i am sure. Have a great time & relax things will be ok. Good luck w/ ya.
I don't think you have a thing to worry about. I am leaving all 4 of my kids for 3 days mid-July and can't wait. They are older 12, 5, 3 and 2. As long as you know G&G can handle the baby don't worry other wise you'll end up like me...I haven't had a single night away from kids since my 5 year old was born.
Another option is to take G&G(or just one of them) along if there is room in the condo(you said it is huge) or put them up in a hotel.
If you really are worried about leaving her and they can't go along you could always hire a nanny while you are there. Here is a place to find one http://www.4nanny.com/agency_directory/florida.htm
It looks like there are a few agencies in the Miami area that do temp. work either by the week or the hour. Though, it would probably be less expensive to take at least Grandma. Good Luck!