I was told by a family member that it is not appropriate to have a baby shower with second and subsequent pregnancies. Has anyone heard this and what do you think about it?
I have never heard such a thing! My sister has 7 kids and we gave her a shower for every single one. I received a shower for each of my three boys. I think every single baby deserves to have a shower, even if not for the gifts, but for the pictures and rememberences for later in life! Every baby is a celebration and to have a gathering of friends and families to welcome the little one (or if the shower is before delivery, then help prepare for the arrival) is special and important!
Me: 35 yo SAHM with a 7 1/2, 3 1/2 and 22 month old boys.
I say what a load of bull!! Every baby is different and their life deserves to be celebrated!! Everyone looks at baby showers like "oh it's a way to get gifts" but it isn't. Who cares if it's your 2nd, 3rd or 8th baby? It's a new life and that's what matters!
Have fun and by the way, Congradulations!!
I think that in the past etiquette said that you only have a shower for the first baby. However most of us do not follow that advice if it's even in vogue now. My daughter had a shower for both of her kids. Her sister did for all 4 of hers. Gifts are part of the fun but if the people you want to have to your shower think they're not appropriate make it a party with gifts optional. As others have said, it's a celebration of a new life. Party time!
I do agree with the part of that past etiquette that says the mother doesn't give the shower herself. I have seen that happen and then it does seem a bit tacky.
I concur with the rest! If someone wants to throw you a baby shower, hooray for them and hooray for you. I don't think that having another shower is a bad thing, but I do think that someone else should be the one throwing it...not the person having the baby. Congrads!
There is nothing wrong with having a baby shower no matter how many babies you have. A baby shower is meant to celebrate the new baby and buy gifts for that baby and also to spoil the mom. Don't listen to those who think it's wrong to have another baby shower. Having a baby is a big deal and you and your baby deserve to be pampered. Enjoy and congratulations on your second child.
I have never heard that. I had a baby shower for my 2nd child. My mom and mother-in-law threw it for me. I've even been to showers where the mother to be threw her own shower. Go for it!
Well, it appears that I am definitely in the minority with this, but I feel that it is wrong to expect people to throw a party every time you have a baby. If your friends want to give you and the baby gifts, that is one thing. I believe the whole idea behind having a shower is to help the new mother get started on her new adventure. If your circumstances change between pregnancies...... new friends, you moved to a new area, etc, that is an exception. To me it sounds like the expectant mother is depending on/expecting other people to outfit her new baby. I had 3 children and had showers with both the first and the last, only because my life and friends had changed with the last pregnancy. I never expected to have anything after the first baby, nor was I disappointed when I recieved nothing. It should be up to individuals as to whether or not they want to give you gifts for the baby.
Hi Cassandra,
I am a mom of 4 and I believe every child is worthy of a baby shower. You should go ahead and have a shower and maybe ask for specific items geared towards the second child. Like a special blanket, hat or coat with babies name or initial. Maybe some new cloth diapers, etc. With my third I asked everyone to write a wish for my baby and that went over very well. Good luck!
Teresa
Not having a baby shower with 2nd children was an old tradition. My mother-in-law still swears that it's not appropriate, but I've never heard anyone in my generation say that. Every baby is a celebration. I say go for it!
I have never heard of this. However, if you're worried about looking bad, change it up a little... call it a "Celebration" rather than a baby shower. Celebrate the life of your body and it coming into this world. If you don't need the gifts, you could even request no gifts... just get together, play games, talk, and celebrate your babie's life. Although, I think you will find that even this way, a lot of people coming to celebrate with you will bring gifts because who doesn't like to give "new baby gifts"!!!
My mom was the same way- but I still wanted the party, so with my youngest we just had a "welcome baby" party a couple weeks after she was born. Didn't do the games or anything- though I wish we could have.
Anyway, everyone is right that that is a very old tradition. It's about as outdated as "a woman's place is in the kitchen". Every baby should be celebrated!
I've never heard anyone say that it's not appropriate to have a shower for your second. I don't see any problem with it. Your second, third, etc. are just as special and important as your first born! Congrats on baby number 2
Well, I do agree that you can do whatever you want and whatever is the "norm" within your group of friends. I have a tight group of about 8 girlfriends, and none of us had showers beyond the first pregnancy. We're just not into it and had a tendency to feel that it seemed greedy and materialistic to have a shower when you already had everything you needed. Plus, none of us can stand shower games. : ) Don't get mad ladies, of course every baby is as special as the first, but there are other ways honor babies besides gifts. I think a great tradition would be to treat the mom to a spa day or something, about 2-3 months after the baby is born and she's wondering if she'll ever have a moment to herself again!
Julie
I feel that you should do what feels right to you. My opinion is that I believe every miracle from god should be celebrated by everybody. Being able to get pregnant is a miracle. There is so many people in the world that are not able to get pregnant, so I think the ones that are able to should and should celebrate as much as they can, and should be proud of it. Don't worry about what other people think!!!
I don't know whose family you are from, but I've never heard that one before! I am three days from delivering my second, and I had a baby shower, but I didn't score as much stuff as my first. Of course I hadn't kept anything from my previous pregnancy so I have to start all over again.
Do what you can to get what you need without buying it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's expensive to have to buy for baby all by yourself! Don't listen to some myth your family told you, or you will be struggling!
Good luck and let me know if you need anything.
My feeling is if you had a baby shower with the first one and you are having another one baby reletivly close to the first one then I would have to agree and say it is a little inappropriate. But you are the mother and in the end it is your call.
Cassandra-
It is absolutely okay to have a shower for your second baby. Your new baby will still need things, right? And the new baby is just as precious and special as the first.
I had a shower for my second, but not my third. But not that I didn't want one, our life was just so full with other things we simply couldn't find the time. But she's been "showered" with gifts many times over by family and friends since she was born. A friend of the family even offered to host a party for her after she was born, but it never happened.
If your family is truly reluctant to have a baby shower before your little bundle arrives, try asking about a "welcome baby" party after baby comes. I'm sure that everyone will still want to meet the new addition and bring gifts (everyone that I know loves shopping for baby stuff!) And don't be shy when Aunt Edna asks, "what does the little one need?" If you really need a new Boppy, say so! A new crib mattress? Speak up! People would rather give things that are going to be helpful and used by baby than things that are "cute" but gathering dust in a closet.
Oops... Hope my advice didn't run too long! Well, pick the advice that sounds like it will work for you and good luck!
-Becky-
I seriously don't see anything wrong with it. I have 3 kids and i have had a baby shower for all 3 of them. It is not like you are having it just to get the gifts for yourself...it is a new life cominbg into the world. And besides what if you have the opposite sex from what you have now...you are going to need different things...especially clothes.
Sarah M.
I see no problem with it especially if someone is offering to give it to you. I am currently having a boy this time, my first was a girl, and my mom and my sister have decided to throw me another shower. I think if you are having a baby of the same sex then maybe not have a baby shower but a party that celebrates you. I went to a party for a friend of mine who was having her second girl and we just had a party to pamper her. In gereral though, I don't see a problem with having another baby shower. Every baby should be celebrated.