Last week a very close friend of our family (he was like my 2nd grandfather) passed away. He is being cremated, but there is a service for him. My grandmother metioned to me that I would need to find a sitter for my 10 month old daughter because she thinks it would be disrespectful to bring her to the service. I personally don't agree with this. Number 1, anyone that I would trust to babysit, will already be at the service so that doesn't work out too well. Number 2 my daughter is very well behaved in public (and if she did start acting up, I would step out with her). She was at my husbands grandfathers funeral service and there was no issue there. I just wanted so "outsider" opinions. Thank you.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Maybe she just is thinking about YOU. If you'll be upset and emotional (I don't know this, just thinking out loud) your daughter will pick up on that.
If she behaves well and you don't see an issue with it, I say bring her. I agree with you - I only leave my children with close family members, and if like you say, they'll all be there, you don't have any other options. Now, with older children, I would think it could be traumatic. She's too young to understand.
I took my 10 month old son to my husband's fathers service and had no issues. We sat in the cry room of the church just to be safe. Everyone would have thought it very odd if we hadn't of brought him. If the person you are remembering knew and loved her, she should be there. If not, she should still come because you shouldn't be made to feel unwelcome simply because you have her. I'm sure she is in the minority with that opinion.